I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?

I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?





So here are the details. I'm 16 and I have Aspergers Syndrome. For those who don't know, this syndrome is very very rare. It is almost a form of autism. Not exactly autism, but it is part of the Autistic Spectrum. It's a milder form.





The main thing about this Syndrome is that I can't have a social life. The symptoms are: anxiety, depression, lack of social skills, lack of social communication and obsessive behavior. I have all these symptoms and many more. The point is that I feel extremely anxious when I need to interact with people, I have no social skills and I can be obsessed with certain activities which makes me exclude all important things from my life. All these are symptoms I can't control so I see no point in being blamed for them.





The problem is that because of this syndrome I've been withdrawing from my social life more and more. I hate going to school and my parents don't understand this. They think I'm just misbehaving and that gets on my nerves.





-please see details-I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?
My son has Aspergers and knows he has it. At first he thought it meant that his brain was malfunctioning. I explained to him that it's just a different way of looking at the world and it's not wrong or crippling. At one point he tried claiming he was ';handicapped'; to get out of something but I didn't buy into it and we both laughed about his attempt at using it that way. Instead of thinking about Aspergers as a ';disease'; I think maybe people should consider the fact that people with it are able to focus on a task much better than non-Asperger people. It is just a tadeoff, you are a little less socializing in exchange for the ability to have intense concentration on one subject.I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?
Hi. I just thought I would answer your question as I have read a book called ';The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time'; and it's a fictional novel about a boy who has Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know if this has much to do with you but I thought maybe you could understand and relate to some of it? As for your parents, I hope they will understand you in time becuase that's what they are supposed to do, and I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Good Luck.
I am so sorry to hear this. You must be really frustraited and feel very alone. I think that your parents are in denial about the situation. They are probably hoping that it will go away or you will somehow grow out of it. You need to get help on your own if they are not willing to help you. I am sure that you can find some resources in your area and support groups for this. Hang in there you are not alone. I have a friend that has a child that has this and she is so much better now that she is on medication. Maybe a Dr. can help you. Dont give up and stay strong, good luck.
I didn't know about Asperger's Syndrome just until now...whoa. Sorry about that...do your parents actually care about you anymore? I don't know. Maybe they should actually help you with your condition. Maybe your just judging them and they won't help you. I mean I'd help you with you have if I could.
If your parents are not very well educated, they just might not understand enough about what they can do. It might help if you, yourself, had a talk with your doctor and ask him or her to have a talk with your parents and maybe make them understand more fully about what they can do, as parents, to help you more. If they are not capable of doing anything, again talk to your doctor and find out what you can do for yourself.
Duh, they should be helping you all the way on this. They need to pay attention to your needs now. You also need to work on this. I knew someone with a similar disorder, and while he could never totally overcome it, he overpowered it just enough to have friends and do other things. Perhaps if your family sees you trying to improve, they'll get off their own asses and help.

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F*cked up family situation? i need good advice plz read?

ok so im a college student doin the roomate thing..


well my stepdad was supposed to send me money for rent the 15 but he didnt have it


well anyways he called me and told me he talked to the owners of the house and told em he would pay him tomorrow morning...


well then he calls me and tells me that and then he gives the phone to my mom.. and shes like how much did he send u?


i was like what do u mean.. and shes like oo he told me he sent u money for rent.. well my stepdad does that lie all the time lying to my mom tellin her he sent me money when he really sends me money all late and not the ammount he claims..


well i ddint wanna cause any problems and i said,, well he sent me money only for rent.. and she goes like? oh he lied to me he told me he send u more than that and then i was like well he said tomorrow.. and shes oo ok..


so my stepdad calls me back sayin this word: ';you ';f.*ck*d'; me really good'; and he hung up..


and i mean is it my fault he didnt tell me he lied to her


i dont care backin up his lies im used to it i cant expect nothin much from him but he didnt even freekin tell me! and hes trying to bring me down for things that arent my fault.. i been crying for an hour im tired of he f*cking using me.. idk what to do idk if hes gonna send me money tomorrow i dont wanna get kicked out..


i dont wanna talk out things cuz that would only cause more fights and have them break up.. so i just wanna dissapear outta my familys sight and start a new lifeF*cked up family situation? i need good advice plz read?
First things first.





You must acknowledge that your stepdad is not to be trusted or relied upon. Everything interaction that you have with him from this point forward MUST be grounded in that knowledge. That isn't to say that you can't LIKE him, or hang out with him - but just like you have friends that you wouldn't borrow $20 to because you would never get it back, you have to admit that he has a problem. You don't have to tell him that you're going to do it. (Just like you probably wouldn't tell your friend the real reason you won't borrow them cash.)





Your stepdad is childish. Blaming you for his own problems is ridiculous, and you should not for one single second feel BAD about it. I know it's human nature to feel yucky whenever something bad happens when we're involved - but it's not your fault. I'm sure it never has been. He's a skeez. And if he hasn't grown out of it, he deserves to ';get f*ed really good';.





Make this not your problem - get your stepdad to give your mother the money. Your mother can then send the money to you. I'm sure your mother has more influence over him than you do at this point.





