that is confusing and scarey i know i first met my dad when i was 21 and i know all the emotions you are going through and it will be okay just be yourself and ask as many questions as you want and dont feel guilty for saying what will be on your mind ..if you need someone to talk to about this been there email me and i can tell you how i handled all the emotions and questions and nervousness ...i dont know your story but mine was my dad left he couldnt handle being a father so my mother tried to raise me and couldnt i went to live with my grandma and when i met my dad for the first time i guess my question was why how could you walk away but anyways we got along for about a yr until he decided he was going to run my life and my first reaction was how the hell can u tell me what to do you havent been here for 21 yrs so i know it all seem s alot just take it one step at a time and one day at a time it will be okayIm 16 %26amp; my birth family just found me yesterday, any advice/help? =[ im so comfused %26amp; scared!!!!?
You do not have to see them if you do not want to. Tell your parents what you want to do. After all they are the ones who have been raising you and you owe them that allegiance.Im 16 %26amp; my birth family just found me yesterday, any advice/help? =[ im so comfused %26amp; scared!!!!?
LOOK at it this way. They were looking for you so they must want a relationship with you take it slow and maybe ask questions that you are comfortable asking them. Just take it one day at a time and get to know them. Give them a chance that is all you can do. GOOD LUCK.
hi there
HEY I HAVE NOT FOUND MY FAMILY AND I AM 46 MAYBE THAT'S THE SAME WAY I FEEL SCARE AT MY AGE . BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S GOOD THAT YOU KNOW YOUR REAL FAMILY CAUSE IF YOU EVER HAVE KIDS YOU WOULD NOT WANT THEM TO MARRIED OR EVEN FALL IN LOVE WITH A FAMILY MEMBER. IT'S GOOD THAT YOU GET TO KNOW THEM JUST TAKE YOUR TIME DO NOT RUSH . DO NOT BE SCARE UNLESS YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DO NOT LIKE FROM THEM. LOVE BOTH YOUR FAMILIES YOUR SO LUCKY TO HAVE THEM . i WOUNDER IF i EVER GET TO FIND MINES. THANK GOD YOUR FAMILY FOUND YOU THAT MEANS THEY REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH TO LOOK FOR YOU. TAKE IT A STEP AT A TIME i AM SURE YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH BOTH FAMILIES IMAGE THE CHRISTMAS THINGS YOU WILL GET BUT MOST OF ALL LOVE .
BE WELL BE SAFE GOD BLESS
wow thats tough, i guess talk to them. but it must be hard for you. since your parents aren't really them. maybe it should be a time for you to talk and see if you can become good friends or something. because if they went to seek you out im sure they love you and they just wanted the best for you, which is huge on their part. they were probably young. be patient with them. Best of LUCK!!
You dont have to meet them if you dont want to. It is ok to wait until you are ready. I would also go talk to your parents and tell them how scared you are. My wife and I adopted two kids, and are also a little afraid of the day when they see their birth parents. You never know, they may be pretty nice. If not, you will always have your parents and a happy family. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Wow, you should be really glad to find the ones who made you. But I can see it is really confusing. If you have been living with another family and want to move in with the ones who found you, it will be really scary and confusing. It will take tons of time and you might consider counseling just to put everything back together again. if you want to stay with the ones you have been living with, your world will soon change if your parents want custody. I would suggest to live with your real parents for a few weeks or so and see how it goes. If you do not like the way it is going, tell them and say you need to be with the ones who raised you. Just remember, the ball is in your court and don't be scared.
They may be your mother and father but they're not you're Mom and Dad.
You should be happy, even though you have to deal with change. If they ever abuse you, call someone or somthing.
My biological daughter whom we gave up in an open adoption 13 years ago has a very foregoing relationship with us, so Don't be scared or afraid or even rebuttal. be yourself.. enjoy the time you have together..
