Would like advice on how you cope with being miles away from family?

we are in the process of moving 4 hours away to Suffolk my mum at the moment is only 20 mins away so we are always on hand. i was worried about leaving my mother she's widowed and 62 but she's fit enough. except today she had her bag snatched whilst she put flowers on my dads headstone. i am know feeling guilty i am torn between moving away. although it has been our dream to move to Suffolk for years and my husband has a new job that he's always wanted i feel i wouldnt settle for worrying about my mother and we cant afford to move her to Suffolk with us. neither can she afford to move i am torn as anyone been through a similar situation and how did you copeWould like advice on how you cope with being miles away from family?
Your Mum would still have suffered the bagsnatch today whether or not you were moving to Suffolk wouldn't she? You're only 20 minutes away now but it still happened. A good parent raises their son/daughter just so that they are able to spread their wings %26amp; fly (in all senses). You should not feel guilty %26amp; should definitely continue with your move. Could you get her a PC %26amp; webcam so she can keep in touch more easily ? Have you got siblings who live nearer to her ?Would like advice on how you cope with being miles away from family?
I live 2500 miles away from my entire family and I'm an only child - it's very difficult sometimes, your mother will also score a few more gray hairs when you move because she will worry about you but the road of life is giving you a new fork in the road with the new job etc and you just need to try not to worry and know that you can be home in 4 hours if there is a need.
Seperating from a key family member who has been apart of your life for so many years is far from easy and theres no magic way to make it better, however, when its something you need to do in your life then the only comfort I can offer you is that while the first few weeks may be very difficult you will start to settle into your new life and you may find your future gettogethers will be more special and memorable than the daily trips you took to see her when she was right down the street.
You are not married to your mother, Mine lives with me and is 91 and it has all but ruined my marriage. We have no privacy. Mother is unaware of how it is for us and there is no way I would ever tell her as I am sure she doesn't have much longer to live. We just learn to cope with it. she has been here for 14 years! I do not recommend this situation it is very hard! You are better to follow your dream as I am sure your mother did when her opportunities came along. You can visit her and I am sure she has friends. When she gets older you could look for sheltered accommodation near where you live and she could move into the area, that would be the best of both worlds. Your responsibility is to be with your husband. You will settle if you make your mind up to do so. I wish you every happiness in your new life in Suffolk
I sort of know what you're going through, I moved away from friends and family to live with my boyfriend when he got a job. You sound really close to your mum. She is still relatively young, does she have other family and friends that can help out. It will be really hard for the first while, but it will get better. Your mum will want the best for you and although she will be sad I'm sure she will understand. She will always be just a phonecall away and there are weekends to visit and the possibility of her coming to stay. You owe it to yourself and your husband to try moving to Suffolk and give it a shot, otherwise you will always wonder what if. If it doesn't work out you can always move back, that way at least you will know you tried.


Don't feel guilty though, its not your fault and your mum and husband both know you love them.
first of all it is never going to be easy to move away from people you love and care for.i have moved between various citys over the last 5 years and i found the best way to cope is to throw yourself into your new life if u spend too much time thinking about it u will feel very homesick and want to go home.when you have been there a few weeks it will get easier.also your mum would probably feel guilty if u didnt go because of her.im sure she knows you love her and its not tooo far to travel so will still get to see each other.............go for it and good luck to you both and sorry to hear about your mothers bag...............
Albiet, I myself have not been through this same situation yet. I actually know an elderly Lady who is,.... at this very moment.


If/When you move to Suffolk you will just get into a routine of having your Mum telephone you, vica versa, and eventually you will think it is second nature, and not know why you were sooo concerned intially.


Mum, sounds fine, nothing is ever wrong, she has a few Friends nearby If...............But that will never happen.......








I am glad I never had to make a decision like you have had to, it must be a nightmare for you.


My Mum and me lived one stop on a train, away from each other, and a lot of the time Mum would stay over.


My Mum, was only 47 years old/young, she was fit and everything, always busy, then Mum just died.... I was not there with my Mum; I was there the day before, Mum died early... mornng time.


I could not leave my Mum on her own... visiting her husband's grave alone.getting mugged whilst placing flowers on grave...


No I could not do it...


Somehow, I would make sure my Mum came too, she needs her Family now, just like they all did when your Mum brought all the Childen up!





Babies are more work and People accept this, but close their eyes to eldely relations.


Do not leave your Mum, take her with you, were there is a will there is a way.
aawww thats horrible, my friend! Sorry to hear about the bag snatching thing. Rain falls on just and unjust alike, and that was a bit of bad luck on a really bad time. I'm sure she's feeling really bad now, so call her 5 time per day and visit her when you can. But i'm sure she (and your late father) want you to move on and maximize your chances of success.