Monday, August 23, 2010

Advice regarding an ongoing family problem(s.)?

i'm 20 years old and was kicked out of the house @ 18. I've been struggling ever since as far as basically everything goes; because my parents just threw me out without having taught me a thing.





my mother is a very strong alcoholic and my father a very big enabler in her life. my mom is very emotionally abusive and my sister and i have taken the brunt of it most of our lives.





anyway i guess i just need some advice. my sister is 14 and already headed for trouble. she's already not passed the 8th grade, and i was the same way only i didn't graduate high school (i went to summer school.)





I have very significant anxiety problems, as well as issues with msyelf. I don't want my sister to turn out the same way. i wouldn't by any means give my parents the parenting of the year award...it gets so much more complicated than that but this is all i can fit so it will have to do. I'm just very torn.Advice regarding an ongoing family problem(s.)?
The best thing you can do for your sister, is be there for her. Show her that you will always be there for her through thick and thin. I know it isn't easy growing up with parents who are basically selfish...an alcoholic can only think of their addiction and for her you have to have some sympathy for her as she doesn't have the strength or willpower to deal with it...hopefully one day she will. As for you it sounds like even with your parents not there for you you have turned out stronger that you probably ever thought you could be. If you finished school by going to summer school it shows that you have dedication and determination to make your life better than what your parents have. Think of your experiences as lessons and learn the lesson and move on to bigger and better things! Life will get easier sometimes we all just have to struggle on before things go our way. But really for your sister to not struggle with the same things you have be a role model for her and someone she can go to when there is no one else. And lastly I don't know your background story but I'm sure your parents didn't mean for you to grow up in the conditions that you did...like I say sometimes they only see there problems and don't pay attention to what and who is around them. Hopefully one day you will be able to forgive them and hopefully one day they will realize how it was for you growing up! Just think positively as best you can!Advice regarding an ongoing family problem(s.)?
sorry to hear all this, right now that youre 18, youre basically legal, you can now work a full time job and w/ no children can go back to school at the same time. the key thing to do now is move forward w/ your life, this is very important as you endured enough abuse and can be hard not to think of this and let your past bring you down. as far as your sister goes, reality is that if you dont have a stable home/apt to take her in then you can only help as much as you can. pick her up sometime and take her only to places that are positive!! libraray, mall, zoo, sports activities...this will gain her trust in you and in turn she will respect you for this and listen to you when guiding her in the right direction...if you allow her to engage in negative activities around you just to have fun, she will not listen to you when you try and steer her in the right direction....all of this is basically just to say, ';welcome to adulthood';, it's up to you to make the right choices now and become a better person, you have a long way to go, make a difference and you dont have to become youre enviroment....you can do this, good luck!!!
Torn on what? Where's the question? If you are asking about your sister, it's not your business unless your parents let her move in with you and you take over the responsibility of raising her. Call Child Protective Service if you are that worrried or go talk to her school counselor.
You need to get some help for your self esteem first. You need to call Family and Children Services to get the sister out of there well you can. Offer to take her in after she's out and get some financial aid for her to be able to stay in a safe place with you. Then get her help through FAC's they offer all kinds of counselling services as well.


Good luck to you

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