You don't need poisonous relationships like this in your life, especially as you try to start your new life as a college student.





You should also maybe consider getting a part time job, just in case things fall through, and you need some rent money.





Things aren't as bad as they feel right now - you're doing some great stuff by being in college! :)





Good luck!F*cked up family situation? i need good advice plz read?
get a job
I'm sorry, college is stressful enough without having to worry how you are going to pay the rent. Honestly, in this situation the best thing to do might be to tell your mom that you feel guilty getting money from your stepfather/uncomfortable/whatever, and that you don't want him to know, but would it be possible for her to send it from now on? Ideally, you would cut him out of the situation and just get her to send the money so you'd have less stress. In a perfect world, you'd explain the whole situation and you'd all talk and hug it out, but in a non-ideal world that might be easiest.





Also, explaining exactly what is going on to her would work well. Either way I wouldn't confront your stepfather directly, he sounds like a fairly dishonest man.





I hope things get better for you!

I hate my family and i need some advice?

lately i have really been feeling a lot of resentment and anger toward my family, which consists of a 12 year old brother (hes 2 years younger than me), my mom and my dad. my brother makes me feel like crap every day. my parents do nothing to stop him. he kicks me, i get in trouble for kicking him back. he calls me a f*cking pr*ck and i get in trouble for calling him an *ss as a comeback. its horrible! my parents do nothing to stop my brother from being such a jerk and it really pisses me off. its gotten to the point where i can't even stand eating dinner with them. is this just a phase? how can i not be so angry at them? any advice?I hate my family and i need some advice?
OMG i know I have the same problem except my little brother is 10 years old. He always beats me and calls me things like I hate you and stuff like that. It hurts my feelings and when I say something back like shut up or b***** . My parents get me in trouble. I told my parents how i felt and they didnt care. My parents also spoil my little my brother so then i went into deppresion for about 2 weeks until I got better I felt like I wanted to die. I would say its just a phase dont let it stop you from being happy like me. I now that your parents piss you off but hey their your parents. So just try to avoid your brother for a few days until youve relaxed a bit. And about your parents try to stay away from them for a few days to until they reflect and see how unfair they are treating you. Good luck( break a leg)I hate my family and i need some advice?
I know you don't want to hear this, but because you are older, your parents expect more out of you. They expect you to be more mature then your little brother. Your best bet is to learn to ignore him when he calls you names. I know it's hard, but don't lower yourself to his level. He's acting like a child. You are a teenager. As for the kicking, I don't know what to tell you. He shouldn't be physically abusing you. Just try to keep your distance. good Luck!
I think you should take the time to sit down and talk with your family. They might undersand where you are coming from. I know how you feel, I get mad at my mom whe she yells at me for being unorganized. My father always tells me that I don't don't handle the situation right and that I should have talked to my mothr first before storming off. That's the ame thing for you, you need to sit down with your family and tell them how you feel.
its natural for 12yrs boys to get aggressive and physical , you must understand that big changes are taking place in his body ,sexual growth and hormonal imbalance, these changes affect his behaviour , he will take some years to settle . you must adjust with him or just keep distance from him and avoid him , that way you don't give him opportunity to kick you or use bad language .


But your parents totally ignoring his attitude is bad and he can become a stupid jerk in future !
Please be patient. I know you feel overpowered, maybe your parents need a talk with just you and them. I was a kid once and hated when my parents treated me like a ';kid';. Maybe write a letter to each parent. Maybe have a talk with your brother too. Seems like your parents are too busy or oblivious to what is going on. I know we are only hearing your side but it seems they need to set your brother straight.
I think it's a phase. My brother and I did not get along until he went away to college. I still think my parents favor my sister, but as your grow up, things will change. And, if for some reason they don't, you can always move out when you're 18!
well im in a similar situation. just focus on the good. focus on going to college and getten out. but wt i do is i dont talk to them unless they talk to me first. all you have 2 do is b respectful to ur parents and ignore ur bro. i hope it gets better for u though
i would say just stick through it, i have the same problem only thing is im not an atheist. and you dont have to believe in jesus for him to help you. yes im sure it helps but Jesus died for you too so im sure he wouldnt ignore you in your problems.
Do not say anything to them. Refuse to talk. If they ask, just put down on a piece of paper that you refuse to talk to any of them until your brother is punished for the mean things he says.
it's just a phase,that you will go through more than once in your life.nobody can pick their family.just try to ignore the ignorance.if you can do that?then you will be alright.good luck.
My sister and I used to hate each other a lot. When we got older, we grew out of it. It is just a phase. If you need to talk to someone REAL (not Jesus), try a therapist or even your parents.
It is normal. But, I still don't like my family (I'm 30). Just stay focused, in school, and make somehitng out of your life...
I feel like that sometimes two. Ignore him then he will get tired of it. Hes just some little loser kid.
tell your parents how you feel and tell them how that makes you feel.
My Family hates me but I dont hate them Im just very sad about it


Go to Jesus He will Help you
suck up to ur parents.i did it worked for me
your parents seem to be favoring your brother because he is younger and you being older should know better. is this fair, no.





you have an option. you can deal with as is; you can confront your parents to find a way to truly fix by approaching them, you can go the extreme route and call the police to report your brother abusing you and your parents not doing anything about it to wake them up as your call for help. if it cannot be resolved because they owe you the same life they are providing him, then you can proceed in the direction you feel comfortable. it may take someone from outside the house to tell your parents they need to fix this problem. they may be blind to it all.
Well first of all... you're 14 years old and your acting like a 7 year old. I'm not trying to be mean, but you need to grow up a little bit. Your family and friends are all that truly matter in life.





