Ok, my husband and I have a 1 year old daughter and we live in Ohio. All my side of the family lives in South America and my hubby has both his parents in Indiana (2 1/2 hs away from us) and his two sisters in Ohio. Our girl is my in-laws 12th grandchild. My MIL hasn't worked in decades and her only occupation are her ';clubs'; (bridge, gourmet,etc) She has babisat for my sisters in law A LOT. Even stayed in town for days/weeks at a time when they were on business trips or vacation with their husbands. Well, she has only babaysat for us ONCE since our baby was born and last friday we asked her if she could babisit in October for a week so we can go on a vacation( we haven't even gone on ONE date since our baby was born) and she said: ';We are going to Ireland'; We asked for the same in July and she said'; we are going to Alaska'; not even asking WHEN in Oct or July. she's not gonna be gone for the whole month! She hadn't seen our daughter in over 2 months until they came up last friday. They didn't even come for her 1st b-day party!!!! We made a pretty big party which was catered, had games etc and they ';had scheduled a doctor's appt THAT Friday...ooops'; All they did was send a check for $20 on an envelope. They have a house that costs 1/2 a millon dollars. They stayed in OUR home for the weekend and I asked her if she could change Isabella's diaper so I could finish the laundry and she said ';no, I changed it yesterday';. I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. She just refused. She also refused to babysit for her oldest daughter (who has eight kids) this week. Her middle daughter (who has 3 kids) has a daycare center and lives 30 min away from us. I work part time in the evenings and one or 2 afternoons a week. I take her to her house once or twice a week (the afternoons that I have to work only) and she charges us for the babysitting. She charges us the SAME amount she charges the other kids, no discounts to family members whatsoever. We take her there ecause she is still family and we don't feel comfortable taking her to a daycare center where we don't know the people who run it. Please tell me: is this weird, or what? Do any of you go through the same situation? is there any piece of advice you can give me? Should I say something? Should I stay quiet? This is all really hurting my husband and I and is going to hurt our daughter if we don't do something. I'm soooo mad and sad at the same time.I need your advice! Weird in-laws! Strange family!?
No thats not right they should be helping you and your husband out.
id say ur husband is very annoyed that they are acting this way towards you and your child.
If i were you i would not ask them to babysit again at the end of d day they are going to be missing out on their grandchilds lifeI need your advice! Weird in-laws! Strange family!?
You really need to stay in your place. You cannot make your mother in law take care of your baby. when you stated that she hadn't worked in years; what difference does that make, your not taking care of her. She has a right to live her life too. maybe she just don't care to take care of your child because your attitude is not quite what it should be.
You know if she gives no discounts to any family, then why do you think you shouldn't have to pay. Seems to me you need to take a good long look in the mirror, the problem seems to start with you.Your the one hurting your husband and driving a wedge between him and his family. eventually the wedge is gonna cause something to split and the split may be between you and your husband. Stop causing a problem because his family wont cater to you and your child. If you feel so comfortable about her taking care of your child, then she must not be all that bad to you. Stop causing problems; to often mother in laws get a bad rap from a pushy daughter in law that wants to take over the family. I've seen this done to many times Im a counselor.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I really need advice from an attorney in family law or custody issues- Please! there has been child abuse?
Here is the issue:
Husband divorces wife in 2007. They have 2 children both under the age of 6. She moves to New York before the divorce actually finalizes. Divorce date comes and judge can grant divorce, but no custody can be assigned to either party because she is in another state. Xwife has kids and one of the children ends up being sexually abused by xwife's boyfriend. boyfriend goes to jail for 6 years. 6 months later Xwife has new boyfriend and moves him in with kids. Xhusband wants custody of his two kids now, but still lives in another state (MO). What should he do? Does he need to hire an attorney from NY? Can he hire one from his own state? Does he need to hire an attorney at all? What if he can't afford legal fees? What advice can you give him?
If he went and got his kids would he be protected by any law being that there is no custody in place? What are his options?I really need advice from an attorney in family law or custody issues- Please! there has been child abuse?
Find a local attorney who will provide you with the first hour free as a consultation and ask your questions there. This is not the forum to be trying to find the law or your rights and you need to get the children away from the abusive relationship...no matter what the cost is.
Good luck.
Husband divorces wife in 2007. They have 2 children both under the age of 6. She moves to New York before the divorce actually finalizes. Divorce date comes and judge can grant divorce, but no custody can be assigned to either party because she is in another state. Xwife has kids and one of the children ends up being sexually abused by xwife's boyfriend. boyfriend goes to jail for 6 years. 6 months later Xwife has new boyfriend and moves him in with kids. Xhusband wants custody of his two kids now, but still lives in another state (MO). What should he do? Does he need to hire an attorney from NY? Can he hire one from his own state? Does he need to hire an attorney at all? What if he can't afford legal fees? What advice can you give him?
If he went and got his kids would he be protected by any law being that there is no custody in place? What are his options?I really need advice from an attorney in family law or custody issues- Please! there has been child abuse?
Find a local attorney who will provide you with the first hour free as a consultation and ask your questions there. This is not the forum to be trying to find the law or your rights and you need to get the children away from the abusive relationship...no matter what the cost is.
Good luck.
Need advice on interracial dating (and my family don't approve of it). PLEASE help?
I'm a college sr. %26amp; graduate in May. I'm a white, 22 yr. old man. I grew up around tons of diff. people %26amp; cultures.But was NEVER SEEN AS A BAD ';DIFFERENT.'; I want to date interracially(mainly African Americans), but my parents don't agree with it. They are kinda racist, bc they think that white men %26amp; white women should only date each other (everyone with their own race). I TOTALLY DISAGREE because I am not attracted by color nor do I stop liking someone/being attracted to someone because she just happens to be of another skin tone. I'm heavily attracted to black and latin girls,whites don't do much for me. My mom says she don't care really if I dated interracially. She even told a black girl than wanted to go with me tha My stepdad is total opposite. He puts it down %26amp; we have had arguments about it in the past. The thing is, I still live with them (until May), but I want to start living my life my way now. What should I do? Go with my heart or wait a couple of more months? I'm tornNeed advice on interracial dating (and my family don't approve of it). PLEASE help?
Go with your heart. Its time for your family to move into this century and become a little more open-minded.Need advice on interracial dating (and my family don't approve of it). PLEASE help?
Your parents are from another planet. WE ARE all equal, and they have no right telling you who you should marry!
If you like someone and want to pursue something of the opposite race, then do it!
Im hispanic and my husband is white, I think we are perfect together!
Your old enough to make your own choices. If your parents dont approve ever, then thats THEIR fault. Not yours! Pursue your dreams and your life.
Oh my gosh sweetie! That is the sweetest thing ever. I think you should go with your heart. SCREW what anyone has 2 say about who you want to be with. Nobody has the right to be so closeminded and tell you that you shouldn't date anyone because of their color. I think you should tell your mom if she wants to be apart of your life that she needs to accept that you might be with a girl of another race and your stepdad needs to just shut up because he sounds like a real dumbazz! No disrespect to him, though. I am a black girl and I would be proud to have u az my boyfriend if i was in the situation. Because u want ur family to like your future girl or whatever. You need to keep your head up and do what you think is right. Don't let anyone tell you what is right for you, only you know that.
keep ur head up baby boy
xoxo
good luck
youre old enough to do what u want to do..ur not always going to make ur parents see eye to eye with u, but they should accept what u want to do with ur life.
if i were you i would wait until you live on your own. no need to cause issues with your parents.
How will they know who you're dating if you don't bring your date around? If they ask just tell them there is nobody special and that you're dating lots of girls.
so basically it's one of your parents .. in this case i would say go with heart cuz your mom doesnt care and your step father is just racist he's not taking the time to get to know these people for whether they are kind and caring and all that, if this were different i'd say listen to your parents cuz they always knows whats right even when you dont wanna believe them but they've been there and done that before. so if i were you i'd date who ever i wanted to date but if your parents tell you well i should say your mom tells you that the girl is bad news or whatever listen to her she's more than likely right.
go with your heart. its you that you need to make happy. your old enough to be your own man. if they can't be happy for you and what you want, then its time for you to move on and find what makes you happy and fulfills your life.you know how society is today, stand and hold fast to what you want and believe, all the best to ya.
out of sight,out of mind,i think you have to date whomever you like,just don't take em home.variety has alway's been the spice of life,no matter what color you are,we all bleed RED!every race has bad people as well as good ones.good luck!
Remember - The genetic difference between African Americans and Whites is only about a diference of 2-5% ( I don't recall the exact numbers). While raising mixed-racial children may be difficult, many interracial marriages find a way to teach their children about both parts of their heritage. Consider how well you get on with the other person, regardless of other's (even mine) opinion. Good luck....follow your heart, not other people's desires. (Ugh - I just read all the other answers, many agree - follow the heart)
GROW UP!!!!! Your're 22 years old! Do what feels right for YOU!
you are an adult now and have to do what is right for you.. that is part of becoming your own person and knowing yourself.
however, it would be a little different to me if you said you found a girl that you were in love with and she just happend to be black. that is when your love sees no color. when you say i want to date someone BECAUSE they are black or asian or latin-- whatever. then you ARE choosing them specifically for the color of there skin! therefore you DO see color.
don't take this the wrong way. I think that interracial relationships are very much accepted and almost the ';norm'; these days and you should do what makes you happy. but you should look for a woman that has qualities that you love. not just a skin complexion that you like.
To keep the peace at home, I'd say wait a few months. Your parents are your parents and they'll love you no matter what, but living with them is a totally different story. Keep the peace until you're out on your own, then as long as you're TRULY happy with your relationship(s), they'll eventually get over themselves and be happy for you.
sounds like you are doing just because it is a fad and not because you like black women.
Do what you feel is right in your heart. God loves us regardless of race, color, or gender. So, if you love God you must love others. Do what makes you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your in a tough situation...torn between your heart and your parents.
My advice is: Life is to short to try and please everyone and if you find someone that treats you right and makes you happy...then who cares what color their skin is.
Hopefully in time your parents will see that you are truly happy and accept this, but until then and while you are living in their house you should probably avoid bringing that person to their house just out of respect to them and to her.
Good Luck in whatever you do...just make sure that YOU are happy :)
Lots of good advice for you. Leave you parents in the dark ages if that's were they want to stay.
i kno wat u mean my family is like that %26amp; i hate it very much i think its jus wrong but everyone has their own minds ya kno but i say go wit ur heart now life goes on they should jus want u to be happy if they don't want u to date sumone jus cuz of the skin tone than they don't want u to be happy ya kno...but yea
you just answered your own qustions. You graduate in may, concentrate on your school work until then. Also I can see that you dont want to make things difficult at home. Just dont bring these girls to your parents homes. If your dad says somthing about it just ignore him, dont let him get to you, he feels he is superior when you give into him by fighting. Dont worry about it and concentrate on school for a few more months!!!!
Go with your heart, dude! If you like someone, you like someone no matter what color they are. People are just people. If you are planning to leave their home in a few months anyway, they really cannot tell you what to do. You're an adult now. And a college graduate (congrats, btw!!). Live you life as you wish.
Good luck! :-)
Follow your heart. It's your life. You decide who you want to be with. You're on the right track.
Follow your heart. I would respect my parents also, because family is important. If your relationships fail you will always have family. You are young, and I think that you are in a phase right now......but follow your heart.
(Numbers 12:1) And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.
People often refer to the Bible for support that interracial relationship is wrong. Well, if Moses married a Ethiopian (Black) woman and God Blessed it, then why do people today have a problem with it?
Go with your heart. Its time for your family to move into this century and become a little more open-minded.Need advice on interracial dating (and my family don't approve of it). PLEASE help?
Your parents are from another planet. WE ARE all equal, and they have no right telling you who you should marry!
If you like someone and want to pursue something of the opposite race, then do it!
Im hispanic and my husband is white, I think we are perfect together!
Your old enough to make your own choices. If your parents dont approve ever, then thats THEIR fault. Not yours! Pursue your dreams and your life.
Oh my gosh sweetie! That is the sweetest thing ever. I think you should go with your heart. SCREW what anyone has 2 say about who you want to be with. Nobody has the right to be so closeminded and tell you that you shouldn't date anyone because of their color. I think you should tell your mom if she wants to be apart of your life that she needs to accept that you might be with a girl of another race and your stepdad needs to just shut up because he sounds like a real dumbazz! No disrespect to him, though. I am a black girl and I would be proud to have u az my boyfriend if i was in the situation. Because u want ur family to like your future girl or whatever. You need to keep your head up and do what you think is right. Don't let anyone tell you what is right for you, only you know that.
keep ur head up baby boy
xoxo
good luck
youre old enough to do what u want to do..ur not always going to make ur parents see eye to eye with u, but they should accept what u want to do with ur life.
if i were you i would wait until you live on your own. no need to cause issues with your parents.
How will they know who you're dating if you don't bring your date around? If they ask just tell them there is nobody special and that you're dating lots of girls.
so basically it's one of your parents .. in this case i would say go with heart cuz your mom doesnt care and your step father is just racist he's not taking the time to get to know these people for whether they are kind and caring and all that, if this were different i'd say listen to your parents cuz they always knows whats right even when you dont wanna believe them but they've been there and done that before. so if i were you i'd date who ever i wanted to date but if your parents tell you well i should say your mom tells you that the girl is bad news or whatever listen to her she's more than likely right.
go with your heart. its you that you need to make happy. your old enough to be your own man. if they can't be happy for you and what you want, then its time for you to move on and find what makes you happy and fulfills your life.you know how society is today, stand and hold fast to what you want and believe, all the best to ya.
out of sight,out of mind,i think you have to date whomever you like,just don't take em home.variety has alway's been the spice of life,no matter what color you are,we all bleed RED!every race has bad people as well as good ones.good luck!
Remember - The genetic difference between African Americans and Whites is only about a diference of 2-5% ( I don't recall the exact numbers). While raising mixed-racial children may be difficult, many interracial marriages find a way to teach their children about both parts of their heritage. Consider how well you get on with the other person, regardless of other's (even mine) opinion. Good luck....follow your heart, not other people's desires. (Ugh - I just read all the other answers, many agree - follow the heart)
GROW UP!!!!! Your're 22 years old! Do what feels right for YOU!
you are an adult now and have to do what is right for you.. that is part of becoming your own person and knowing yourself.
however, it would be a little different to me if you said you found a girl that you were in love with and she just happend to be black. that is when your love sees no color. when you say i want to date someone BECAUSE they are black or asian or latin-- whatever. then you ARE choosing them specifically for the color of there skin! therefore you DO see color.
don't take this the wrong way. I think that interracial relationships are very much accepted and almost the ';norm'; these days and you should do what makes you happy. but you should look for a woman that has qualities that you love. not just a skin complexion that you like.
To keep the peace at home, I'd say wait a few months. Your parents are your parents and they'll love you no matter what, but living with them is a totally different story. Keep the peace until you're out on your own, then as long as you're TRULY happy with your relationship(s), they'll eventually get over themselves and be happy for you.
sounds like you are doing just because it is a fad and not because you like black women.
Do what you feel is right in your heart. God loves us regardless of race, color, or gender. So, if you love God you must love others. Do what makes you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your in a tough situation...torn between your heart and your parents.
My advice is: Life is to short to try and please everyone and if you find someone that treats you right and makes you happy...then who cares what color their skin is.
Hopefully in time your parents will see that you are truly happy and accept this, but until then and while you are living in their house you should probably avoid bringing that person to their house just out of respect to them and to her.
Good Luck in whatever you do...just make sure that YOU are happy :)
Lots of good advice for you. Leave you parents in the dark ages if that's were they want to stay.
i kno wat u mean my family is like that %26amp; i hate it very much i think its jus wrong but everyone has their own minds ya kno but i say go wit ur heart now life goes on they should jus want u to be happy if they don't want u to date sumone jus cuz of the skin tone than they don't want u to be happy ya kno...but yea
you just answered your own qustions. You graduate in may, concentrate on your school work until then. Also I can see that you dont want to make things difficult at home. Just dont bring these girls to your parents homes. If your dad says somthing about it just ignore him, dont let him get to you, he feels he is superior when you give into him by fighting. Dont worry about it and concentrate on school for a few more months!!!!
Go with your heart, dude! If you like someone, you like someone no matter what color they are. People are just people. If you are planning to leave their home in a few months anyway, they really cannot tell you what to do. You're an adult now. And a college graduate (congrats, btw!!). Live you life as you wish.
Good luck! :-)
Follow your heart. It's your life. You decide who you want to be with. You're on the right track.
Follow your heart. I would respect my parents also, because family is important. If your relationships fail you will always have family. You are young, and I think that you are in a phase right now......but follow your heart.
(Numbers 12:1) And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.
People often refer to the Bible for support that interracial relationship is wrong. Well, if Moses married a Ethiopian (Black) woman and God Blessed it, then why do people today have a problem with it?
Urgent! Need advice fast for a serious family crisis?
OK. My dad found out about a credit card debt my mom has. He would give her household money to buy groceries. Things got expensive, and it went over the allowance, so she had to charge to a credit card. My mom told him that things were expensive, and needed more money. He ignored her, so this is why she is in debt.
