I've grown up with my biological grandmother and her second husband. I sustained injuries when I was an infant, and Children's Aid became involved and said they were wary of me going back with my real parents because of this. There was a court case, and eventually my grandmother and grandfather - Rosalind and John - basically took custody of me. They did not do so out of compassion, however - Rosalind had three children with her first husband, but she could not have any more, and she wanted one with John. So when that happened to me, they took advantage of this to take me from my real parents. Please understand that I am not ungrateful - these two individuals have emotionally abused me for my entire fifteen years of living with them, as they did to my mother, aunt and uncle. They are the type of abusive people who outsiders think and funny and easygoing, but who are really nasty and sadistic. A few years ago, I developed a very good relationship with my aunt, Lisa, who understands completely what they are and what it was like to live with them. I tried to go live with her, but Rosalind found out and immediately put a stop to this. I wasn't allowed to talk to her for a year and a half after this, but when I did, we began scheming for my escape again. She wanted me to meet my father, who Rosalind and John had never let me meet (although they let me meet my mother when I was thirteen, only because she is Rosalind's daughter). So I have met him behind their back, twice to date, and I am planning to leave shortly after my birthday in December, when I turn sixteen. This is because, after I turn sixteen, they cannot call the cops and force me to come back. I am free to leave and never come back. But I feel nervous as well - having lived with them so long, they have a powerful influence over me. I care far too much about what they think about me, and everything else. Even though they constantly criticize me, and I am afraid of them, I am also afraid to go. And I am planning to go live with my real father, but I hardly know him. My aunt, who I trust very much, tells me he is a good person, and so far that is what I see. But having lived with manipulative people who are good at acting nice (when it benefits them), I'm not sure what to do. Although I'm trulypositive he can't be worse than THEM. What do you think I should do? ....if you have taken the time to read this....?
....and what do you think I could do to make time between now (August) and my birthday (in December) pass faster?Complicated family situation - desperately in need of advice!?
Wow, that is really a tough one. I'm not entirely sure how to answer this but I'll go ahead and put in my 2 cents worth. I suppose it can be daunting to leave a place you've called home for years. Crossing the comfort zone is scary and hard. But at the same time, I suppose you ultimately need to sit down and think hard about what will truly make you a happier and free-er person. Life is too short to be in a situation where you're unhappy and hurt all the time. Maybe between your time from now and December, you should try establishing more regular contact with your father. Just so you truly feel more trusting and sure about your move to go stay with him. You can only judge for yourself and having doubts at the back of your head won't do you good. Try speaking to your aunt more and just ask her say if things between you and your father don't go well, whether you could go live with her. That can be your Plan B. Those are always good to have around for the ';what ifs';. Especially if you don't wanna have to move back into your grandmother's place. Well, I hope that helps and good luck!!!
Like Alanis Morisette sang in Crazy - ';We're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy!';Complicated family situation - desperately in need of advice!?
Holly, Holly, Holly. Unless your grandparents are abusing you in some horrible fashion, which I doubt, you'd be better off with them. I was 16 once upon a time and I was convinced that my parents and anyone over 30 was completely insane, ignorant, you-name-it. It was amazing how much they had improved by the time I was 21. Your grandmother is being over-protective precisely because you are 16. Be kind and patient and bring these people up right, you only have 2 more years to accomplish this. Everyone else will notice it, too. Make good grades, do your chores without asking, practice good manners at all times and be pleasant. There's no way in the world they wouldn't trust a girl like this. And be trustworthy. If you leave, you may not even get a high school diploma, let alone a college degree. Your future is at stake and it really is a cold, cruel world out there. One of these days, you'll wish you were back at your grandparents' home without a REAL care in the world. Yes, it's a hassle now but the pay-ff is priceless.
you poor thing
i can't say i have ever been in your situation as i have a loving mum and dad %26amp; 3 sisters... but i can tell you that there is people out there who will love you and won't be so horrible to you.
Its very responsible for you to go live with your dad, instead of a boyfriend, but make sure because you don't know the real him that you have all your friends and aunt know where you are, and make sure you keep people in the loop.
also see child protection services if you want to leave early ... you shouldn't have to live your life in fear it's your life and you should be happy!
Wow, that's a whopper. I'm not sure where to begin. Well, I think the fact that you're making plans to go live with your dad shows a lot of initiative, and it's a very good thing. Keep up a good relationship with your aunt, as it is obvious that she understands and cares about you. And anyone who tells you emotional abuse is normal for parents are a bunch of f*cking morons (pardon my French) It's not acceptable. However, there really isn't anything you can do till you turn 16. Just go to school, work hard, get a job if you can...anything to get out of the house. And trust me, it won't end there. You'll still have problems over what's happened to you, but just talk it over with people you trust and you'll get through it alright, I'm sure. Just be grateful you actually have people there you feel comfortable talking to and that you're not totally alone. Also, try doing things with yourself more, and try dealing with things on your own. Try not to go to your grandparents(?) for any advice, because it shows you're dependant on them.
Hang in there.
This is very difficult, unless you are being physically abused, try to wait 2 more years till you turn 18. After 18 years make arrangements to stay with your favorite aunt. As for your father, take it slow and feel out what type of relationship you can have.
I hope all works out for you.
I think it's really cool your taking action against this situation. I think if you leave though you should have a back up plan just in case your dad turns out to be not what he seems just have an extra place you know you can go if you ever need to leave his house
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