Wanting a Family Again: After Deep Loss...Helpful Advice Needed?

I am Missing having a Family! : (In process of a Divorce) But My Male Clock Is Ticking Like Crazy!?


Have you ever knocked over an ant mound %26amp; watch them build back their home at a crazy-urgent pace! Nature ...Right? I feel that's what's gong on inside me right now %26amp; I never 1nce thought that a man could feel a loss of a Family so Bad that he would almost immediately want to Start a family again!


But after I caught my wife in an affair....I Bounced and left her with everything she wanted (including her lover ( I can't call or go by my own apt. cuz ' he %26amp; she are there and our last conv. was very uncivil...So I am waiting on the courts....because she is so defensive it's a shame).


Now I sit alone thinking I hear my son's voice. I miss Him and the ideal of having a Happy Family. I honestly know I can't just jump out in the world start making babies with any woman....But that doesn't stop me from feeling such a loss! Is this a phase that all men feel when divorcing? I want more children now and I wish I didn't have these selfish thoughts!


Please give me some helpful advice.Wanting a Family Again: After Deep Loss...Helpful Advice Needed?
Yes, a good man puts his whole life into his family so the loss is devistating. Appears that you were married to a SELFISH person, your mistake -- get over it. Your feelings are based on your GIVING nature not because you done something wrong.





Problem -- now is NOT the time to be stupid, be a MAN -- get your act together -- WORK, WORK, WORK, and work -- you'll need the money. Don't let the soon to be ex push you around. Giver her what the courts says but nothing else. Nothing. Nothing. Always be prepared to care for your son and always offer to take over his care if she has rough times. Be prepared to help him because he has a SELFISH mother and SELFISH people do not make good parents. If you ever get his care get custody immediatly and then get as far away from her as you legally can so you can get this SELFISH ***** out of your son's life. The courts do NOT care about children they care about preserving the image of MOTHERHOOD.





Do NOT mount anything or date. Nothing good can come out of it now, you have to look out for you and your son first.





Rember work, work, and more work. The soul food of a man.





Time will eventually tempers the steel and the blade becomes stronger. You will become a better man if you keep your foolish emothions at bay. Let her F.. this guy or any other one she wants.





I lost my mobile home, all my money and got all the bills.





15-years after being in your shoes I have a family with a son 8 and daughter 6. Both are straight A students. We live in a 3,000 sq foot home in Vegas drive a big SUV, we own a boat, pool the whole bit. I vacation up to four times a year. I keep my debt low and my house had doubled in value. This year I'll make about 170K. I have a good wife that is giving and has morals.





As a good friend told me, do you know why divorses are so expensive -- they are worth it. That divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.





So the good life helps keep you good looking and I will say that I like the looks of my family in the mirror, my ex looks like a hag and has a hags life to go with it, she is still bitter and vandictive.





I never ever talk to her and it gives me great pleasure not to do so. Revenge is sweet and sucess is the sweetest revenge I know. Rember she is a SELFISH B and your sucess will drive her nuts.





Your story can be as beautiful as this if you can keep your head together, focus on working, and building a new family someday when the time and person is right. It will happen. you just have to work, work, work and be patient and picky (for that next one -- rember look for selflessness in the next one)Wanting a Family Again: After Deep Loss...Helpful Advice Needed?
Concentrate on the son you have right now. By you staying away he will think you don't care. Get ahold of your ex and tell her you want to see your son. If that is not a option, go through the courts. They really can help. If you really are ready for a new family then start looking for a good girl. But are you looking for a new family, or the contented safe surrounded by loved ones feeling? Talk to your family. There is more in the world than just your ex wife.
OK just because you aren't with your wife it doesn't mean you can't see your son. If you do that then that's being selfish. You can't also jump into a relationship because you are going to have serious trust issues so it wont work. Give it a little time work on what's going on right now, and try to go see your son because he's going to need a father in his life, and if you don't do what's right now you are going to regret it. The right women will come along then you can start building your new family again. Good Luck!
I am so sorry. You are a true family man and there are women out there that would very much appreciate you. Hang on a little longer and something will happen. Best wishes.
Right now you are in mourning, but you will feel better with time after you adjust more to the situation.


You make it sound like you will never meet another woman or have any more offspring.


You wife sounds like a selfish b*tch who I hope wakes up and realizes how many people she has hurt from her affair.


I don't know how old you are, but right now stay strong, keep your pride and by this time next year, you may have a younger, more beautiful new wife who is carring you next child.


Good luck to you!!
you are having these feelings as you are grieving the loss of your family.to rush into another relationship now would be a disaster.give it a bit more time.you WILL start to feel better about what happened in time.this woman has pulled your life apart,but have hope for the future,and you can be happy again.my best wishes to you