So he hit the roof for a few minutes, and it ended. They haven't been speaking to each other, just occasionally ';Hello';, ';Good Morning';. But that's only once or twice a week. It's been 3 1/2 months since this all started.
He's not going to help her one bit, so she will have to find employment. She is currently looking for a job. I am home educated, an independent student, entering Junior year of high school soon. (Continued)Urgent! Need advice fast for a serious family crisis?
Well first I would like to say wow you are so strong and brave, and it's sad that you are the only one trying to save this family, and at your age you should not be responsible for such a serious matter, nor should you be experiencing it. As much as I know you want to help this is too much for you to handle, this is something your parents need to resolve. I am assuming though that this was not the first incident nor will it be the last that that has caused tension for your parents. Really sweetheart this is out of your hands, you should probably talk to them both and tell them to grow up, and the fact that you are the only one making any effort in reconciling THEIR relationship should be enough for them to think long and hard about what they are doing. My parents got divorced when I was young too and it sucked and I just wanted them to be together, I wanted the perfect family, but over time I saw how much happier they were apart and it was the best thing they could have done for eachother and for me and my siblings. All you can do is tell them how you are feeling, but ultimately sometimes what we want isn't always the best solution.Urgent! Need advice fast for a serious family crisis?
Many couples benefit from marriage counseling. Sit down with both of your parents and gently share your fears and concerns. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much your family means to you. Encourage them to get help. Maybe they can work this all out, Just remember,in the end the decision is mom's and dad's. You have to support them if ultimately that's what they choose.
If they both go to counseling, it could help. There really isn't much you can do about it. The problem is all between your parents. I have known other husbands that acted this way. He may be trying to get your mom to get a job. There may be more to this problem than what you know. Good luck and God Bless.
Would you rather they stayed together and he make her miserable for the rest of her life? Your dad sounds like a massive control freak and your mother has ';disappointed'; him and now there is all H E L L to pay.
Be there for your mother and don't make her feel like she has disappointed you, too.
Wow, you're the youngest and you are acting the most mature. Hang in there! Counseling would be good, if you could get them to go. How about getting one or both of them to talk to your preacher? - or maybe you should just talk to your preacher.
A good family counselor is in order here. Convice mom that the two of them should go see one. When mom find a job and start contributing to the household budget dad will start coming around. He is feelin pressure right now.
Your dad has serious control issues. (Which you already know, of course.) Your mom needs to leave. Support her as best you can. Sorry that you have to live thru this. Sucks.
Well things should turn out ok
it might not seem like it now but everything happens for a reason..and hopfully your mom will find a job..or your dad will wise up :]
Pray ..Pray..Pray GOD is still answering prayers.
you are a fine young man with your whole life ahead of you. strictly speaking this is not remotely your problem this is a communication and trust and control and anger issue for each of your parents. in marriage counseling they would be able to learn more about each other and can learn how to cooperate so that there are no surprises like debts and no resentments like not listening.
honey, i am a mother of a son and i have been married a long time. know what you can do to help? keep being the fine young man you are. excell in your schooling and keep looking forward to your fine future, perhaps college? i guarantee your parents will work this out. you, being consistently occupied with your own goals and business helps, more than you know.
really. it will all work out, i feel it will. dont worry.
sweetie whatever is going on between mom and dad it their business. you should not concern yourself with solving their martial issues. you are not equipped to do so. you said yourself dad is ignorant and mom is just tired of his mess. if he cant understand that the cost of the most simplest things have increased and she did what she felt she had to to provide for the family than maybe they should split. but whatever they do it will be better than what they are in now. he wont fix car truck, come on now this is his wife regardless. nor will he assist in the debt that kept him feed, that kept the lights on, that kept the water on. sweetie sounds like they maybe heading for the divorce court, so you need to prepare yourself for it because its coming. you dad need to grow up and mom and dad need to learn how to effectively communicate to each other. GodBless
I've gone through issues with my parents like this before but yours seems to have gone much further. I think all you can do is tell them how you feel. Maybe have a talk with each of them individually and tell them what your feeling about the situation. In the end it's all really up to them. There are probably other underlying issues besides the debt thing so marriage counseling could be an option.
Unfortunately, situations like that of your family's happen all the time. Talk to them. Hope all goes well.
Your parents have some communication problems, did she spend all the money on the visa just on groceries???...check the visa statement again. She probably spent a lot on other things as well. She should of told her husband from the beginning.
There is still hope for them, she really needs to apoligise and tell him that she is sorry and shes looking for a part time job somewhere to pay it off.
Good luck!
keep depending on God what you cn do for your family is pray. God can do great things. Have faith in God he might let things get worse bf they get better %26amp; you might say ok God i've been praying %26amp; coming to you but look at this mess now! God will work in his own time when we can't see it he does. Its not up to us to understand or even know when but God has his hand in it just keep praying. The only way my marriage is still together is bc of God %26amp; my sister all the time would pray for us I didn't know it a the time but now i do. My other sister has gotten back together with her ex hubby bc of God %26amp; it was a bad divorce. Keep talkin to God %26amp; dont give up if you dont get answers right away or the answers that may seem wrong God knows what is needed.
well your mom kinda needs to get out of there it seems like they don't love each other anymore and if they get a divorce it's a good thing don't u want your parents to be happy cuz it doesn't look like there happy together my parents got a divorce when I was 2 if they were together they would be very unhappy if they do get in to marriage couneling it may work if it doesn't well theres nothing you can do about
Hi i don't know if this helps or not but sometimes my parents argue too. You should tell your dad that it wasn't a big deal and maybe bring up something like going out with your family to eat dinner. And I know if your parents think about divorce tell them that u love both of them very much. I know this because i've been through it and i'm about ur age. And maybe u should tell them that they are very lucky to have a nice family and are all safe. I hope this helps.
Your father has decided to live in misery and make everyone around his live in misery as well. . . . He expected your mother to pull a miracle out of her butt. . . and since she didn't, he plans to make her pay and pay big. . . . . well, he didn't provide for his family as he should have. . . . let him stew until you mom gets feed up and decides to leave. . . A person can only live with that attitude for so long. . . ! . . .lipstick gloss
So he hit the roof for a few minutes, and it ended. They haven't been speaking to each other, just occasionally ';Hello';, ';Good Morning';. But that's only once or twice a week. It's been 3 1/2 months since this all started.
He's not going to help her one bit, so she will have to find employment. She is currently looking for a job. I am home educated, an independent student, entering Junior year of high school soon. (Continued)Urgent! Need advice fast for a serious family crisis?
Well first I would like to say wow you are so strong and brave, and it's sad that you are the only one trying to save this family, and at your age you should not be responsible for such a serious matter, nor should you be experiencing it. As much as I know you want to help this is too much for you to handle, this is something your parents need to resolve. I am assuming though that this was not the first incident nor will it be the last that that has caused tension for your parents. Really sweetheart this is out of your hands, you should probably talk to them both and tell them to grow up, and the fact that you are the only one making any effort in reconciling THEIR relationship should be enough for them to think long and hard about what they are doing. My parents got divorced when I was young too and it sucked and I just wanted them to be together, I wanted the perfect family, but over time I saw how much happier they were apart and it was the best thing they could have done for eachother and for me and my siblings. All you can do is tell them how you are feeling, but ultimately sometimes what we want isn't always the best solution.Urgent! Need advice fast for a serious family crisis?
Many couples benefit from marriage counseling. Sit down with both of your parents and gently share your fears and concerns. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much your family means to you. Encourage them to get help. Maybe they can work this all out, Just remember,in the end the decision is mom's and dad's. You have to support them if ultimately that's what they choose.
If they both go to counseling, it could help. There really isn't much you can do about it. The problem is all between your parents. I have known other husbands that acted this way. He may be trying to get your mom to get a job. There may be more to this problem than what you know. Good luck and God Bless.
Would you rather they stayed together and he make her miserable for the rest of her life? Your dad sounds like a massive control freak and your mother has ';disappointed'; him and now there is all H E L L to pay.
Be there for your mother and don't make her feel like she has disappointed you, too.
Wow, you're the youngest and you are acting the most mature. Hang in there! Counseling would be good, if you could get them to go. How about getting one or both of them to talk to your preacher? - or maybe you should just talk to your preacher.
A good family counselor is in order here. Convice mom that the two of them should go see one. When mom find a job and start contributing to the household budget dad will start coming around. He is feelin pressure right now.
Your dad has serious control issues. (Which you already know, of course.) Your mom needs to leave. Support her as best you can. Sorry that you have to live thru this. Sucks.
Well things should turn out ok
it might not seem like it now but everything happens for a reason..and hopfully your mom will find a job..or your dad will wise up :]
Pray ..Pray..Pray GOD is still answering prayers.
you are a fine young man with your whole life ahead of you. strictly speaking this is not remotely your problem this is a communication and trust and control and anger issue for each of your parents. in marriage counseling they would be able to learn more about each other and can learn how to cooperate so that there are no surprises like debts and no resentments like not listening.
honey, i am a mother of a son and i have been married a long time. know what you can do to help? keep being the fine young man you are. excell in your schooling and keep looking forward to your fine future, perhaps college? i guarantee your parents will work this out. you, being consistently occupied with your own goals and business helps, more than you know.
really. it will all work out, i feel it will. dont worry.
sweetie whatever is going on between mom and dad it their business. you should not concern yourself with solving their martial issues. you are not equipped to do so. you said yourself dad is ignorant and mom is just tired of his mess. if he cant understand that the cost of the most simplest things have increased and she did what she felt she had to to provide for the family than maybe they should split. but whatever they do it will be better than what they are in now. he wont fix car truck, come on now this is his wife regardless. nor will he assist in the debt that kept him feed, that kept the lights on, that kept the water on. sweetie sounds like they maybe heading for the divorce court, so you need to prepare yourself for it because its coming. you dad need to grow up and mom and dad need to learn how to effectively communicate to each other. GodBless
I've gone through issues with my parents like this before but yours seems to have gone much further. I think all you can do is tell them how you feel. Maybe have a talk with each of them individually and tell them what your feeling about the situation. In the end it's all really up to them. There are probably other underlying issues besides the debt thing so marriage counseling could be an option.
Unfortunately, situations like that of your family's happen all the time. Talk to them. Hope all goes well.
Your parents have some communication problems, did she spend all the money on the visa just on groceries???...check the visa statement again. She probably spent a lot on other things as well. She should of told her husband from the beginning.
There is still hope for them, she really needs to apoligise and tell him that she is sorry and shes looking for a part time job somewhere to pay it off.
Good luck!
keep depending on God what you cn do for your family is pray. God can do great things. Have faith in God he might let things get worse bf they get better %26amp; you might say ok God i've been praying %26amp; coming to you but look at this mess now! God will work in his own time when we can't see it he does. Its not up to us to understand or even know when but God has his hand in it just keep praying. The only way my marriage is still together is bc of God %26amp; my sister all the time would pray for us I didn't know it a the time but now i do. My other sister has gotten back together with her ex hubby bc of God %26amp; it was a bad divorce. Keep talkin to God %26amp; dont give up if you dont get answers right away or the answers that may seem wrong God knows what is needed.
well your mom kinda needs to get out of there it seems like they don't love each other anymore and if they get a divorce it's a good thing don't u want your parents to be happy cuz it doesn't look like there happy together my parents got a divorce when I was 2 if they were together they would be very unhappy if they do get in to marriage couneling it may work if it doesn't well theres nothing you can do about
Hi i don't know if this helps or not but sometimes my parents argue too. You should tell your dad that it wasn't a big deal and maybe bring up something like going out with your family to eat dinner. And I know if your parents think about divorce tell them that u love both of them very much. I know this because i've been through it and i'm about ur age. And maybe u should tell them that they are very lucky to have a nice family and are all safe. I hope this helps.
Your father has decided to live in misery and make everyone around his live in misery as well. . . . He expected your mother to pull a miracle out of her butt. . . and since she didn't, he plans to make her pay and pay big. . . . . well, he didn't provide for his family as he should have. . . . let him stew until you mom gets feed up and decides to leave. . . A person can only live with that attitude for so long. . . ! . . .
Need some advice from my Dog Section Family?
and i need it NOW. one that doesn't have a pre-existing condition policy.
i had cancer in 2002. and there's a 70 % chance i have some form of skin cancer (just found out 1/2 hr ago). the pre-existing conditions clause kills us.
can anyone reccomend an insurance company (especially if they have additional cancer benefits)?
and i better get some life insurance too?
and besides my 7, 4 legged liabilities that i need to figure out, i need to figure out how to tell my mom if the biopsies come back positive.
she's already almost lost each of her parents this yr and she just had surgery 3 weeks ago to open a blocked artery.
any suggestions for that?
i have no intention of telling anyone other than my sister until the biopsies come back.
Need some advice from my Dog Section Family?
Isis...I'm so sorry. I hope your tests come back negative.
This is an article I found on getting insured with a pre-existing condition:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Health-Insuran鈥?/a>
This is a company that promises to insure...no matter what (though I have not dealt with them directly).
http://www.guaranteed-issue-health-insur鈥?/a>
~As far as your Mom goes...you have to be completely honest with her. I sometimes wonder if my Mom is honest with me about health issues, and I hope so, because I would be devastated to find out that she isn't. Your family loves and will want to support you in your time of need. :)Need some advice from my Dog Section Family?
im sorry to hear that.
what state do you live in? that would really help narrow down the search :)
ADD%26gt; ok i asked my mom about your whole situation, and we have blue cross insurance. and trust me, i didnt have cancer, but i was treated at stanford for a tumor in my cervical area. [thats neck not ';down there';] and it was really expensive and all, but blue cross covered all of it. so im hoping blue cross would be your best bet. and they are all over the country too.
hoping for the best for you :)
So sorry, but insurance companies control life and medical insurance. They are very picky on who they insure and who they will not. I only have hypertension and can't get any medical since I lost my job. So I have an idea of what you are going thru. May God Bless.
don't know of any insurance that will treat a pre existing condition. maybe you can get social security?
as for telling the family the only way to do it is to sit down and do it.
good luck and spook sends you licks.
I am so sorry and I am praying that your biopsy comes back negative. I don't have any suggestions for insurance as most companies seem to be heartless about pre-existing conditions.
have you tried the cancer center treatment of america..... www.cancercenter.com, they may be able to help you out and or treat you. good luck, and i will ay a prayer for you! xoxo
Sorry you're going through this. I have seperate cancer and intensive care policies through AFLAC.
Sorry to here this. I will remember to say a prayer.
check here
http://www.huntsmancancer.org/
I had melanoma removed from my back and its scarey. I go every 6 months for check ups. Heck I have lived in Calif all my life and surfed and beached it daily in the summer and weekends.
Before I was married the company I worked for closed their doors. I called every company and no coverage for pre existing. Medicare or Medical said they would but it was a sky high price. That was 5 yrs ago. Call med-i-cal and see how much. You wioll not be able to get life insurance under your name, but ';R'; can.
Soon after the no medical insurance my husband said lets just do it now and get married why wait. So we did and I got it covered.
Don't worry about your Mom and how to tell her just get positive!
I am contacting and doing some research to help..so don't worry you aren't going to need it.
i had cancer in 2002. and there's a 70 % chance i have some form of skin cancer (just found out 1/2 hr ago). the pre-existing conditions clause kills us.
can anyone reccomend an insurance company (especially if they have additional cancer benefits)?
and i better get some life insurance too?
and besides my 7, 4 legged liabilities that i need to figure out, i need to figure out how to tell my mom if the biopsies come back positive.
she's already almost lost each of her parents this yr and she just had surgery 3 weeks ago to open a blocked artery.
any suggestions for that?
i have no intention of telling anyone other than my sister until the biopsies come back.
Need some advice from my Dog Section Family?
Isis...I'm so sorry. I hope your tests come back negative.
This is an article I found on getting insured with a pre-existing condition:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Health-Insuran鈥?/a>
This is a company that promises to insure...no matter what (though I have not dealt with them directly).
http://www.guaranteed-issue-health-insur鈥?/a>
~As far as your Mom goes...you have to be completely honest with her. I sometimes wonder if my Mom is honest with me about health issues, and I hope so, because I would be devastated to find out that she isn't. Your family loves and will want to support you in your time of need. :)Need some advice from my Dog Section Family?
im sorry to hear that.
what state do you live in? that would really help narrow down the search :)
ADD%26gt; ok i asked my mom about your whole situation, and we have blue cross insurance. and trust me, i didnt have cancer, but i was treated at stanford for a tumor in my cervical area. [thats neck not ';down there';] and it was really expensive and all, but blue cross covered all of it. so im hoping blue cross would be your best bet. and they are all over the country too.
hoping for the best for you :)
So sorry, but insurance companies control life and medical insurance. They are very picky on who they insure and who they will not. I only have hypertension and can't get any medical since I lost my job. So I have an idea of what you are going thru. May God Bless.
don't know of any insurance that will treat a pre existing condition. maybe you can get social security?
as for telling the family the only way to do it is to sit down and do it.
good luck and spook sends you licks.
I am so sorry and I am praying that your biopsy comes back negative. I don't have any suggestions for insurance as most companies seem to be heartless about pre-existing conditions.
have you tried the cancer center treatment of america..... www.cancercenter.com, they may be able to help you out and or treat you. good luck, and i will ay a prayer for you! xoxo
Sorry you're going through this. I have seperate cancer and intensive care policies through AFLAC.
