Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm scared to come out to my Christian family and I really need advice! Help me?

I'm a girl in my early teens, and I've been questioning my sexuality for a long time now. I desperately need coming out advice.





I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm a lesbian. Ever since I was thirteen and realized 'hey - I think being with a guy would be disgusting!' and started looking up gay stuff, the one thing that worried me was coming out. I think my parents are starting to suspect that I've been on ';gay'; websites and listening to ';gay'; podcasts, etc. I think it would be easier if I told them then having to deal with being accused of it, so I've been considering it. HOWEVER - my parents are very conservative and very extreme Christians...so I'm worried that if I tell them, they'll do the whole 'You're going to hell if you're a homo!' thing. I've even done research on homosexuality in the bible, and have lots of things to tell them...if I knew they would listen. I'm shy, even with my family, so that doesn't help. I know they love me, but I feel like that could change with this. I need their support, but I don't want to deal with Bible-throwing or being sent to therapy. I also feel like coming out might be bad for my father's Christian music career and his ministry...if people knew he had a lesbian daughter, they might question his music sincerity or something? I know that seems stupid, but people ARE stupid. I'm having all kinds of issues with this, from sleeping problems to focusing in school





Have any of you had to get through this kind of situation, and can you offer any advice? I'm scared and worried and any encouragement would mean a lot. Thanks all! (Sorry this was so long...)I'm scared to come out to my Christian family and I really need advice! Help me?
My dad is a minister in a conservative denomination, but my parents were very supportive when I told them I was gay (plus they had already figure that out).





Coming out is scary, but living in the closet is worse. I regret I didn't come out sooner. Depending on where you live, you might find a gay affirming church.





A good book on the subject is: ';Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers'; I'm scared to come out to my Christian family and I really need advice! Help me?
finally a chance to share my knowledge. god created adam an and eve. that's it. for example we will call adam and eve 1 and 2. 1 and 2 had kids named 3, 4, and 5. 4had kids with 5. 3 had kids with 6. and that's how the world was created. by incest. i think gay is better than incest
May I suggest you start with





http://www.gaychristian.net





and go from there. You'll find a lot of information, as well a read personal testimonies of others who have come out.
Just tell them, what are they going to say? ';You can't be gay';
I had a similar problem except I was TS - I just lived a celibate life and threw myself into my studies. When I got out of school and was on my own I came out and decided that it was fine for me to live without my family.


My family still rejects my change, just as your family may reject your life. It has been 23 years for them to adjust and they never have, I just have had to learn to live with the fact that while everyone else has a place to go during the holidays I do not.


The best thing you can do is learn to accept and love yourself. You will find someone to share your life with someday and that will be special.
Well their not gonna get over it on the first talk. Lots of us know that, but compare how much your parents love you to the fact that they hate homosexuals. I recently came out to my Catholic parents, it wasn't pretty, but they loved me the same no matter what. Comming out to them will take the pressure of the world off you anyway!
i like girls and i am a girl and i have a wife at chruch. so u don;t have to come out at all. just ask god for guidance and he may find u a girlfriend. theres a lot of gays etc in my church. god invented the sexualities but u have to put Him first then the sex comes later.
Yes.





Don't do this to them.





First, at your age, you're a rage of hormones. You probably don't even know what being lesbian IS, much less are one. You're very young to be labeling yourself.





Secondly, your study of the Bible isn't going to change anything, it's still a sexual sin and no matter how much reformed information you think you know, homosexuality is clearly a sin. You've been raised better, you know about sin.





Thirdly, you need to be focusing on school, church, character, integrity, and being a good daughter to your parents. Sexual behaviors are NOT what you should be worrying about at this point in your life.





Lastly, if you absolutely must do this, wait until you're able to support yourself totally. Your parents don't need this heartbreak.





Blessings to you.

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