However you feel about it is fine. Look at what it might mean for you knowing them. From a health care (future years) it will be good to know family medical history. As for why they placed you for adoption will be any number of reasons or multiple reasons. How you feel about should be OK-weird probably but still OK- Since the reasons behind your adoption etc where not explained I will just go with your parents who have raised you will always be your parents-that will never change-and your birth family will always be just that-your birth family and however that ends up looking is going to be fine. Set boundaries that best serve you and I am very happy for you to have this experience at this time...
Take care and enjoy,
Bc
It's only natural for you to feel that way. After all, you grew up without them, and you must have a million thoughts and feelings going through your head at a thousand miles per hour. Just take some time to relax and let it all sink in. You have a lot of questions and things you want to tell them, so it may help to sit down and gather your thoughts while writing down the important ones. Don't be afraid to let them know how you feel and also don't put up a wall by shutting them out. Everything happens for a reason and in the end, things can only get better. You can make it. Good luck
talk to your real parents about it. you know, the ones who raised you, not the sperm, egg, %26amp; womb donors.
Did you want to be found?
Tell them to get you a complete medical history of the family. That's about the most important thing that they can do for you.
You know who Mom and Dad are and should feel confident in that. Then again, if they're comfortable with it maybe it's worthwhile to stay in contact with these folks.
The important thing is answering this question: what do you want to do?
well this can be a very hard time tell them about you and what your like know i know when it happened to me i was ferious i also think that you should go to the school counsler trust me it really helps.
hi i am 17 and i did not meet my birth dad until i was 16 it was hard but he is trying because he did find you talk to him let him know but dont tell him to go away let him know how you feel and if you wish things were differt tell him
good luck
let me know if you know anything
And why is it an issue?
First, reflect on what's making you scared.
Do you fear they won't love you or you won't love them?
Then, learn to love no matter what has happened.
Forgive, if there's a need to forgive.
If they want to spend time with you, then spend time with them.
Of course, tell your parents about this too.
Be yourself when you're with them.
And... pray to God that He will shower you with lots of love and understanding. Remember, God loves you!
Don't be scared be happy you found them. Show them who you are and tell them about yourself.
it is very confusing and scarey because you dont know them and i would take it slow maybe talking to them on the phone for a while until you get to know them and then you can start seeing them when you feel comfortable with it ! and i would say keep youre parents the ones that raised you to be their too with you where you will feel secure ok so i wish you good luck and dont be scared
Relax! They probably just want to meet you. I remember a friend going through this. He was a wreck. Get you family to run interference for you and to protect you. Stay with them and be cautious about making any promises to your birth family. You will not know whether you want to know them until after you visit with them. Just keep an open mind. Sometimes these things turn out great. Other times, not. Just know that it will be your choice whether to have a relationship or not. Good luck. I hope it turns out great!
get to no them better but dont replace them with anyone u already no and love
Why are you scared? Did you know you were adopted? How did they find you?
Typically a birth family cannot just track down a child that was given out for adoption. There has to be more to this story. We can't help if we don't know the whole picture.
oo in whatever you do i feel you know what is best good luck
You have absolutely no obligation to these people. Talk to your parents and discuss this with them. Just because they found you gives them no rights.
Try not to be scared.
Yes, I'd imagine this would feel confusing.
Just take things at your own speed. Get to know them a little. You can decide whether you want to continue the relationship or not.
I bet it is a weird thing going on in your head.
It's up to you if you want to meet them or not honey.
Think of ';possitive things';. You may find a great relationship with them, and if you do, great..........but if NOT, you don't have to have them bother you. You don't owe them anything, except thanks for allowing you a life with parents who cared for you.
There may of been bad circumstances that caused them to have to give you up. Try and understand their story at least OK. Good LUck and God Bless you for having 2 families!!
it is ok to have mixed emotions. i mean for goodness sake you never knew these people for 16 years. remember you have the option to have a relationship with them or tell them you don't want to be bothered and you will contact them when you are ready.
good luck.
i think it woudl be important to meet them, blood relative, after all, are the ones who brought you to this earth. they might have had a good reason for not keeping you at the time. It may have been the better thing for you. i have a friend that would give anything to know her birth parents, so you should at least give it a try!
whats the big deal
They should have left you alone...
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