Sorry to here this. I will remember to say a prayer.
check here
http://www.huntsmancancer.org/
I had melanoma removed from my back and its scarey. I go every 6 months for check ups. Heck I have lived in Calif all my life and surfed and beached it daily in the summer and weekends.
Before I was married the company I worked for closed their doors. I called every company and no coverage for pre existing. Medicare or Medical said they would but it was a sky high price. That was 5 yrs ago. Call med-i-cal and see how much. You wioll not be able to get life insurance under your name, but ';R'; can.
Soon after the no medical insurance my husband said lets just do it now and get married why wait. So we did and I got it covered.
Don't worry about your Mom and how to tell her just get positive!
I am contacting and doing some research to help..so don't worry you aren't going to need it.
I need advice for my future.. careers, family, ect.. ?
OK, so I'm going into high school this year. I am quite smart. I am 2 years ahead in math, 1 year ahead in english, and 1 year ahead in science. I took a few high school classes in middle school. I would actually like to become a police officer, then a homicide detective, when I am older. Many people tell me I am too smart to be a police officer, and I should be something else that I can really use my brain for. I would actually really like to be an obstetrician more than a police officer/homicide detective. But an obstetrician must go to college for a very long time, and me and my family can not afford for me to go to college that long. I am going to go to college no matter what I do, I don't really have a choice. I also don't want to go to college very long because I really want to have children, but at a rather young age. I don't want to try to raise a child while I am in college, because I know it will be very difficult and expensive. But I want to start my family early, and not be having children when I'm in my 30's. Do you think I will be able to take college classes in high school and get a head start for college and be able to finish earlier? And I'm still not sure what I want to be, a police officer or obstetrician, or maybe something else. I'm really not sure.I need advice for my future.. careers, family, ect.. ?
dont listen to anyone else just do what you wanna do live your life to the fullest and please in return answer my question! i rellly did helpI need advice for my future.. careers, family, ect.. ?
Chill out a bit, you're only going into high school so you have time to figure it out. If you really want to be an obstetrician then go for it, despite any financial set backs. By the sounds of it, you'll have a lot of scholarship offers. You can take college classes in high school, but I only know of people taking basic classes at the community college. Also, I think that would probably be pretty difficult, keeping up with all your advanced high school classes as well as college classes. As far as starting a family, you don't have to have a family when you're like 20-25 a lot of people are still in college, getting their careers started at that age. The human life expectancy has gotten older, and people have gradually started having children later, don't worry about it. It will all play out in time, you're only going into high school so relax a little bit.
dont listen to anyone else just do what you wanna do live your life to the fullest and please in return answer my question! i rellly did helpI need advice for my future.. careers, family, ect.. ?
Chill out a bit, you're only going into high school so you have time to figure it out. If you really want to be an obstetrician then go for it, despite any financial set backs. By the sounds of it, you'll have a lot of scholarship offers. You can take college classes in high school, but I only know of people taking basic classes at the community college. Also, I think that would probably be pretty difficult, keeping up with all your advanced high school classes as well as college classes. As far as starting a family, you don't have to have a family when you're like 20-25 a lot of people are still in college, getting their careers started at that age. The human life expectancy has gotten older, and people have gradually started having children later, don't worry about it. It will all play out in time, you're only going into high school so relax a little bit.
Looking for advice to tell parents and family that I'm pregnant!?
So here's the deal. I am 5 weeks pregnant. Both my dad and my husband's dad have birthdays this week so we are wanting to tell them at their respective birthday celebrations. I always buy my dad KC Chiefs stuff, so I bought a pair of itty bitty Chiefs socks... I'm so excited.
Anyway, my question is about my sisters. They are 15 and 16, and we are fairly close for being 7 years apart in age. My prediciment is if I should tell them when I tell the rest of my family for two reasons. One, I think it would be kind of fun to try to plan something special to tell them (differently from finding out when Dad opens his present). Two, because part of me is a bit worried about them being able to keep it a secret for now as they probably don't understand how worrisome I can be at times about if the baby is going to be ok, especially since I haven't had my first doc appointment yet. But, I don't want to them to feel left out by not telling them!Looking for advice to tell parents and family that I'm pregnant!?
I have the same problem. If you are that close to your sisters I would tell them, but stress how worried you are and not to tell anyone until your first visit is over. If you are still worried tell them not to say anything until you are past the first trimester. Again stress to them that this is very important to you and you don't want everyone knowing. I hope that helped. Good Luck. and CONGRATS!!!!Looking for advice to tell parents and family that I'm pregnant!?
If you're as close with them as you say, it shouldn't be any problem with them keeping this secret of yours.
watch how Juno did it.
i think they would prob love for you to tell them first and diff.. maybe just a day or so ahead so if they do slip its not to big of a deal.. to cool congrats and have fun!!!
Sometimes its good not to tell your sisters everything, so if I was in your shoes I would wait until the party to let everyone one at the same time. Just think about if you told your sisters and they would of got mad at you for something that you said then they just may let the father's know about you. So to me do the right thing and wait.
Anyway, my question is about my sisters. They are 15 and 16, and we are fairly close for being 7 years apart in age. My prediciment is if I should tell them when I tell the rest of my family for two reasons. One, I think it would be kind of fun to try to plan something special to tell them (differently from finding out when Dad opens his present). Two, because part of me is a bit worried about them being able to keep it a secret for now as they probably don't understand how worrisome I can be at times about if the baby is going to be ok, especially since I haven't had my first doc appointment yet. But, I don't want to them to feel left out by not telling them!Looking for advice to tell parents and family that I'm pregnant!?
I have the same problem. If you are that close to your sisters I would tell them, but stress how worried you are and not to tell anyone until your first visit is over. If you are still worried tell them not to say anything until you are past the first trimester. Again stress to them that this is very important to you and you don't want everyone knowing. I hope that helped. Good Luck. and CONGRATS!!!!Looking for advice to tell parents and family that I'm pregnant!?
If you're as close with them as you say, it shouldn't be any problem with them keeping this secret of yours.
watch how Juno did it.
i think they would prob love for you to tell them first and diff.. maybe just a day or so ahead so if they do slip its not to big of a deal.. to cool congrats and have fun!!!
Sometimes its good not to tell your sisters everything, so if I was in your shoes I would wait until the party to let everyone one at the same time. Just think about if you told your sisters and they would of got mad at you for something that you said then they just may let the father's know about you. So to me do the right thing and wait.
Much needed advice on adult with disfunctional family?
It would take an several pages to explain how my family is and the disfunction that has existed since day one. I will try and as briefly as possible explain the situation. This is just one in many issues, however this time I sincerley need advice due to that this is getting to much for me to be involved in at all, do I need to cut all ties?
Here is the situation:
disfunctional family/no physical abuse growing up, basically mental abuse, and exposed to adult situations that I should of never been part of.
Childhood isses as to where my own mother let a family member torment my in a excessivly abusive verbal manner. She never put a stop to it in fact made excuses for my brother who absolutley made my life pretty much misreable for years. She ALLOWED this to happen to me growing up. (I do not mean normal kid teasing it was way beyond that about health issues I had, life threatening issus)
This same brother is now living with my mother, after my father died he moved in her home. He does not work. He has a drug habit that my mother gives him money for, she buys all his nessicities. He has never held a steady job.
This brother of mine is into some very wierd things in my opinion and opinion of every family member that I have. My mother defends and condones and contributes to his behavior.. this is a 36 year old man.
The issue at this point is that he has done somthing so morally wrong that I am even too embarresed to write about it, basically he has befriended a murderer that killed a little girl years back. He corresponds though mail with this person.
My issue is that I am apalled by this. I am appalled that my own mother would defend him and tell me that it is just letters, and that the convicted fellon of murder is not a bad person, was just mixxed up. I do not see it that way.. the person took a little girls life.. how can my mother as a mother and grandmother herself accept that he is carring on with these type of people.
I think it is so totally wrong for a mother ( my mother ) to condone this, she knows how totally upset our entire family was when this murder occured years back.
How can I allow myself to be a part of her life when she is enabeling, contributing to and allowing his sick behavior under her own roof. I do not know with a clear consious if I can go against my beliefs and associate with a mother who sees nothing wrong with his behavior. (also this person, my brother has made threats to her, to me, my sister, my kids)
My moms only excuse is '; she doesnt know how to make him move out of her home... ( that seems pretty easy to me... what about packing his clothes and putting them outside and changing the locks)
never the less she has willed all her money and home to him after her death....
Do you agree that I should just cut ties with her due to I can not with a clear consious associate with someone who condones his behavior?
In addition my mother is the number one trouble maker in family, she talks really bad about me to others and talks horrible about other family to me.. she is continually keeping each family member mad at each other.. she in fact says horrible things about even the kids in the family. This woman (my mother ) is a gossip to each and everyone she knows. I love my mother but I can not put myself and my children in this damaging behavior anymore.
Please give me some good solid advice, this is effecting my panic attacks that I have had for years due to childhood trauma from my family.
Am I wrong for just cutting all ties? Please help.Much needed advice on adult with disfunctional family?
CUT THE TIES WITH YOUR FAMILY!!!!! Your mother is never going to stop enabling her son. She is mentally unstable, and so is your brother. Trust me, you are better off without poisonous people like that.
You should also consider therapy for the years of abuse you went through. I think it would really help you.Much needed advice on adult with disfunctional family?
I don't believe you're wrong for cutting the ties here, I most definitely would.
you should of cut ties years ago.
If one of my siblings was doing that, I would call the police, my sister is special-ed, so she wouldn't do that. But call the police, I wouldn't care if anyone got mad at me, I would also talk to my mother upfront and tell her how I felt about this situation.
Here is the situation:
disfunctional family/no physical abuse growing up, basically mental abuse, and exposed to adult situations that I should of never been part of.
Childhood isses as to where my own mother let a family member torment my in a excessivly abusive verbal manner. She never put a stop to it in fact made excuses for my brother who absolutley made my life pretty much misreable for years. She ALLOWED this to happen to me growing up. (I do not mean normal kid teasing it was way beyond that about health issues I had, life threatening issus)
This same brother is now living with my mother, after my father died he moved in her home. He does not work. He has a drug habit that my mother gives him money for, she buys all his nessicities. He has never held a steady job.
This brother of mine is into some very wierd things in my opinion and opinion of every family member that I have. My mother defends and condones and contributes to his behavior.. this is a 36 year old man.
The issue at this point is that he has done somthing so morally wrong that I am even too embarresed to write about it, basically he has befriended a murderer that killed a little girl years back. He corresponds though mail with this person.
My issue is that I am apalled by this. I am appalled that my own mother would defend him and tell me that it is just letters, and that the convicted fellon of murder is not a bad person, was just mixxed up. I do not see it that way.. the person took a little girls life.. how can my mother as a mother and grandmother herself accept that he is carring on with these type of people.
I think it is so totally wrong for a mother ( my mother ) to condone this, she knows how totally upset our entire family was when this murder occured years back.
How can I allow myself to be a part of her life when she is enabeling, contributing to and allowing his sick behavior under her own roof. I do not know with a clear consious if I can go against my beliefs and associate with a mother who sees nothing wrong with his behavior. (also this person, my brother has made threats to her, to me, my sister, my kids)
My moms only excuse is '; she doesnt know how to make him move out of her home... ( that seems pretty easy to me... what about packing his clothes and putting them outside and changing the locks)
never the less she has willed all her money and home to him after her death....
Do you agree that I should just cut ties with her due to I can not with a clear consious associate with someone who condones his behavior?
In addition my mother is the number one trouble maker in family, she talks really bad about me to others and talks horrible about other family to me.. she is continually keeping each family member mad at each other.. she in fact says horrible things about even the kids in the family. This woman (my mother ) is a gossip to each and everyone she knows. I love my mother but I can not put myself and my children in this damaging behavior anymore.
Please give me some good solid advice, this is effecting my panic attacks that I have had for years due to childhood trauma from my family.
Am I wrong for just cutting all ties? Please help.Much needed advice on adult with disfunctional family?
CUT THE TIES WITH YOUR FAMILY!!!!! Your mother is never going to stop enabling her son. She is mentally unstable, and so is your brother. Trust me, you are better off without poisonous people like that.
You should also consider therapy for the years of abuse you went through. I think it would really help you.Much needed advice on adult with disfunctional family?
I don't believe you're wrong for cutting the ties here, I most definitely would.
you should of cut ties years ago.
If one of my siblings was doing that, I would call the police, my sister is special-ed, so she wouldn't do that. But call the police, I wouldn't care if anyone got mad at me, I would also talk to my mother upfront and tell her how I felt about this situation.
I need advice and opinions about my family...please help me?
im am 23, i am planning a wedding with my fiance who is almost 30. we've been together for several years now and we feel this is the right time for marriage. my parents however are very unhappy with my decision of marriage and giving me a hard time about it. they are not helping me with anything, they suck their teeth when i bring it up. they say i am too young and that i just graduated college and that i should wait....they are really hurting my feelings. i do not have a close relationship with my family, and things like this are why i cant stand them. what should i do? should i feel bad? or just suck it up till im married and go my merry way.I need advice and opinions about my family...please help me?
I am sorry you are experiencing these attitudes and behaviors from your family members. You must simply follow your heart with your mind open. You are a college educated woman you are capable of critical thinking. Step outside of yourself and think about what is best for you. If this is behavior that is consistent with who they are; certainly do not expect any miracle changes now. It would be nice; but not likely. Don't allow them to ruin your wedding day. If this is the man you are in love with. If you are happy and ready to marry this man; and you feel he is the one; it doesn't matter what anyone has to say. Live your life and enjoy every good thing life has to offer. Congratulations.I need advice and opinions about my family...please help me?
congratulations! you are not to young i think you are just about the right age, and you have not rushed into it. just carry on and have a wonderful day ignore the negative feelings if you love each other that's all you need. when you are married they will either accept it or not and then worry about what you will do but at the moment be selfish and enjoy the preparation for your wedding and forget about the negative side of your family.
I think you should just follow your heart. You're not THAT young, right? It's young, but allright I guess. I think that perhaps you should consider the consequences of being married, what you think marriage is all about. If you are ABSOLUTELY sure about it, you should go for it. Feeling bad never helped anyone. You could tell your parents how you feel about them not accepting your 'wish' to get married and then ask them what it makes them feel knowing their daughter might be getting married. How they feel personally about the deal.
Try sitting them down and telling them how you feel. Tell them that you respect their opinion, but that YOU feel this is the right thing for you to do, and tell them you'd really appreciate their support. Family is supposed to stick together.
So don't feel bad because they don't agree with it - parents will be parents. But try to work it out with them.
Tell your parents that they are hurting your feelings. If they still act this way then you really know your feelings do not matter to them. Let them know this is what you want and your fiance makes you happy. Tell them that if this turns out to be a mistake that it is your mistake. They should stand behind you and love you no matter what
well if you aren't that close to your family they obviously don't know what you need. but if you feel that you are ready to get married then i feel you should do it but don't get upset they tell you those things because they are just looking out for safety and well being. you should take what they say into consideration but also do what you think is best. just try not to make any hasty decisions.
First of all... you Mother is NEVER going to be happy with your choice in a mate for life.
Second of all... I agree with them I thin that 23 is way t young to get married. I Did it at a very young age and regret it every day.
I think you should wait until at least 25, when you have your career in place and will not have to worry about a man keeping you from fulfilling your dreams!
U have to do what is best for you. Familie may not agree with decisions that we make, but u and your boyfriend are grown. Whatever decision you make you have to live with it. Tell ur family that u love them but it is ur decision to make and not theirs.
You are 23 and you are old enough to make your own decisions. If you and your fiance' feel that this is the next step for both of you in the relationship then go for it!
you are your own person now and you make your own choices they will love you regardless they are your family. they will get over it
i was 19 when i married my 27 yr old fiance. my family too wasnt too happy about it. but once they learned i was serious and was going to get married no matter what they said they backed off and began to help me out. me and my husband have now been married almost 4 years. we now have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. if i had stopped and listened to my family i wouldnt have the wonderful little family of my own that i had always wanted. do not let other people try to make you live your life as they want. it is you who will deal with all the consequences that you make not them. if in 10 yrs they are saying the same thing what will you do? you will have wasted 10 yrs of not being married and not having children or a family just because you decided not to go with your heart,and rather listen to their opinions. i am now 22 and i am so glad that i followed my heart. get married be happy, and prove them all wrong. only you know what is best for YOU
i can tell you that even though parents think your born to please them, the desision that you make falls back on you, not them. if you try to make everyone else happy you wont be happy! i have a boyfreind that is older than me to and my mom always flips but i stick up for it cuz its something i belive in! so if you think your ready then go for it you can still finish school as long as your with someone who wants the best for you! there trying to bring you down so you'll change your mind, don't let that hurt you! they have to relize they can't live your life for you. sooner or later the'll come around and if not then dont worry about it thats the way it was ment to be! so follow your hart and go for it let people talk! there is always going to be someone some where tring to bring you down, keep your head up and dont listen to them! you cant make others happy if your not happy! i think if it feels right go for it no matter what!
If you are 23 and out of college - Get a job - then move out and get a place of your own. Make sure that you have a job that can support you. Then you can get married when you want. Is it the marriage they're opposed to - or the person you want to marry? consider their reasons - because they may have credence. Otherwise - save money until you have enough to put on the wedding that you want - or go to the courthouse, get married - then have a party --or not.
However, if you are expecting them to foot the bills for your wedding to someone they don't approve of -- you're deluding yourself.
LOL i just watched a show that was like your situation yesterday! Well you should confront your family about the way you feel but also tell them that it is your decision and that you are a grown up now. It is your choice. On the other hand maybe you should look into your wedding but hold off since you just graduated to look over your life and standards and to make sure that it isn't just the only choice for you but for the people in your life who make it special. just be upfront about it and make sure that you really feel in your heart that it is what you want because this is a life long commitment that you are going to have to trust your heart! Hope this helped!!
Although you may not be close to your family they may be acting this way because they really are concerned that you may be making a bad decision and wat you to have a life before you dedicate it to someone else. You however, need to follow your heart and if this is what you really want you need to assure them that at 23 or 32 this is what you want. If they choose not to support you that's fine...this is your life and you have to live by your rules. Just make sure you aren't giving them an I told you so for later. My family is like that and believe me it always sucks hard when they win. I hope you are the winner by the way :)
I am sorry you are experiencing these attitudes and behaviors from your family members. You must simply follow your heart with your mind open. You are a college educated woman you are capable of critical thinking. Step outside of yourself and think about what is best for you. If this is behavior that is consistent with who they are; certainly do not expect any miracle changes now. It would be nice; but not likely. Don't allow them to ruin your wedding day. If this is the man you are in love with. If you are happy and ready to marry this man; and you feel he is the one; it doesn't matter what anyone has to say. Live your life and enjoy every good thing life has to offer. Congratulations.I need advice and opinions about my family...please help me?
congratulations! you are not to young i think you are just about the right age, and you have not rushed into it. just carry on and have a wonderful day ignore the negative feelings if you love each other that's all you need. when you are married they will either accept it or not and then worry about what you will do but at the moment be selfish and enjoy the preparation for your wedding and forget about the negative side of your family.
I think you should just follow your heart. You're not THAT young, right? It's young, but allright I guess. I think that perhaps you should consider the consequences of being married, what you think marriage is all about. If you are ABSOLUTELY sure about it, you should go for it. Feeling bad never helped anyone. You could tell your parents how you feel about them not accepting your 'wish' to get married and then ask them what it makes them feel knowing their daughter might be getting married. How they feel personally about the deal.
Try sitting them down and telling them how you feel. Tell them that you respect their opinion, but that YOU feel this is the right thing for you to do, and tell them you'd really appreciate their support. Family is supposed to stick together.
So don't feel bad because they don't agree with it - parents will be parents. But try to work it out with them.
Tell your parents that they are hurting your feelings. If they still act this way then you really know your feelings do not matter to them. Let them know this is what you want and your fiance makes you happy. Tell them that if this turns out to be a mistake that it is your mistake. They should stand behind you and love you no matter what
well if you aren't that close to your family they obviously don't know what you need. but if you feel that you are ready to get married then i feel you should do it but don't get upset they tell you those things because they are just looking out for safety and well being. you should take what they say into consideration but also do what you think is best. just try not to make any hasty decisions.
First of all... you Mother is NEVER going to be happy with your choice in a mate for life.
Second of all... I agree with them I thin that 23 is way t young to get married. I Did it at a very young age and regret it every day.
I think you should wait until at least 25, when you have your career in place and will not have to worry about a man keeping you from fulfilling your dreams!
U have to do what is best for you. Familie may not agree with decisions that we make, but u and your boyfriend are grown. Whatever decision you make you have to live with it. Tell ur family that u love them but it is ur decision to make and not theirs.
You are 23 and you are old enough to make your own decisions. If you and your fiance' feel that this is the next step for both of you in the relationship then go for it!
you are your own person now and you make your own choices they will love you regardless they are your family. they will get over it
i was 19 when i married my 27 yr old fiance. my family too wasnt too happy about it. but once they learned i was serious and was going to get married no matter what they said they backed off and began to help me out. me and my husband have now been married almost 4 years. we now have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. if i had stopped and listened to my family i wouldnt have the wonderful little family of my own that i had always wanted. do not let other people try to make you live your life as they want. it is you who will deal with all the consequences that you make not them. if in 10 yrs they are saying the same thing what will you do? you will have wasted 10 yrs of not being married and not having children or a family just because you decided not to go with your heart,and rather listen to their opinions. i am now 22 and i am so glad that i followed my heart. get married be happy, and prove them all wrong. only you know what is best for YOU
i can tell you that even though parents think your born to please them, the desision that you make falls back on you, not them. if you try to make everyone else happy you wont be happy! i have a boyfreind that is older than me to and my mom always flips but i stick up for it cuz its something i belive in! so if you think your ready then go for it you can still finish school as long as your with someone who wants the best for you! there trying to bring you down so you'll change your mind, don't let that hurt you! they have to relize they can't live your life for you. sooner or later the'll come around and if not then dont worry about it thats the way it was ment to be! so follow your hart and go for it let people talk! there is always going to be someone some where tring to bring you down, keep your head up and dont listen to them! you cant make others happy if your not happy! i think if it feels right go for it no matter what!
If you are 23 and out of college - Get a job - then move out and get a place of your own. Make sure that you have a job that can support you. Then you can get married when you want. Is it the marriage they're opposed to - or the person you want to marry? consider their reasons - because they may have credence. Otherwise - save money until you have enough to put on the wedding that you want - or go to the courthouse, get married - then have a party --or not.
However, if you are expecting them to foot the bills for your wedding to someone they don't approve of -- you're deluding yourself.
LOL i just watched a show that was like your situation yesterday! Well you should confront your family about the way you feel but also tell them that it is your decision and that you are a grown up now. It is your choice. On the other hand maybe you should look into your wedding but hold off since you just graduated to look over your life and standards and to make sure that it isn't just the only choice for you but for the people in your life who make it special. just be upfront about it and make sure that you really feel in your heart that it is what you want because this is a life long commitment that you are going to have to trust your heart! Hope this helped!!
Although you may not be close to your family they may be acting this way because they really are concerned that you may be making a bad decision and wat you to have a life before you dedicate it to someone else. You however, need to follow your heart and if this is what you really want you need to assure them that at 23 or 32 this is what you want. If they choose not to support you that's fine...this is your life and you have to live by your rules. Just make sure you aren't giving them an I told you so for later. My family is like that and believe me it always sucks hard when they win. I hope you are the winner by the way :)
ANY advice on adoptees locating biological family.... i'm giving up!?
I was adopted immediately after I was born. I was never really curious about my biological parents until I found out more about them and why I was adopted. I was the result of an affair. My mother couldn't keep me but she ended up marrying my biological father 3 years after I was born. I know I have a half sister who is 5 years older then me. I would love to know if I have any full biological siblings. My parents are very supportive of me trying to find them but the issues is I was born in Seattle. My records are sealed. I can't find out ANYTHING. No names. Nothing. Has anyone had this problem and is there ANY advice or help you can give me. I was born July 31, 1985 at Swedish Hospital. If anyone could help or give me suggestions that would be great. I feel like there is some part of me missing and I have to find it! Thanks again!ANY advice on adoptees locating biological family.... i'm giving up!?
I did a little searching online and found the records department for Washington and in the FAQ's this is what they had. If you haven't tried it I think it would be worth a try.
I was born and adopted in Washington State, how can I get my original birth certificate?
In the State of Washington, adoption records are sealed. One possibility would be to hire a ';confidential intermediary'; to assist you in your searching for your birth parents. Contact the King County Superior Court Adoption Service at 206-296-9350 for information. They are located in the King County Courthouse, 516 Third Avenue, Room W-280, Seattle, WA 98104.lipstick gloss
I did a little searching online and found the records department for Washington and in the FAQ's this is what they had. If you haven't tried it I think it would be worth a try.
I was born and adopted in Washington State, how can I get my original birth certificate?
In the State of Washington, adoption records are sealed. One possibility would be to hire a ';confidential intermediary'; to assist you in your searching for your birth parents. Contact the King County Superior Court Adoption Service at 206-296-9350 for information. They are located in the King County Courthouse, 516 Third Avenue, Room W-280, Seattle, WA 98104.
Any family law attorneys out there? I need advice.?
My husband and i have joint custody of his 8yr old son that he had in his previous marriage. Our son claims to have seen drugs in his mother's home. We called CPS and they spoke with our son and he told them the same thing. The problem is that the CPS investigator always alerts the mother that she is coming out to investigate her home, so by the time the investigator shows up at her home, her home is drug free. Another thing, she is currently on probation for prescription fraud abuse, and our son states to have in his possession at her house a couple of pills. We called law enforcement and they retrieved those pills from her home. Now that she's in the hot seat she's making up stories about us. What do we need to do to gain full custody without having to pay a high price for an attorney?Any family law attorneys out there? I need advice.?
well youd have to testify aganist her, if she goes to jail for drug possesion then the legal custody of the child should be transfered straight to his dad, since he is blood related,
i recommend to tesify using the argument that she endangers the childs life, since she might also force him to use drugs..
hope it helpsAny family law attorneys out there? I need advice.?
Please do not take this the wrong way at all but it's important to keep in mind that your husband has joint custody with his ex-wife. You do not have joint custody - they do. I know this sounds horrible and harsh and that is not at all how I intend it. I speak from experience, you need an atty. Your husband should, unless he has a reason to find a new one, contact the attorney that represented him when the custody/parenting agreement was drafted during the divorce for advice. He will however be better served contacting his atty and an atty can file a motion for temporary visitation restrictions until a hearing can be had to straighten out what is going on here. You will need to have as many supporting affidavits from people who have directly witnessed this endangerment to the child.
You are really going to need a lawyer for sure and be careful this is about the child here.
have they questioned the 8 year old? He is the one that has stated seeing the narcotics and he is the one who would know what she does with them. has she harmed him in any way? what are her living conditions? If you can disprove her credibility a judge will most likely side with you in a custody case. You can also try proving that she is in unfit mother, request her to do random drug screenings and if she fails set up a stipulation that you get full custody of the child until she can be retested and the situation can be investigated. You might also petition for full custody and try to work it out with the arbitrator before moving into a full on custody battle. Good luck and i hope it all works out
Talk to the courts about issuing a drug test for all parties involved. Then you would not need to do anything and your husband would be awarded termpoary full custody, which is better than nothing. During that period just build your case. Document everything. I mean everything that happens on any given day~write it down even if it is small write it down
Good luck
well youd have to testify aganist her, if she goes to jail for drug possesion then the legal custody of the child should be transfered straight to his dad, since he is blood related,
i recommend to tesify using the argument that she endangers the childs life, since she might also force him to use drugs..
hope it helpsAny family law attorneys out there? I need advice.?
Please do not take this the wrong way at all but it's important to keep in mind that your husband has joint custody with his ex-wife. You do not have joint custody - they do. I know this sounds horrible and harsh and that is not at all how I intend it. I speak from experience, you need an atty. Your husband should, unless he has a reason to find a new one, contact the attorney that represented him when the custody/parenting agreement was drafted during the divorce for advice. He will however be better served contacting his atty and an atty can file a motion for temporary visitation restrictions until a hearing can be had to straighten out what is going on here. You will need to have as many supporting affidavits from people who have directly witnessed this endangerment to the child.
You are really going to need a lawyer for sure and be careful this is about the child here.
have they questioned the 8 year old? He is the one that has stated seeing the narcotics and he is the one who would know what she does with them. has she harmed him in any way? what are her living conditions? If you can disprove her credibility a judge will most likely side with you in a custody case. You can also try proving that she is in unfit mother, request her to do random drug screenings and if she fails set up a stipulation that you get full custody of the child until she can be retested and the situation can be investigated. You might also petition for full custody and try to work it out with the arbitrator before moving into a full on custody battle. Good luck and i hope it all works out
Talk to the courts about issuing a drug test for all parties involved. Then you would not need to do anything and your husband would be awarded termpoary full custody, which is better than nothing. During that period just build your case. Document everything. I mean everything that happens on any given day~write it down even if it is small write it down
Good luck
Please give advice; Not sure how to approach situation with a troubled family member?
I am 19 years old %26amp; my cuz is 16. We have been close all our lives... Recently we spent some time 2gehter %26amp; i have found he has changed. He is VERY angry, and is getting ready (meaning he has yet to do anything, to my knowledge) to act on this anger thru means of stealing, etc.
He is living with his younger bro in a single parent home (only his mom) and sees his dad SOMETIMES; however his dad more often than not refuses to see them... He has CONFIDED in me some ... things?...and,
My question here is, how do i reach him? I know i should talk with his mother but what are some resources for single mothers w/ kids who are deeply angry? I can relate to the pain of life, sure, but what good is that if i cant help him get out?
I'm not sure how to approach this situation without making it worse; however if something were 2 happen and i could have prevented it, i would never 4give myself.
Any thoughts or advice? Maybe something I could even share w/ his mom? Please help... Thnx!Please give advice; Not sure how to approach situation with a troubled family member?
Did his mom %26amp; dad have a bad divorce? In most divorces the kids are the ones that suffer the most. Since from what you said, the father refuses to see them, the most logicial answer would be to talk with your cousin %26amp; his mom together. Don't bring out everything that your cousin has told you because he won't trust you again, but try to get them to talk together. Telling the mother by her self won't help the problem either. Probably best for you to talk to them to together. Hope things work out.Please give advice; Not sure how to approach situation with a troubled family member?
If you are fearing for the safety of others and or the future of ur cousin you should go to his mom.Ask her to sit down and talk to you and just explain your concern. you dont have to expose what he has confided in you just give her the jist of things. And maybe even ask her to not tell him that you said anything. But do ask her to try to keep an eye on him and try to pay more attention to see if she notices what you are saying. if that doesnt work or even if it does still voice ur concern to your own family. they may be able to speak to hiim or help him out!! Your cousin may get upset but they will def thank you later when you saved them from ruining their life!! Hope i could help!!
You're in a situation where you can betray his trust and tell someone what he told you in confidence, or try to reach him on your own. The second option probably won't work, however. If he's set on doing something stupid, he'll probably do it.
My co-worker has the best theory about things like this. Would you rather see him get in some trouble at home now and NOT end up hurt/in jail or worse, or have the second option happen and regret it forever?
Start with your school counselor. Tell her what you know, and that you're concerned and want to know what you can do to help him. He or she can either help you have the conversation with his mom, or tell you of some places they can go for family counseling.
If that's not an option, then talk to his mom now about your concerns, and tell her how worried you are about him. If you're in a bigger city there will always be counseling options available. It'll just take work to find them.
He is living with his younger bro in a single parent home (only his mom) and sees his dad SOMETIMES; however his dad more often than not refuses to see them... He has CONFIDED in me some ... things?...and,
My question here is, how do i reach him? I know i should talk with his mother but what are some resources for single mothers w/ kids who are deeply angry? I can relate to the pain of life, sure, but what good is that if i cant help him get out?
I'm not sure how to approach this situation without making it worse; however if something were 2 happen and i could have prevented it, i would never 4give myself.
Any thoughts or advice? Maybe something I could even share w/ his mom? Please help... Thnx!Please give advice; Not sure how to approach situation with a troubled family member?
Did his mom %26amp; dad have a bad divorce? In most divorces the kids are the ones that suffer the most. Since from what you said, the father refuses to see them, the most logicial answer would be to talk with your cousin %26amp; his mom together. Don't bring out everything that your cousin has told you because he won't trust you again, but try to get them to talk together. Telling the mother by her self won't help the problem either. Probably best for you to talk to them to together. Hope things work out.Please give advice; Not sure how to approach situation with a troubled family member?
If you are fearing for the safety of others and or the future of ur cousin you should go to his mom.Ask her to sit down and talk to you and just explain your concern. you dont have to expose what he has confided in you just give her the jist of things. And maybe even ask her to not tell him that you said anything. But do ask her to try to keep an eye on him and try to pay more attention to see if she notices what you are saying. if that doesnt work or even if it does still voice ur concern to your own family. they may be able to speak to hiim or help him out!! Your cousin may get upset but they will def thank you later when you saved them from ruining their life!! Hope i could help!!
You're in a situation where you can betray his trust and tell someone what he told you in confidence, or try to reach him on your own. The second option probably won't work, however. If he's set on doing something stupid, he'll probably do it.
My co-worker has the best theory about things like this. Would you rather see him get in some trouble at home now and NOT end up hurt/in jail or worse, or have the second option happen and regret it forever?
Start with your school counselor. Tell her what you know, and that you're concerned and want to know what you can do to help him. He or she can either help you have the conversation with his mom, or tell you of some places they can go for family counseling.
If that's not an option, then talk to his mom now about your concerns, and tell her how worried you are about him. If you're in a bigger city there will always be counseling options available. It'll just take work to find them.
I have been left some money in a will, but my family all want some, any advice?
I have been left 拢500, thats it. I have just left university and moved into a house with my partner. we have tons of student debts and rent to pat etc. people know this, the thing is,my mum, who is mainly horrible with me, wants 拢100. My dad, who is rich already, wants me to put 拢100 to a holiday for him, then there is everybody else who doesnt usually bother with me wanting some as others are getting some.
I have the intentions of using the 拢500 to pass my driving test quickly, as I travel 2 hours per day to work by bus and train. The thing is, both parents are getting snotty about this as they want some.
I wouldnt mind, but i am skint and they have 拢1000s. What do I doI have been left some money in a will, but my family all want some, any advice?
This happens all the time!!!! it happened in my family. people come crawling out of the cracks just for a little bit of ur gold.
i suggest if u are ever left any money in the future dont tell anyone %26amp; with ur current situation tell them they are parasites and to f** off. seriously, its pathetic they even ask when they know u have been studying and with current debts, and as for ur parents they should know much better. should u even call them parents??
i know this is harsh but this is the only way to make them back off. u seem like u are a sincere kind person and others are just trying to take advantage of u.I have been left some money in a will, but my family all want some, any advice?
Simply say, it was the wish of so and so, for me to have this money. If you honored his/her wishes you would not be coming to me with this. I already have plans on using this money to pass my driving test quickly. Go death harvest some other relative whose wishes you repect less than your own greed! After saying all that, just walk away and never repeat yourself again.
DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT........... I F THERE IS NO POSSIBILITY TO SHARE EXPLAIN TO YOUR FAMILY IF THEY ARE GOING TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU PASS OUT THE MONEY AND YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT.......... ALL ICAN SAY IS DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...
dnt give,it's rightfully yours.
Dont give it
spend it on ya driving lessons,get it over quick..
it was left to you not them so keep it
Really, families and money don't mix - not even in death. It's completely absurd for them to ask for money that you have been given in any will. I make it a point to never ask for, hope for or accept money from family members and when I do, I remember not to let that be a guilt trip when they want this or that saying things like,';after ALLwe've DONE for you.'; Such nonsense. If this happened to me - I'd give them every penny of it because that would show them for the selfish greedy people that they are. It might make them think. Plus, why let $ get in the way of relationships. If they want the piddles I have - here you go! But, since you are not me - they really don't deserve a cent - don't give them anything and don't explain. They will be mad for a time but they will get over it.
I have the intentions of using the 拢500 to pass my driving test quickly, as I travel 2 hours per day to work by bus and train. The thing is, both parents are getting snotty about this as they want some.
I wouldnt mind, but i am skint and they have 拢1000s. What do I doI have been left some money in a will, but my family all want some, any advice?
This happens all the time!!!! it happened in my family. people come crawling out of the cracks just for a little bit of ur gold.
i suggest if u are ever left any money in the future dont tell anyone %26amp; with ur current situation tell them they are parasites and to f** off. seriously, its pathetic they even ask when they know u have been studying and with current debts, and as for ur parents they should know much better. should u even call them parents??
i know this is harsh but this is the only way to make them back off. u seem like u are a sincere kind person and others are just trying to take advantage of u.I have been left some money in a will, but my family all want some, any advice?
Simply say, it was the wish of so and so, for me to have this money. If you honored his/her wishes you would not be coming to me with this. I already have plans on using this money to pass my driving test quickly. Go death harvest some other relative whose wishes you repect less than your own greed! After saying all that, just walk away and never repeat yourself again.
DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT........... I F THERE IS NO POSSIBILITY TO SHARE EXPLAIN TO YOUR FAMILY IF THEY ARE GOING TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU PASS OUT THE MONEY AND YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT.......... ALL ICAN SAY IS DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...
dnt give,it's rightfully yours.
Dont give it
spend it on ya driving lessons,get it over quick..
it was left to you not them so keep it
Really, families and money don't mix - not even in death. It's completely absurd for them to ask for money that you have been given in any will. I make it a point to never ask for, hope for or accept money from family members and when I do, I remember not to let that be a guilt trip when they want this or that saying things like,';after ALLwe've DONE for you.'; Such nonsense. If this happened to me - I'd give them every penny of it because that would show them for the selfish greedy people that they are. It might make them think. Plus, why let $ get in the way of relationships. If they want the piddles I have - here you go! But, since you are not me - they really don't deserve a cent - don't give them anything and don't explain. They will be mad for a time but they will get over it.
Christian Family: I'm in need of advice and fast?
Girlfriend~Rachel
Other Girl~ Bethany
See Bethany was a christian and now feels as though God doesn't hear her when she prays and is slowly giving up. I have been where she is and want to help. But here is the thing if i do then Rachel is going to be mad. See Bethany likes me and Rachel is afraid that something will happen. I love Rachel with all my heart, but feel the need to reach out...
I have prayed and feel the need to reach out anyway... do you think i am right to risk the love of my life?Christian Family: I'm in need of advice and fast?
As Christians, we are supposed to reach out and give comfort and help to our fellow christians.
This is a tricky situation, because Rachel might feel you might cheat on her.
If Rachel is a christian as well, ask her to go with you and the two of you go talk to Bethany. If she balks, remind her of the verse. ';Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am.'; If she still won't go, then you can gently rebuke her and remind her what a Christian is and how they help other people.
I have the feeling that if Rachel goes with you, and sees that nothing will happen, she'll offer some help too.Christian Family: I'm in need of advice and fast?
If your girlfriend really loves you, then yes, she'll understand. Tell her why you feel you need to. Of course she'll be nervous, but just don't do anything with Bethany. Promise her you won't.
do what ever you have to do to keep another person from burning in hell for eternity your girlfriend should understand and besides life is temporary as long as you make it to heaven and save as many others as you can thats all that matters. The other things should come second.
so let me get this straight....You are the only person who can help this lost little lamb....hmmmm.....So you're the only Christian..........hhhmmmmmmm......that'鈥?a tough one.....try telling your girlfriend one more time....... she slowly give up......wow..hhmmmm tough one.......and your sure your not a player right.....hhhmmmm I gonna need more time I'll get back to you,,,,,,,,,,
OK SO I AM BACK......SO seriously.....YOU have prayed and feel the need to reach out ANYWAY hhhmmmmm....SO YOU HAVE PRAYED ABOUT IT AND YOU WANT TO HELP HER ANNNNYYYWWWWAAYYYYS......
SO YOU PRAYED ABOUT BUT YOU WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY
why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
Luke 6:46
is go for it want you'd like to hear
If she is really the love of your life, and you are positive that nothing fishy is going to happen, and she has no reason to think you'd cheat on her, then she should understand. You are just trying to help someone. Perhaps you can convince Rachel to HELP you instead of going it solo and looking like you're up to something. That is what I would do.
Your girlfriend should take into consideration that you are merly trying to help a friend in need. Its not like your cheating on your girlfriend. If she thinks this, there must be a reason she is so insecure. Have you cheated on her before or given her reason to? Also, do you flirt with this girl and sometimes us guys flirt when we dont even know were doing it. Taking that into consideration, first sit your girlfriend down and explain what your doing and why your doing it, listen to her reaction and please dont interrupt her when shes talking.
Ask Rachel to be there to support you in this endeavor to help Bethany.
I don't.
no be careful...see if gf has a guy for Bethany....let her always be there when you talk to Bethany...
If your gf would leave you for trying to 'help' someone, and if she doesn't trust you enough to know you're not going to cheat on her, then she isn't the 'love of your life', she's just another immature, insecure adolescent. Talk to her like an adult. Explain things. If she STILL can't deal with it, you need to ask yourself how substantial this relationship really is.
Male/Female interactions always have potential for misinterpretation. If Bethany needs help, you do need to help her but you also need to be very careful.
You might have the purest intentions, but you already know that Bethany likes you, and you are going to be talking about a very intimate topic, God, so there is a huge potential here to inadvertantly lead her on. You might do all you can to avoid it, and she might still misread the situation in her vulnerable emotional state right now and try something foolish like asking you out. Then she'll feel like a fool when you reject her and she'll be even more hurt and confused when the person helping her rejects her.
So, and I can't emphasize this enough, you can't just be with her one on one. That is asking for trouble.
My suggestion - either try to see her with other people, or try to get someone else to help her, probably preferably female.
May God be with you all, and particularly Bethany.
then why don't you and Rachel help her out together?
Is Rachel a Christian? If so, ask her to help Bethany. That way, you won't have any contact with her, and it will be a good barometer on your girlfriend's attitude. If Rachel isn't saved, well, do what you believe is wisest.
You my friend,are called a playa.
Is Rachel a christian? If so she should understand. I agree with the other answers you should involve her in what you are going to do. Pray some more. Good luck.
If you feel you need to reach out do so regardlesss of the possible consequences. You must be willing to give up anything and everything to serve the Lord Jesus. Jesus said if you love land, your parents, your children, wife, anything more than him you are unwothrthy of him. Just be careful so that Bethany dosnt get hurt afterwards.
LOL! I think Rachel sees right through you. Reach out... indeed!
The love of your life is God and Jesus. Explain to Rachel that you have no interest in Bethany.
';Love is never Jealous';. And if Rachel truly loves you she will trust you!
Good Luck and God Bless!
you dont say whether or not the girls get along. if so, take your girlfriend with you. if she is religious, maybe she can help. if she isn`t maybe she will hear something she needs to.
involve rachel
Other Girl~ Bethany
See Bethany was a christian and now feels as though God doesn't hear her when she prays and is slowly giving up. I have been where she is and want to help. But here is the thing if i do then Rachel is going to be mad. See Bethany likes me and Rachel is afraid that something will happen. I love Rachel with all my heart, but feel the need to reach out...
I have prayed and feel the need to reach out anyway... do you think i am right to risk the love of my life?Christian Family: I'm in need of advice and fast?
As Christians, we are supposed to reach out and give comfort and help to our fellow christians.
This is a tricky situation, because Rachel might feel you might cheat on her.
If Rachel is a christian as well, ask her to go with you and the two of you go talk to Bethany. If she balks, remind her of the verse. ';Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I am.'; If she still won't go, then you can gently rebuke her and remind her what a Christian is and how they help other people.
I have the feeling that if Rachel goes with you, and sees that nothing will happen, she'll offer some help too.Christian Family: I'm in need of advice and fast?
If your girlfriend really loves you, then yes, she'll understand. Tell her why you feel you need to. Of course she'll be nervous, but just don't do anything with Bethany. Promise her you won't.
do what ever you have to do to keep another person from burning in hell for eternity your girlfriend should understand and besides life is temporary as long as you make it to heaven and save as many others as you can thats all that matters. The other things should come second.
so let me get this straight....You are the only person who can help this lost little lamb....hmmmm.....So you're the only Christian..........hhhmmmmmmm......that'鈥?a tough one.....try telling your girlfriend one more time....... she slowly give up......wow..hhmmmm tough one.......and your sure your not a player right.....hhhmmmm I gonna need more time I'll get back to you,,,,,,,,,,
OK SO I AM BACK......SO seriously.....YOU have prayed and feel the need to reach out ANYWAY hhhmmmmm....SO YOU HAVE PRAYED ABOUT IT AND YOU WANT TO HELP HER ANNNNYYYWWWWAAYYYYS......
SO YOU PRAYED ABOUT BUT YOU WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY
why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
Luke 6:46
is go for it want you'd like to hear
If she is really the love of your life, and you are positive that nothing fishy is going to happen, and she has no reason to think you'd cheat on her, then she should understand. You are just trying to help someone. Perhaps you can convince Rachel to HELP you instead of going it solo and looking like you're up to something. That is what I would do.
Your girlfriend should take into consideration that you are merly trying to help a friend in need. Its not like your cheating on your girlfriend. If she thinks this, there must be a reason she is so insecure. Have you cheated on her before or given her reason to? Also, do you flirt with this girl and sometimes us guys flirt when we dont even know were doing it. Taking that into consideration, first sit your girlfriend down and explain what your doing and why your doing it, listen to her reaction and please dont interrupt her when shes talking.
Ask Rachel to be there to support you in this endeavor to help Bethany.
I don't.
no be careful...see if gf has a guy for Bethany....let her always be there when you talk to Bethany...
If your gf would leave you for trying to 'help' someone, and if she doesn't trust you enough to know you're not going to cheat on her, then she isn't the 'love of your life', she's just another immature, insecure adolescent. Talk to her like an adult. Explain things. If she STILL can't deal with it, you need to ask yourself how substantial this relationship really is.
Male/Female interactions always have potential for misinterpretation. If Bethany needs help, you do need to help her but you also need to be very careful.
You might have the purest intentions, but you already know that Bethany likes you, and you are going to be talking about a very intimate topic, God, so there is a huge potential here to inadvertantly lead her on. You might do all you can to avoid it, and she might still misread the situation in her vulnerable emotional state right now and try something foolish like asking you out. Then she'll feel like a fool when you reject her and she'll be even more hurt and confused when the person helping her rejects her.
So, and I can't emphasize this enough, you can't just be with her one on one. That is asking for trouble.
My suggestion - either try to see her with other people, or try to get someone else to help her, probably preferably female.
May God be with you all, and particularly Bethany.
then why don't you and Rachel help her out together?
Is Rachel a Christian? If so, ask her to help Bethany. That way, you won't have any contact with her, and it will be a good barometer on your girlfriend's attitude. If Rachel isn't saved, well, do what you believe is wisest.
You my friend,are called a playa.
Is Rachel a christian? If so she should understand. I agree with the other answers you should involve her in what you are going to do. Pray some more. Good luck.
If you feel you need to reach out do so regardlesss of the possible consequences. You must be willing to give up anything and everything to serve the Lord Jesus. Jesus said if you love land, your parents, your children, wife, anything more than him you are unwothrthy of him. Just be careful so that Bethany dosnt get hurt afterwards.
LOL! I think Rachel sees right through you. Reach out... indeed!
The love of your life is God and Jesus. Explain to Rachel that you have no interest in Bethany.
';Love is never Jealous';. And if Rachel truly loves you she will trust you!
Good Luck and God Bless!
you dont say whether or not the girls get along. if so, take your girlfriend with you. if she is religious, maybe she can help. if she isn`t maybe she will hear something she needs to.
involve rachel
I need some seroius help with my family....PLZ I need some advice...?
Okay, so I'm living with my mom, stepfather, two little brothers one is 4yr old and the other one is 2yr old and my stepfather`s dad passed away and he left him $53,000 dollars to support me, my mom and my brothers, he was suppose to get a car, a house, and just to support all of us but, instead he gambled all the money and now all we have is a car and my cousin her name is monica she offered me to come live with her until my mom was back on her feet but my mom didn't let me she said where ever ishe goes I go so I have to be homeless with the rest of us and now I just feel like crying cause I love my cousin and I really don't want to be homeless and struggle like this it is really hard now just PLZ help I need some seroius help....PLZ anything will help...THANKS LOTS!!!I need some seroius help with my family....PLZ I need some advice...?
I dont really know you situation but if your father is still alive why not go with him
I dont really know you situation but if your father is still alive why not go with him
I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Here's the story: my fiancee and i have been together for 2 years now, and we have been living in PA near my family.
We both were laid off of our jobs a few months ago, and are having a difficult time finding jobs that will support the both of us. We had discussed moving closer to his family in Wisconsin and they are willing to help us start over in this new area.
My mother is very over-protective and does not like my fianc茅e much at all. She feels that he is taking me away from the family, and that should choose my family over the love of my life. Whenever I am with my parents, i feel as though i can do nothing right and that all the decisions i have made in my life are the wrong ones. They are good people, but they don't understand that my choices are my own, and if necessary i do need to fall on my face once or twice on my own. I feel that i have had everything handed to me (which i do appreciate all their kindnesses), but i want to see if i can venture forth on my own.
I am 22, and i am not stupid. i know that moving there has huge risks, and we both already have jobs and possible homes lined up for us when we get out there. I have explained to my landlord the situation, and he has ok'd us to leave in the next few weeks.
How is the best way to break to my immediate and close family that i am leaving and probably not coming back? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Go.
Tell your Mother to start saving her
loose change in a jar. It will add up fast,
and she won't miss it. Then she will have
the money to bring you home one day if needed.
Have a going away get together.
Good luck.
Donate free rice at
http://freerice.comI am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
have like a cookout or dinner and bring them over justyou and your husband with your parents and just explain to them how u feel...and how it is normal for couple to move along...it should be simple....take pictures and video to take with you so u can watch were ever your going and keep memories....
I see why she is worried. You are moving very far away with potential jobs,not much money, do you really know his family really well? It is a great way to get stuck and very dependent on him without family as back up. What is the reason your mom does not like him?
I see why she is worried honestly. How would you feel if your daughter did this? Let your guard down, really talk to your mom one on one.lipstick gloss
We both were laid off of our jobs a few months ago, and are having a difficult time finding jobs that will support the both of us. We had discussed moving closer to his family in Wisconsin and they are willing to help us start over in this new area.
My mother is very over-protective and does not like my fianc茅e much at all. She feels that he is taking me away from the family, and that should choose my family over the love of my life. Whenever I am with my parents, i feel as though i can do nothing right and that all the decisions i have made in my life are the wrong ones. They are good people, but they don't understand that my choices are my own, and if necessary i do need to fall on my face once or twice on my own. I feel that i have had everything handed to me (which i do appreciate all their kindnesses), but i want to see if i can venture forth on my own.
I am 22, and i am not stupid. i know that moving there has huge risks, and we both already have jobs and possible homes lined up for us when we get out there. I have explained to my landlord the situation, and he has ok'd us to leave in the next few weeks.
How is the best way to break to my immediate and close family that i am leaving and probably not coming back? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Go.
Tell your Mother to start saving her
loose change in a jar. It will add up fast,
and she won't miss it. Then she will have
the money to bring you home one day if needed.
Have a going away get together.
Good luck.
Donate free rice at
http://freerice.comI am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
have like a cookout or dinner and bring them over justyou and your husband with your parents and just explain to them how u feel...and how it is normal for couple to move along...it should be simple....take pictures and video to take with you so u can watch were ever your going and keep memories....
I see why she is worried. You are moving very far away with potential jobs,not much money, do you really know his family really well? It is a great way to get stuck and very dependent on him without family as back up. What is the reason your mom does not like him?
I see why she is worried honestly. How would you feel if your daughter did this? Let your guard down, really talk to your mom one on one.
Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
an African-American girl but i am not that much into them. i am afraid if my dad finds out i am going out with an Asian girl he is going to freak out.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
THIS IS UP TO YOU.YOU CAN NOT PLEAE EVERY ONE.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
Here is the question that I have for you. If you are also African American why would you not be into your own women?
Your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters, Cousins are all African -American. If you love and hounour all of these important women in your family then it is correct to assume that you would want to find a women that immulates the wonderful and strong qualitites of some of the women in your family, or has specific wonderful qualities that she brings from her own life experiences.
Think of things like this also. What if no one was not really into your Mom. Then how would you have come into exsistence.
What about your sisters or the other women in your life that you love. What if there was no one out there that was into them that much. What would their lives be like?
Here is also some food for thought. It takes a real man, of any Ethnicity to deal with a Strong, educated, willful, dominating, respectful, African-American woman. You definetly have to know who you are as a man to deal with strong women.
Many times African-American men go to women of other ethnicites becasue they don't have to work as hard, or come correct to the female or her family, so that is why they intentially choose white women, Asian women which are so much more passive compared to African-American Women.
I would say that you need to examine your intentions. Are you trying to date this Asian Girl just becasue it is the easy way out?
My last words in parting, African-American women are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. We are not only physically beautiful with the best facial features, Best bodies ( Lips,Chest, hips, Butt, thighs), but we are also strong, independent, Intelligent, resillient, confident, Funny, good common sense, and a myriad of other great personal qualities.
I suggest that every man who is strong enough experience being with an African-American Woman once in his lifetime. Once you get the right one, you will never want anything less.
I know this probably isn't the point in your life/relationship where you'd be thinking about this, but...
Your family is your family, and they'll always be your family no matter what you choose, however, whoever you date could be a potential spouse, and the person you could end up living with.
Once you're married, you don't live with your parents and don't have to follow their rules.
When it comes to relationships, go with what YOU want, not your parents, because they won't be able to decide who you marry. Unless you live in a place where arranged marriage is common...
But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
let your parents know that they are displaying racist attributes. ask them to get to know your choice of girlfriend first, before they judge her. your parents should know better than to judge somebody based on skin colour. stand firm - dont let their opinions rub off on you.
well if that was me i would tell him to get over it and that im not going to live my life miserable with the wrong person because they want me to be with a certain person. this isnt the olden days
you know your relationships are not really for your parents to decide. its probly best if you tell your parents right now. just be frank and sincere and honest with them im sure your parents will understand only want you to be happy.
just tell dad she is very very tight down below...he will understand
THIS IS UP TO YOU.YOU CAN NOT PLEAE EVERY ONE.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
Here is the question that I have for you. If you are also African American why would you not be into your own women?
Your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters, Cousins are all African -American. If you love and hounour all of these important women in your family then it is correct to assume that you would want to find a women that immulates the wonderful and strong qualitites of some of the women in your family, or has specific wonderful qualities that she brings from her own life experiences.
Think of things like this also. What if no one was not really into your Mom. Then how would you have come into exsistence.
What about your sisters or the other women in your life that you love. What if there was no one out there that was into them that much. What would their lives be like?
Here is also some food for thought. It takes a real man, of any Ethnicity to deal with a Strong, educated, willful, dominating, respectful, African-American woman. You definetly have to know who you are as a man to deal with strong women.
Many times African-American men go to women of other ethnicites becasue they don't have to work as hard, or come correct to the female or her family, so that is why they intentially choose white women, Asian women which are so much more passive compared to African-American Women.
I would say that you need to examine your intentions. Are you trying to date this Asian Girl just becasue it is the easy way out?
My last words in parting, African-American women are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. We are not only physically beautiful with the best facial features, Best bodies ( Lips,Chest, hips, Butt, thighs), but we are also strong, independent, Intelligent, resillient, confident, Funny, good common sense, and a myriad of other great personal qualities.
I suggest that every man who is strong enough experience being with an African-American Woman once in his lifetime. Once you get the right one, you will never want anything less.
I know this probably isn't the point in your life/relationship where you'd be thinking about this, but...
Your family is your family, and they'll always be your family no matter what you choose, however, whoever you date could be a potential spouse, and the person you could end up living with.
Once you're married, you don't live with your parents and don't have to follow their rules.
When it comes to relationships, go with what YOU want, not your parents, because they won't be able to decide who you marry. Unless you live in a place where arranged marriage is common...
But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
let your parents know that they are displaying racist attributes. ask them to get to know your choice of girlfriend first, before they judge her. your parents should know better than to judge somebody based on skin colour. stand firm - dont let their opinions rub off on you.
well if that was me i would tell him to get over it and that im not going to live my life miserable with the wrong person because they want me to be with a certain person. this isnt the olden days
you know your relationships are not really for your parents to decide. its probly best if you tell your parents right now. just be frank and sincere and honest with them im sure your parents will understand only want you to be happy.
just tell dad she is very very tight down below...he will understand
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
I don't think that this question needs an answer because it's obvious that everyone would say family but I have quite a problem. I'm graduating this year and my boyfriend wants me to go study university with him in London. My mom told me that she would like me to stay with her for a year and study here and then for my second year of university I can move out, go live and study with my boyfriend.
The problem is that he's got one more year of high school and by the time he graduates I'm going to be 2nd year in uni. Everything sounds great and well planned but my boyfriend keeps on saying how if I don't move in with him this summer (June 2009) that one more year is going to totally tear us apart because we have a long distance relationship and so on.. and the thing is that I don't know what to do.
My parents say that I HAVE to stay one year with them and then travel but my bf doesn't agree and he's acting really selfish and keeps on convincing me he's right. I do agree with him for some things but I also agree with my mom and dad. I know that my parents love me and I know that my boyfriend loves me, but I can't choose. I don't want to have to choose. And I really don't know what I want because I don't know what will make me happy.
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Okay, I'm going to say family as you've guessed, but I have my reasons.
I don't think your boyfriend should 'threaten' you like that! If he truly believes you guys were meant for each other than a year wont make a difference!
Stay for your parents because they have their own reasons for wanting you to stay. Plus, I'm assuming they're the ones paying for your school? It would be rude to not listen and make them pay for you!
Also, you may eventually break up with your boyfriend regardless if you go to London with him rightaway. Your parents will always be there for you.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Do your thing. There will be other guys. He obviously can't wait and he's intimidated by your intelligence.
Long distance relationships sometimes make the heart grow fonder. He's using that as an excuse to have a live-in bed mate.
Sorry sweetie, that's how I see it.
talk to somebody
both sides are selfish. why cant you have own decision?
stop following other people.
TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do what your parents are asking. I think the reason why they may want you to stay there another year is to see if your relationship can survive you two being apart. As you may know%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;many relationships end when kids go off to collage. SO%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;if you guys really love each other, then you can wait the year and see how things go. LISTEN%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;your young. The chances are very small that you'll end up with this guy as your husband. I know you don't want to hear that%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;BUT IT'S TRUE!!! Believe me%26gt;%26gt; I was young once too. Do you know how many times I THOUGHT I was in love??? Listen to your parents. Believe me%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;their right.
I think your boyfriend and your parents are being selfish,to be honest. This should be YOUR decision, not theirs. Your parents shouldn't be forcing you to say. And your boyfriend shouldn't tell you that a year apart will destroy the relationship, because if he truly loved you he would wait for you to come if what you really wanted was to stay with your family for a year. Do what makes you happy and makes the most sense for you. Don't let other people influence your decision because if they love you they will be there for you no matter what.
The problem is that he's got one more year of high school and by the time he graduates I'm going to be 2nd year in uni. Everything sounds great and well planned but my boyfriend keeps on saying how if I don't move in with him this summer (June 2009) that one more year is going to totally tear us apart because we have a long distance relationship and so on.. and the thing is that I don't know what to do.
My parents say that I HAVE to stay one year with them and then travel but my bf doesn't agree and he's acting really selfish and keeps on convincing me he's right. I do agree with him for some things but I also agree with my mom and dad. I know that my parents love me and I know that my boyfriend loves me, but I can't choose. I don't want to have to choose. And I really don't know what I want because I don't know what will make me happy.
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Okay, I'm going to say family as you've guessed, but I have my reasons.
I don't think your boyfriend should 'threaten' you like that! If he truly believes you guys were meant for each other than a year wont make a difference!
Stay for your parents because they have their own reasons for wanting you to stay. Plus, I'm assuming they're the ones paying for your school? It would be rude to not listen and make them pay for you!
Also, you may eventually break up with your boyfriend regardless if you go to London with him rightaway. Your parents will always be there for you.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Do your thing. There will be other guys. He obviously can't wait and he's intimidated by your intelligence.
Long distance relationships sometimes make the heart grow fonder. He's using that as an excuse to have a live-in bed mate.
Sorry sweetie, that's how I see it.
talk to somebody
both sides are selfish. why cant you have own decision?
stop following other people.
TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do what your parents are asking. I think the reason why they may want you to stay there another year is to see if your relationship can survive you two being apart. As you may know%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;many relationships end when kids go off to collage. SO%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;if you guys really love each other, then you can wait the year and see how things go. LISTEN%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;your young. The chances are very small that you'll end up with this guy as your husband. I know you don't want to hear that%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;BUT IT'S TRUE!!! Believe me%26gt;%26gt; I was young once too. Do you know how many times I THOUGHT I was in love??? Listen to your parents. Believe me%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;their right.
I think your boyfriend and your parents are being selfish,to be honest. This should be YOUR decision, not theirs. Your parents shouldn't be forcing you to say. And your boyfriend shouldn't tell you that a year apart will destroy the relationship, because if he truly loved you he would wait for you to come if what you really wanted was to stay with your family for a year. Do what makes you happy and makes the most sense for you. Don't let other people influence your decision because if they love you they will be there for you no matter what.
Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
My family and I are Catholics, a form of Christianity. We don’t celebrate Halloween. My father believes the holiday is an evil holiday based around the devil. I couldn’t agree more, but sometimes…he takes it to a bit of an extreme. Last year the series ‘Twilight’ became one of the most talked about subjects in town…or at least for girls in their teens. When I told my dad I was going to buy the Twilight books he asked what is was about. I made the mistake of describing the series with one simple word…vampires. Ever since then we’ve been battling about it, and that was almost a year ago. The thing is, he has no real reason why I can’t watch it. It makes him sound very hypocritical and idiotic when he argues about it. Mostly because he used to watch the ‘Munsters’ and other vampire shows. Of course it wasn’t a problem…because that was “different.” See what I meant by, hypocritical?
Twilight had become the talk of the church, too. Kids wore ‘Bella%26amp;Edward’ T-shirts and what not. He believes that vampires are a symbol of evil, a symbol of the devil. I tried explaining to him the plot of the story. “It’s not a horror, they’re vegetarian vampires! He falls in love with a human girl. It’s a romance…a Romeo and Juliet sorta thing”. This gave him another point to use against me. “Good vampires?? Unbelievable! You see, Sabrina? That is the reason you are forbidden to be involved in this series. They are trying to brainwash kids into believing that vampires are good, and therefore, so is the devil!” He would say. I would sigh and merely roll my eyes. He had no idea what he was talking about. Even the priest at our church said the series was appropriate and yet he refused to listen. He is probably the most stubborn man in the world.
I would practically beg him to allow me to watch and read the series. By this time the movie had come out and all of the books had already been around for a while. So one day I decided enough was enough. I spent three days at a friend of mines house. We watched Twilight and I read the second book in the series, New Moon. From the moment I saw that movie I knew in my heart I had to convince him…someway, somehow. So I involved my mother in the debate. She always broke down at my begging. I think the real reason my father was afraid to allow me to watch the movie was the fact that I would turn gothic or something. Which was obviously not going to happen. For one, Twilight had nothing punk or gothic about it. And two, I’m absolutely petrified of any gothic creature on the face of the planet.
After a while my mother convinced him that she would watch the movie and if she approved, I would be able to watch it. Since he still refused to be supporters of the series my mom watched it alone and also fell in love with the series. Little did she know that when she gave me the news I had already seen the movie 4 times before then. I found a few copies for free on the internet, and then the time I watched it twice at my friend’s house. That time we had also watched the behind the scenes and cast commentaries. I was very knowledgeable about the series already. I was, however, very excited to not have to sneak around and watch it. So that afternoon my mom and I watched the movie together. She fell in love with it and I fell even deeper for it. I was hooked.
A week later we went to our local bookstore and bought books number 2 and 3. I had already read the second, but a refresher certainly wouldn’t help. My father was…unaware, that we purchased the books. To him I was simply reading. For the next three days I wouldn’t put the books down…I stayed up all night and all day reading. We went to a baseball game and I read. We went to the grocery store and I read as we walked. Everywhere we went, I read. Not that I was obsessed or addicted, I just preferred to stay in the tiny town of Forks with Bella, Edward, and the rest of the gang than live my life. On the third night, at around midnight when I was reading Eclipse, the third book in the series, he came into my room to tell me goodnight. He said, “Your really enjoying that book. huh?” He hadn’t noticed that there were two books and he most certainly was unaware that they had anything to do with Twilight. I nodded my head yes, not tempted to say anymore. I wasn’t exactly lying, just not sharing everything. But who ever said I had to share everything?
Then he asked what I wish he hadn’t…what book is it? Instead of saying ‘Eclipse’ I said “Twilight the third”. Which, as stupid as you may think it was to call it Twilight, it saved me from saying the word vampire, which would have made him angrier. As I said ‘Twilight’ I smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn’t take them away from me because I was enjoying them so much. He was furious. But he didn’t say anything more. He left the room after that. Then this morning when he came in to tell me good morning and I was still reading he made no attempt to hide his irritation, but still said nothing. Later he got intoFamily debate about Vampires....any advice?
Vampires are fictional creatures that can not hurt anyone.
They are not associated with the devil or demonic
possession at all. The person who should be talking with
your dad is your church pastor. Your dad has some
misconceptions and could probably benefit from some
more earthly intervention. Twilight is for entertainment
purposes only. It does not promote or encourage devil
worship. If your faith in God is strong enough then this
book should not be a threat to that faith. (Have your father read this answer) I work in a public school middle school
library. Twilight and all of the other books that came out
following Twilight were very popular and I never saw
any student become a devil or demon worshiper after reading the books. The books are fiction and quite safe. Hope this helps.Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
http://movienow.biz/details/mo…
HAHAHAHA im happy im jewish. and dont really care for religion much.
If your dad doesn't want you to read the books, then why read them around him? There's no reason to turn it into a family debate as you call it... there are way more serious things to start ';family debates'; over (divorces, drug abuse, accidents, etc.) It's almost like you are trying to get a reaction from your dad on purpose by reading them around him and then smiling and going, ';Twilight'; when he asked what you were reading. Even if you say you're not addicted, the fact that you said constantly read the books because would rather live in a fictional vampire world than live your life is a pretty sad statement. Since your dad doesn't want you reading Twilight, why not take that opportunity to explore works of literature that are actually worth reading?
i had neighbors who were Catholics and weren't allowed to celebrate halloween....but i am a fan of twilight also, and like you, i was hooked...i would read from the moment i waked up to the minute i go to sleep...i like reading those fantasy books, my imagination went to a different world with edward and bella and everyone else and i preferred that than reality....anyways, twilight is not horrible..it doesn't promote evil and the characters don't resemble the devil...it's just a romane novel that girls like to escape to and live in a world where ';the ideal man'; really exists...since your dad didn't get really mad just irritated, i would just keep on reading them...he'll lighten up eventally..good luck
this is problem with religion, the closed minds! halloween is NOT an evil holiday based around the devil, that's bigotry and lack of understanding. just like jesus is NOT the reason for the season. ancient christianity, in an effort to include pagans in their religion, chose december 25 as the day to celebrate his birth due to it's close proximity to the pagan solstice. but onto your problem. some believe that vampires instead of being evil, are infected by a disease which causes the blood to die, put simply. that's why they need new blood to replace it. they also claim that vampires do not need to kill, but like us humans there are both good and evil ones. but none of that matters because as i see it, your father has already closed his mind to debate. he's made up his mind and if god himself came down and disagreed, he would call him an evil liar. i'm not sure what your question was since you were cut off, but if it was about changing his mind, i'm sorry to say you have no chance! in order to change it, he'd have to open it and he's already made his up, regardless of facts!
Halloween is not an evil holiday based upon the devil. I'm sorry but what is the question? You go on and on about Twilight series and how you ';fell in love'; with them, and stayed up reading them. Yes, the series is good, but you sound a bit obsessed. I don't understand how your mom could love the movies/books, because she is an adult and the book are fantasy/romance. Your father sounds ignorant, for him to be furious over some fictional book, I mean who cares if there are vampires in the book. There mise-well be fairies in the book because neither are real. Vampires are not a symbol or the devil, they aren't real, so how could your father be mad about it? Maybe, because you are reading the Twilight Saga as if it were your Bible or something. In my opinion I think this is ridiculous. Not just your father and mother. I think you are being ridiculous because the way you are reading Twilight books. I mean you obviously have nothing better to do.
Twilight had become the talk of the church, too. Kids wore ‘Bella%26amp;Edward’ T-shirts and what not. He believes that vampires are a symbol of evil, a symbol of the devil. I tried explaining to him the plot of the story. “It’s not a horror, they’re vegetarian vampires! He falls in love with a human girl. It’s a romance…a Romeo and Juliet sorta thing”. This gave him another point to use against me. “Good vampires?? Unbelievable! You see, Sabrina? That is the reason you are forbidden to be involved in this series. They are trying to brainwash kids into believing that vampires are good, and therefore, so is the devil!” He would say. I would sigh and merely roll my eyes. He had no idea what he was talking about. Even the priest at our church said the series was appropriate and yet he refused to listen. He is probably the most stubborn man in the world.
I would practically beg him to allow me to watch and read the series. By this time the movie had come out and all of the books had already been around for a while. So one day I decided enough was enough. I spent three days at a friend of mines house. We watched Twilight and I read the second book in the series, New Moon. From the moment I saw that movie I knew in my heart I had to convince him…someway, somehow. So I involved my mother in the debate. She always broke down at my begging. I think the real reason my father was afraid to allow me to watch the movie was the fact that I would turn gothic or something. Which was obviously not going to happen. For one, Twilight had nothing punk or gothic about it. And two, I’m absolutely petrified of any gothic creature on the face of the planet.
After a while my mother convinced him that she would watch the movie and if she approved, I would be able to watch it. Since he still refused to be supporters of the series my mom watched it alone and also fell in love with the series. Little did she know that when she gave me the news I had already seen the movie 4 times before then. I found a few copies for free on the internet, and then the time I watched it twice at my friend’s house. That time we had also watched the behind the scenes and cast commentaries. I was very knowledgeable about the series already. I was, however, very excited to not have to sneak around and watch it. So that afternoon my mom and I watched the movie together. She fell in love with it and I fell even deeper for it. I was hooked.
A week later we went to our local bookstore and bought books number 2 and 3. I had already read the second, but a refresher certainly wouldn’t help. My father was…unaware, that we purchased the books. To him I was simply reading. For the next three days I wouldn’t put the books down…I stayed up all night and all day reading. We went to a baseball game and I read. We went to the grocery store and I read as we walked. Everywhere we went, I read. Not that I was obsessed or addicted, I just preferred to stay in the tiny town of Forks with Bella, Edward, and the rest of the gang than live my life. On the third night, at around midnight when I was reading Eclipse, the third book in the series, he came into my room to tell me goodnight. He said, “Your really enjoying that book. huh?” He hadn’t noticed that there were two books and he most certainly was unaware that they had anything to do with Twilight. I nodded my head yes, not tempted to say anymore. I wasn’t exactly lying, just not sharing everything. But who ever said I had to share everything?
Then he asked what I wish he hadn’t…what book is it? Instead of saying ‘Eclipse’ I said “Twilight the third”. Which, as stupid as you may think it was to call it Twilight, it saved me from saying the word vampire, which would have made him angrier. As I said ‘Twilight’ I smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn’t take them away from me because I was enjoying them so much. He was furious. But he didn’t say anything more. He left the room after that. Then this morning when he came in to tell me good morning and I was still reading he made no attempt to hide his irritation, but still said nothing. Later he got intoFamily debate about Vampires....any advice?
Vampires are fictional creatures that can not hurt anyone.
They are not associated with the devil or demonic
possession at all. The person who should be talking with
your dad is your church pastor. Your dad has some
misconceptions and could probably benefit from some
more earthly intervention. Twilight is for entertainment
purposes only. It does not promote or encourage devil
worship. If your faith in God is strong enough then this
book should not be a threat to that faith. (Have your father read this answer) I work in a public school middle school
library. Twilight and all of the other books that came out
following Twilight were very popular and I never saw
any student become a devil or demon worshiper after reading the books. The books are fiction and quite safe. Hope this helps.Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
http://movienow.biz/details/mo…
Report Abuse
HAHAHAHA im happy im jewish. and dont really care for religion much.
If your dad doesn't want you to read the books, then why read them around him? There's no reason to turn it into a family debate as you call it... there are way more serious things to start ';family debates'; over (divorces, drug abuse, accidents, etc.) It's almost like you are trying to get a reaction from your dad on purpose by reading them around him and then smiling and going, ';Twilight'; when he asked what you were reading. Even if you say you're not addicted, the fact that you said constantly read the books because would rather live in a fictional vampire world than live your life is a pretty sad statement. Since your dad doesn't want you reading Twilight, why not take that opportunity to explore works of literature that are actually worth reading?
i had neighbors who were Catholics and weren't allowed to celebrate halloween....but i am a fan of twilight also, and like you, i was hooked...i would read from the moment i waked up to the minute i go to sleep...i like reading those fantasy books, my imagination went to a different world with edward and bella and everyone else and i preferred that than reality....anyways, twilight is not horrible..it doesn't promote evil and the characters don't resemble the devil...it's just a romane novel that girls like to escape to and live in a world where ';the ideal man'; really exists...since your dad didn't get really mad just irritated, i would just keep on reading them...he'll lighten up eventally..good luck
this is problem with religion, the closed minds! halloween is NOT an evil holiday based around the devil, that's bigotry and lack of understanding. just like jesus is NOT the reason for the season. ancient christianity, in an effort to include pagans in their religion, chose december 25 as the day to celebrate his birth due to it's close proximity to the pagan solstice. but onto your problem. some believe that vampires instead of being evil, are infected by a disease which causes the blood to die, put simply. that's why they need new blood to replace it. they also claim that vampires do not need to kill, but like us humans there are both good and evil ones. but none of that matters because as i see it, your father has already closed his mind to debate. he's made up his mind and if god himself came down and disagreed, he would call him an evil liar. i'm not sure what your question was since you were cut off, but if it was about changing his mind, i'm sorry to say you have no chance! in order to change it, he'd have to open it and he's already made his up, regardless of facts!
Halloween is not an evil holiday based upon the devil. I'm sorry but what is the question? You go on and on about Twilight series and how you ';fell in love'; with them, and stayed up reading them. Yes, the series is good, but you sound a bit obsessed. I don't understand how your mom could love the movies/books, because she is an adult and the book are fantasy/romance. Your father sounds ignorant, for him to be furious over some fictional book, I mean who cares if there are vampires in the book. There mise-well be fairies in the book because neither are real. Vampires are not a symbol or the devil, they aren't real, so how could your father be mad about it? Maybe, because you are reading the Twilight Saga as if it were your Bible or something. In my opinion I think this is ridiculous. Not just your father and mother. I think you are being ridiculous because the way you are reading Twilight books. I mean you obviously have nothing better to do.
I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Here's the story: my fiancee and i have been together for 2 years now, and we have been living in PA near my family.
We both were laid off of our jobs a few months ago, and are having a difficult time finding jobs that will support the both of us. We had discussed moving closer to his family in Wisconsin and they are willing to help us start over in this new area.
My mother is very over-protective and does not like my fianc茅e much at all. She feels that he is taking me away from the family, and that should choose my family over the love of my life. Whenever I am with my parents, i feel as though i can do nothing right and that all the decisions i have made in my life are the wrong ones. They are good people, but they don't understand that my choices are my own, and if necessary i do need to fall on my face once or twice on my own. I feel that i have had everything handed to me (which i do appreciate all their kindnesses), but i want to see if i can venture forth on my own.
I am 22, and i am not stupid. i know that moving there has huge risks, and we both already have jobs and possible homes lined up for us when we get out there. I have explained to my landlord the situation, and he has ok'd us to leave in the next few weeks.
How is the best way to break to my immediate and close family that i am leaving and probably not coming back? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
I see why she is worried. You are moving very far away with potential jobs,not much money, do you really know his family really well? It is a great way to get stuck and very dependent on him without family as back up. What is the reason your mom does not like him?
I see why she is worried honestly. How would you feel if your daughter did this? Let your guard down, really talk to your mom one on one.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Go.
Tell your Mother to start saving her
loose change in a jar. It will add up fast,
and she won't miss it. Then she will have
the money to bring you home one day if needed.
Have a going away get together.
Good luck.
Donate free rice at
http://freerice.com
have like a cookout or dinner and bring them over justyou and your husband with your parents and just explain to them how u feel...and how it is normal for couple to move along...it should be simple....take pictures and video to take with you so u can watch were ever your going and keep memories....
We both were laid off of our jobs a few months ago, and are having a difficult time finding jobs that will support the both of us. We had discussed moving closer to his family in Wisconsin and they are willing to help us start over in this new area.
My mother is very over-protective and does not like my fianc茅e much at all. She feels that he is taking me away from the family, and that should choose my family over the love of my life. Whenever I am with my parents, i feel as though i can do nothing right and that all the decisions i have made in my life are the wrong ones. They are good people, but they don't understand that my choices are my own, and if necessary i do need to fall on my face once or twice on my own. I feel that i have had everything handed to me (which i do appreciate all their kindnesses), but i want to see if i can venture forth on my own.
I am 22, and i am not stupid. i know that moving there has huge risks, and we both already have jobs and possible homes lined up for us when we get out there. I have explained to my landlord the situation, and he has ok'd us to leave in the next few weeks.
How is the best way to break to my immediate and close family that i am leaving and probably not coming back? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
I see why she is worried. You are moving very far away with potential jobs,not much money, do you really know his family really well? It is a great way to get stuck and very dependent on him without family as back up. What is the reason your mom does not like him?
I see why she is worried honestly. How would you feel if your daughter did this? Let your guard down, really talk to your mom one on one.I am moving far away from my family and i need some advice.?
Go.
Tell your Mother to start saving her
loose change in a jar. It will add up fast,
and she won't miss it. Then she will have
the money to bring you home one day if needed.
Have a going away get together.
Good luck.
Donate free rice at
http://freerice.com
have like a cookout or dinner and bring them over justyou and your husband with your parents and just explain to them how u feel...and how it is normal for couple to move along...it should be simple....take pictures and video to take with you so u can watch were ever your going and keep memories....
Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
an African-American girl but i am not that much into them. i am afraid if my dad finds out i am going out with an Asian girl he is going to freak out.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
THIS IS UP TO YOU.YOU CAN NOT PLEAE EVERY ONE.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
Here is the question that I have for you. If you are also African American why would you not be into your own women?
Your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters, Cousins are all African -American. If you love and hounour all of these important women in your family then it is correct to assume that you would want to find a women that immulates the wonderful and strong qualitites of some of the women in your family, or has specific wonderful qualities that she brings from her own life experiences.
Think of things like this also. What if no one was not really into your Mom. Then how would you have come into exsistence.
What about your sisters or the other women in your life that you love. What if there was no one out there that was into them that much. What would their lives be like?
Here is also some food for thought. It takes a real man, of any Ethnicity to deal with a Strong, educated, willful, dominating, respectful, African-American woman. You definetly have to know who you are as a man to deal with strong women.
Many times African-American men go to women of other ethnicites becasue they don't have to work as hard, or come correct to the female or her family, so that is why they intentially choose white women, Asian women which are so much more passive compared to African-American Women.
I would say that you need to examine your intentions. Are you trying to date this Asian Girl just becasue it is the easy way out?
My last words in parting, African-American women are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. We are not only physically beautiful with the best facial features, Best bodies ( Lips,Chest, hips, Butt, thighs), but we are also strong, independent, Intelligent, resillient, confident, Funny, good common sense, and a myriad of other great personal qualities.
I suggest that every man who is strong enough experience being with an African-American Woman once in his lifetime. Once you get the right one, you will never want anything less.
I know this probably isn't the point in your life/relationship where you'd be thinking about this, but...
Your family is your family, and they'll always be your family no matter what you choose, however, whoever you date could be a potential spouse, and the person you could end up living with.
Once you're married, you don't live with your parents and don't have to follow their rules.
When it comes to relationships, go with what YOU want, not your parents, because they won't be able to decide who you marry. Unless you live in a place where arranged marriage is common...
But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
let your parents know that they are displaying racist attributes. ask them to get to know your choice of girlfriend first, before they judge her. your parents should know better than to judge somebody based on skin colour. stand firm - dont let their opinions rub off on you.
well if that was me i would tell him to get over it and that im not going to live my life miserable with the wrong person because they want me to be with a certain person. this isnt the olden days
you know your relationships are not really for your parents to decide. its probly best if you tell your parents right now. just be frank and sincere and honest with them im sure your parents will understand only want you to be happy.
just tell dad she is very very tight down below...he will understand
THIS IS UP TO YOU.YOU CAN NOT PLEAE EVERY ONE.Ok i took everybodys advice and asked the freshman out but she is asian and my family wants me to go out with?
Here is the question that I have for you. If you are also African American why would you not be into your own women?
Your Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters, Cousins are all African -American. If you love and hounour all of these important women in your family then it is correct to assume that you would want to find a women that immulates the wonderful and strong qualitites of some of the women in your family, or has specific wonderful qualities that she brings from her own life experiences.
Think of things like this also. What if no one was not really into your Mom. Then how would you have come into exsistence.
What about your sisters or the other women in your life that you love. What if there was no one out there that was into them that much. What would their lives be like?
Here is also some food for thought. It takes a real man, of any Ethnicity to deal with a Strong, educated, willful, dominating, respectful, African-American woman. You definetly have to know who you are as a man to deal with strong women.
Many times African-American men go to women of other ethnicites becasue they don't have to work as hard, or come correct to the female or her family, so that is why they intentially choose white women, Asian women which are so much more passive compared to African-American Women.
I would say that you need to examine your intentions. Are you trying to date this Asian Girl just becasue it is the easy way out?
My last words in parting, African-American women are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. We are not only physically beautiful with the best facial features, Best bodies ( Lips,Chest, hips, Butt, thighs), but we are also strong, independent, Intelligent, resillient, confident, Funny, good common sense, and a myriad of other great personal qualities.
I suggest that every man who is strong enough experience being with an African-American Woman once in his lifetime. Once you get the right one, you will never want anything less.
I know this probably isn't the point in your life/relationship where you'd be thinking about this, but...
Your family is your family, and they'll always be your family no matter what you choose, however, whoever you date could be a potential spouse, and the person you could end up living with.
Once you're married, you don't live with your parents and don't have to follow their rules.
When it comes to relationships, go with what YOU want, not your parents, because they won't be able to decide who you marry. Unless you live in a place where arranged marriage is common...
But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
let your parents know that they are displaying racist attributes. ask them to get to know your choice of girlfriend first, before they judge her. your parents should know better than to judge somebody based on skin colour. stand firm - dont let their opinions rub off on you.
well if that was me i would tell him to get over it and that im not going to live my life miserable with the wrong person because they want me to be with a certain person. this isnt the olden days
you know your relationships are not really for your parents to decide. its probly best if you tell your parents right now. just be frank and sincere and honest with them im sure your parents will understand only want you to be happy.
just tell dad she is very very tight down below...he will understand
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
I don't think that this question needs an answer because it's obvious that everyone would say family but I have quite a problem. I'm graduating this year and my boyfriend wants me to go study university with him in London. My mom told me that she would like me to stay with her for a year and study here and then for my second year of university I can move out, go live and study with my boyfriend.
The problem is that he's got one more year of high school and by the time he graduates I'm going to be 2nd year in uni. Everything sounds great and well planned but my boyfriend keeps on saying how if I don't move in with him this summer (June 2009) that one more year is going to totally tear us apart because we have a long distance relationship and so on.. and the thing is that I don't know what to do.
My parents say that I HAVE to stay one year with them and then travel but my bf doesn't agree and he's acting really selfish and keeps on convincing me he's right. I do agree with him for some things but I also agree with my mom and dad. I know that my parents love me and I know that my boyfriend loves me, but I can't choose. I don't want to have to choose. And I really don't know what I want because I don't know what will make me happy.
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Okay, I'm going to say family as you've guessed, but I have my reasons.
I don't think your boyfriend should 'threaten' you like that! If he truly believes you guys were meant for each other than a year wont make a difference!
Stay for your parents because they have their own reasons for wanting you to stay. Plus, I'm assuming they're the ones paying for your school? It would be rude to not listen and make them pay for you!
Also, you may eventually break up with your boyfriend regardless if you go to London with him rightaway. Your parents will always be there for you.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Do your thing. There will be other guys. He obviously can't wait and he's intimidated by your intelligence.
Long distance relationships sometimes make the heart grow fonder. He's using that as an excuse to have a live-in bed mate.
Sorry sweetie, that's how I see it.
talk to somebody
both sides are selfish. why cant you have own decision?
stop following other people.
TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do what your parents are asking. I think the reason why they may want you to stay there another year is to see if your relationship can survive you two being apart. As you may know%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;many relationships end when kids go off to collage. SO%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;if you guys really love each other, then you can wait the year and see how things go. LISTEN%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;your young. The chances are very small that you'll end up with this guy as your husband. I know you don't want to hear that%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;BUT IT'S TRUE!!! Believe me%26gt;%26gt; I was young once too. Do you know how many times I THOUGHT I was in love??? Listen to your parents. Believe me%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;their right.
I think your boyfriend and your parents are being selfish,to be honest. This should be YOUR decision, not theirs. Your parents shouldn't be forcing you to say. And your boyfriend shouldn't tell you that a year apart will destroy the relationship, because if he truly loved you he would wait for you to come if what you really wanted was to stay with your family for a year. Do what makes you happy and makes the most sense for you. Don't let other people influence your decision because if they love you they will be there for you no matter what.lipstick gloss
The problem is that he's got one more year of high school and by the time he graduates I'm going to be 2nd year in uni. Everything sounds great and well planned but my boyfriend keeps on saying how if I don't move in with him this summer (June 2009) that one more year is going to totally tear us apart because we have a long distance relationship and so on.. and the thing is that I don't know what to do.
My parents say that I HAVE to stay one year with them and then travel but my bf doesn't agree and he's acting really selfish and keeps on convincing me he's right. I do agree with him for some things but I also agree with my mom and dad. I know that my parents love me and I know that my boyfriend loves me, but I can't choose. I don't want to have to choose. And I really don't know what I want because I don't know what will make me happy.
Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Okay, I'm going to say family as you've guessed, but I have my reasons.
I don't think your boyfriend should 'threaten' you like that! If he truly believes you guys were meant for each other than a year wont make a difference!
Stay for your parents because they have their own reasons for wanting you to stay. Plus, I'm assuming they're the ones paying for your school? It would be rude to not listen and make them pay for you!
Also, you may eventually break up with your boyfriend regardless if you go to London with him rightaway. Your parents will always be there for you.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I need advice!!?
Do your thing. There will be other guys. He obviously can't wait and he's intimidated by your intelligence.
Long distance relationships sometimes make the heart grow fonder. He's using that as an excuse to have a live-in bed mate.
Sorry sweetie, that's how I see it.
talk to somebody
both sides are selfish. why cant you have own decision?
stop following other people.
TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do what your parents are asking. I think the reason why they may want you to stay there another year is to see if your relationship can survive you two being apart. As you may know%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;many relationships end when kids go off to collage. SO%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;if you guys really love each other, then you can wait the year and see how things go. LISTEN%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;your young. The chances are very small that you'll end up with this guy as your husband. I know you don't want to hear that%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;BUT IT'S TRUE!!! Believe me%26gt;%26gt; I was young once too. Do you know how many times I THOUGHT I was in love??? Listen to your parents. Believe me%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;their right.
I think your boyfriend and your parents are being selfish,to be honest. This should be YOUR decision, not theirs. Your parents shouldn't be forcing you to say. And your boyfriend shouldn't tell you that a year apart will destroy the relationship, because if he truly loved you he would wait for you to come if what you really wanted was to stay with your family for a year. Do what makes you happy and makes the most sense for you. Don't let other people influence your decision because if they love you they will be there for you no matter what.
Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
My family and I are Catholics, a form of Christianity. We don’t celebrate Halloween. My father believes the holiday is an evil holiday based around the devil. I couldn’t agree more, but sometimes…he takes it to a bit of an extreme. Last year the series ‘Twilight’ became one of the most talked about subjects in town…or at least for girls in their teens. When I told my dad I was going to buy the Twilight books he asked what is was about. I made the mistake of describing the series with one simple word…vampires. Ever since then we’ve been battling about it, and that was almost a year ago. The thing is, he has no real reason why I can’t watch it. It makes him sound very hypocritical and idiotic when he argues about it. Mostly because he used to watch the ‘Munsters’ and other vampire shows. Of course it wasn’t a problem…because that was “different.” See what I meant by, hypocritical?
Twilight had become the talk of the church, too. Kids wore ‘Bella%26amp;Edward’ T-shirts and what not. He believes that vampires are a symbol of evil, a symbol of the devil. I tried explaining to him the plot of the story. “It’s not a horror, they’re vegetarian vampires! He falls in love with a human girl. It’s a romance…a Romeo and Juliet sorta thing”. This gave him another point to use against me. “Good vampires?? Unbelievable! You see, Sabrina? That is the reason you are forbidden to be involved in this series. They are trying to brainwash kids into believing that vampires are good, and therefore, so is the devil!” He would say. I would sigh and merely roll my eyes. He had no idea what he was talking about. Even the priest at our church said the series was appropriate and yet he refused to listen. He is probably the most stubborn man in the world.
I would practically beg him to allow me to watch and read the series. By this time the movie had come out and all of the books had already been around for a while. So one day I decided enough was enough. I spent three days at a friend of mines house. We watched Twilight and I read the second book in the series, New Moon. From the moment I saw that movie I knew in my heart I had to convince him…someway, somehow. So I involved my mother in the debate. She always broke down at my begging. I think the real reason my father was afraid to allow me to watch the movie was the fact that I would turn gothic or something. Which was obviously not going to happen. For one, Twilight had nothing punk or gothic about it. And two, I’m absolutely petrified of any gothic creature on the face of the planet.
After a while my mother convinced him that she would watch the movie and if she approved, I would be able to watch it. Since he still refused to be supporters of the series my mom watched it alone and also fell in love with the series. Little did she know that when she gave me the news I had already seen the movie 4 times before then. I found a few copies for free on the internet, and then the time I watched it twice at my friend’s house. That time we had also watched the behind the scenes and cast commentaries. I was very knowledgeable about the series already. I was, however, very excited to not have to sneak around and watch it. So that afternoon my mom and I watched the movie together. She fell in love with it and I fell even deeper for it. I was hooked.
A week later we went to our local bookstore and bought books number 2 and 3. I had already read the second, but a refresher certainly wouldn’t help. My father was…unaware, that we purchased the books. To him I was simply reading. For the next three days I wouldn’t put the books down…I stayed up all night and all day reading. We went to a baseball game and I read. We went to the grocery store and I read as we walked. Everywhere we went, I read. Not that I was obsessed or addicted, I just preferred to stay in the tiny town of Forks with Bella, Edward, and the rest of the gang than live my life. On the third night, at around midnight when I was reading Eclipse, the third book in the series, he came into my room to tell me goodnight. He said, “Your really enjoying that book. huh?” He hadn’t noticed that there were two books and he most certainly was unaware that they had anything to do with Twilight. I nodded my head yes, not tempted to say anymore. I wasn’t exactly lying, just not sharing everything. But who ever said I had to share everything?
Then he asked what I wish he hadn’t…what book is it? Instead of saying ‘Eclipse’ I said “Twilight the third”. Which, as stupid as you may think it was to call it Twilight, it saved me from saying the word vampire, which would have made him angrier. As I said ‘Twilight’ I smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn’t take them away from me because I was enjoying them so much. He was furious. But he didn’t say anything more. He left the room after that. Then this morning when he came in to tell me good morning and I was still reading he made no attempt to hide his irritation, but still said nothing. Later he got intoFamily debate about Vampires....any advice?
Vampires are fictional creatures that can not hurt anyone.
They are not associated with the devil or demonic
possession at all. The person who should be talking with
your dad is your church pastor. Your dad has some
misconceptions and could probably benefit from some
more earthly intervention. Twilight is for entertainment
purposes only. It does not promote or encourage devil
worship. If your faith in God is strong enough then this
book should not be a threat to that faith. (Have your father read this answer) I work in a public school middle school
library. Twilight and all of the other books that came out
following Twilight were very popular and I never saw
any student become a devil or demon worshiper after reading the books. The books are fiction and quite safe. Hope this helps.Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
http://movienow.biz/details/mo…
HAHAHAHA im happy im jewish. and dont really care for religion much.
If your dad doesn't want you to read the books, then why read them around him? There's no reason to turn it into a family debate as you call it... there are way more serious things to start ';family debates'; over (divorces, drug abuse, accidents, etc.) It's almost like you are trying to get a reaction from your dad on purpose by reading them around him and then smiling and going, ';Twilight'; when he asked what you were reading. Even if you say you're not addicted, the fact that you said constantly read the books because would rather live in a fictional vampire world than live your life is a pretty sad statement. Since your dad doesn't want you reading Twilight, why not take that opportunity to explore works of literature that are actually worth reading?
i had neighbors who were Catholics and weren't allowed to celebrate halloween....but i am a fan of twilight also, and like you, i was hooked...i would read from the moment i waked up to the minute i go to sleep...i like reading those fantasy books, my imagination went to a different world with edward and bella and everyone else and i preferred that than reality....anyways, twilight is not horrible..it doesn't promote evil and the characters don't resemble the devil...it's just a romane novel that girls like to escape to and live in a world where ';the ideal man'; really exists...since your dad didn't get really mad just irritated, i would just keep on reading them...he'll lighten up eventally..good luck
this is problem with religion, the closed minds! halloween is NOT an evil holiday based around the devil, that's bigotry and lack of understanding. just like jesus is NOT the reason for the season. ancient christianity, in an effort to include pagans in their religion, chose december 25 as the day to celebrate his birth due to it's close proximity to the pagan solstice. but onto your problem. some believe that vampires instead of being evil, are infected by a disease which causes the blood to die, put simply. that's why they need new blood to replace it. they also claim that vampires do not need to kill, but like us humans there are both good and evil ones. but none of that matters because as i see it, your father has already closed his mind to debate. he's made up his mind and if god himself came down and disagreed, he would call him an evil liar. i'm not sure what your question was since you were cut off, but if it was about changing his mind, i'm sorry to say you have no chance! in order to change it, he'd have to open it and he's already made his up, regardless of facts!
Halloween is not an evil holiday based upon the devil. I'm sorry but what is the question? You go on and on about Twilight series and how you ';fell in love'; with them, and stayed up reading them. Yes, the series is good, but you sound a bit obsessed. I don't understand how your mom could love the movies/books, because she is an adult and the book are fantasy/romance. Your father sounds ignorant, for him to be furious over some fictional book, I mean who cares if there are vampires in the book. There mise-well be fairies in the book because neither are real. Vampires are not a symbol or the devil, they aren't real, so how could your father be mad about it? Maybe, because you are reading the Twilight Saga as if it were your Bible or something. In my opinion I think this is ridiculous. Not just your father and mother. I think you are being ridiculous because the way you are reading Twilight books. I mean you obviously have nothing better to do.
Twilight had become the talk of the church, too. Kids wore ‘Bella%26amp;Edward’ T-shirts and what not. He believes that vampires are a symbol of evil, a symbol of the devil. I tried explaining to him the plot of the story. “It’s not a horror, they’re vegetarian vampires! He falls in love with a human girl. It’s a romance…a Romeo and Juliet sorta thing”. This gave him another point to use against me. “Good vampires?? Unbelievable! You see, Sabrina? That is the reason you are forbidden to be involved in this series. They are trying to brainwash kids into believing that vampires are good, and therefore, so is the devil!” He would say. I would sigh and merely roll my eyes. He had no idea what he was talking about. Even the priest at our church said the series was appropriate and yet he refused to listen. He is probably the most stubborn man in the world.
I would practically beg him to allow me to watch and read the series. By this time the movie had come out and all of the books had already been around for a while. So one day I decided enough was enough. I spent three days at a friend of mines house. We watched Twilight and I read the second book in the series, New Moon. From the moment I saw that movie I knew in my heart I had to convince him…someway, somehow. So I involved my mother in the debate. She always broke down at my begging. I think the real reason my father was afraid to allow me to watch the movie was the fact that I would turn gothic or something. Which was obviously not going to happen. For one, Twilight had nothing punk or gothic about it. And two, I’m absolutely petrified of any gothic creature on the face of the planet.
After a while my mother convinced him that she would watch the movie and if she approved, I would be able to watch it. Since he still refused to be supporters of the series my mom watched it alone and also fell in love with the series. Little did she know that when she gave me the news I had already seen the movie 4 times before then. I found a few copies for free on the internet, and then the time I watched it twice at my friend’s house. That time we had also watched the behind the scenes and cast commentaries. I was very knowledgeable about the series already. I was, however, very excited to not have to sneak around and watch it. So that afternoon my mom and I watched the movie together. She fell in love with it and I fell even deeper for it. I was hooked.
A week later we went to our local bookstore and bought books number 2 and 3. I had already read the second, but a refresher certainly wouldn’t help. My father was…unaware, that we purchased the books. To him I was simply reading. For the next three days I wouldn’t put the books down…I stayed up all night and all day reading. We went to a baseball game and I read. We went to the grocery store and I read as we walked. Everywhere we went, I read. Not that I was obsessed or addicted, I just preferred to stay in the tiny town of Forks with Bella, Edward, and the rest of the gang than live my life. On the third night, at around midnight when I was reading Eclipse, the third book in the series, he came into my room to tell me goodnight. He said, “Your really enjoying that book. huh?” He hadn’t noticed that there were two books and he most certainly was unaware that they had anything to do with Twilight. I nodded my head yes, not tempted to say anymore. I wasn’t exactly lying, just not sharing everything. But who ever said I had to share everything?
Then he asked what I wish he hadn’t…what book is it? Instead of saying ‘Eclipse’ I said “Twilight the third”. Which, as stupid as you may think it was to call it Twilight, it saved me from saying the word vampire, which would have made him angrier. As I said ‘Twilight’ I smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn’t take them away from me because I was enjoying them so much. He was furious. But he didn’t say anything more. He left the room after that. Then this morning when he came in to tell me good morning and I was still reading he made no attempt to hide his irritation, but still said nothing. Later he got intoFamily debate about Vampires....any advice?
Vampires are fictional creatures that can not hurt anyone.
They are not associated with the devil or demonic
possession at all. The person who should be talking with
your dad is your church pastor. Your dad has some
misconceptions and could probably benefit from some
more earthly intervention. Twilight is for entertainment
purposes only. It does not promote or encourage devil
worship. If your faith in God is strong enough then this
book should not be a threat to that faith. (Have your father read this answer) I work in a public school middle school
library. Twilight and all of the other books that came out
following Twilight were very popular and I never saw
any student become a devil or demon worshiper after reading the books. The books are fiction and quite safe. Hope this helps.Family debate about Vampires....any advice?
http://movienow.biz/details/mo…
Report Abuse
HAHAHAHA im happy im jewish. and dont really care for religion much.
If your dad doesn't want you to read the books, then why read them around him? There's no reason to turn it into a family debate as you call it... there are way more serious things to start ';family debates'; over (divorces, drug abuse, accidents, etc.) It's almost like you are trying to get a reaction from your dad on purpose by reading them around him and then smiling and going, ';Twilight'; when he asked what you were reading. Even if you say you're not addicted, the fact that you said constantly read the books because would rather live in a fictional vampire world than live your life is a pretty sad statement. Since your dad doesn't want you reading Twilight, why not take that opportunity to explore works of literature that are actually worth reading?
i had neighbors who were Catholics and weren't allowed to celebrate halloween....but i am a fan of twilight also, and like you, i was hooked...i would read from the moment i waked up to the minute i go to sleep...i like reading those fantasy books, my imagination went to a different world with edward and bella and everyone else and i preferred that than reality....anyways, twilight is not horrible..it doesn't promote evil and the characters don't resemble the devil...it's just a romane novel that girls like to escape to and live in a world where ';the ideal man'; really exists...since your dad didn't get really mad just irritated, i would just keep on reading them...he'll lighten up eventally..good luck
this is problem with religion, the closed minds! halloween is NOT an evil holiday based around the devil, that's bigotry and lack of understanding. just like jesus is NOT the reason for the season. ancient christianity, in an effort to include pagans in their religion, chose december 25 as the day to celebrate his birth due to it's close proximity to the pagan solstice. but onto your problem. some believe that vampires instead of being evil, are infected by a disease which causes the blood to die, put simply. that's why they need new blood to replace it. they also claim that vampires do not need to kill, but like us humans there are both good and evil ones. but none of that matters because as i see it, your father has already closed his mind to debate. he's made up his mind and if god himself came down and disagreed, he would call him an evil liar. i'm not sure what your question was since you were cut off, but if it was about changing his mind, i'm sorry to say you have no chance! in order to change it, he'd have to open it and he's already made his up, regardless of facts!
Halloween is not an evil holiday based upon the devil. I'm sorry but what is the question? You go on and on about Twilight series and how you ';fell in love'; with them, and stayed up reading them. Yes, the series is good, but you sound a bit obsessed. I don't understand how your mom could love the movies/books, because she is an adult and the book are fantasy/romance. Your father sounds ignorant, for him to be furious over some fictional book, I mean who cares if there are vampires in the book. There mise-well be fairies in the book because neither are real. Vampires are not a symbol or the devil, they aren't real, so how could your father be mad about it? Maybe, because you are reading the Twilight Saga as if it were your Bible or something. In my opinion I think this is ridiculous. Not just your father and mother. I think you are being ridiculous because the way you are reading Twilight books. I mean you obviously have nothing better to do.
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