Ok, you need to sit down and have a talk with your family. Without anyone being upset. Because you need to voice your problems with your parents in a mature way. I think a little communication can go a LONG way. From what you've giving me, it sounds like communication is the problem. So just go to your parents and ask them nicely if you can talk to them about your concerns.

I have a family issue I would like advice on?

I am 26 years old and 33 weeks pregnant with my 1st child.


My mother and I have never had a good relationship. She lives 2 streets away from me and has NEVER visitied me in 3 years. I told her I was pregnant and she seemed excited but when she found out I was having a boy she lost interested and was unhappy about it.


After that she made up rumours to our family about me and no-one is speaking to me anymore.


My husband decided the best thing for me was to keep me away from everyone as it was just too stressful. But now I am missing my family so much and dont know what to do?


I havent seen or spoken to them in months and want them to be a part of my life, but am frightened that they will just crap on me again!!


Would you write a letter to your mum? Would you ring her?


WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN MY SITUATION??


Thnak you for reading my saga ......I have a family issue I would like advice on?
in all fairness it really is your own decision to make,do you want to be around your mom or not...if she is all the things you say then i would really not want to be around her..and you still have your sisters so it's not like you have no family at all..yes she is your mom but she doesnt behave like one and a mother would never treat her own child llike that..maybe it's a lesson for you seeing as though you are going to have a baby...use this as a life lesson to have a beautiful relationship with your baby as he grows up and to accept and face any situation..and yes your hubby and baby are you family now..so stay away from her and let her be..at the end of it all..those are just words spoken by a bitter women and yes words hurt but the truth is for more reliableI have a family issue I would like advice on?
Your husband is unfortunately right. I don't know the reasons for her actions but your mom does not sounds stable enough to support and adult relationship with you. Some parents never are able to master the move from parenting to becoming a supportive life coach when your become an adult. You are welcome to send her a letter but I expect you will only find yourself hurt once more with her response.
I'll be straight to the point.





Why your mom never visits you for 3 years ? Is anyone guess.


Despite only leaving 2 streets away from you.


Your Q had simply creates too many Q for readers.


NO ONE can understand your saga,


unless you'll reveal more than we need to know.





And I don't think writing a letter to your mom will be able


to make her anger vanish.
no. especially cuza the boy thing. screw her. she doesn't deserve to be in you or your child's life. move on. love your child and he doesn't need a grandmother like that. Good luck and congrats on your new little man coming. I have two of my own and a crazy mother-in-law so I kinda know what you're talking about here. it's not worth the effort to try and make her want to be a good person.
ignore her dont let her see your baby. instead make her jealous and always have your husbands parents coming to visit and look after the baby.. another thing to do is let the baby go to your husbands parents house twice a week to visit. make the baby have a really good bond with your husbands parents and not a good bond with your parents
isnt you hubby and your child your family now?are nt they more important than others?u have live all ur life with ur hubby not mom....
well honestly i would leak something to her like where you are going and see who finds out so i knows been talking to her then get them to tell me what she said and confront her
she is still your mum after treating u bad?? She treats u bad all the time?????


If that were my mother i woul dnever talk to her again.
She's 2 streets away! go to her house and see why she doesn'y like you.
no uhuh no way
I would put it all aside for the duration of your pregnancy since emotional stress and turmoil has a really bad effect on a developing fetus. The stress chemicals cortisol and adrenaline always cross the placenta's barrier and have a negative effect on the unborn child. Every single time you get stressed the baby gets stressed and that affects his development. Chronically stress fetuses often have problems with brain development because the mum's cortisol and adrenaline affect how the baby develops.


Your unborn child is being affected by all of this. Put it all aside and concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy and looking forward to your baby. You're a mum now so protect your baby. A happy peaceful mum makes a happy peaceful baby. A chronically stressed out mum has a baby that can have learning disabilities and a whole host of other issues for life. Don't let your mum's behavior ruin this special time or your baby's long term emotional health.


Just relax and enjoy this time with your husband. You can work on a reconciliation with your family after the birth.


Congrats on your new baby!

I am having family problems and need professional advice for myself.?

I feel trapped and I am on edge. Just recently I got my 18 year old son back in my life, it has been a roller coaster ride. 3 years ago I got my 9 year old back. I am not doing too well being a mom again. I recently started my own business and it is stressful too. Basically all I do is work and come home to drama. My boyfriend works out of town some times but he has been home recently. Ok now that you know what I deal with in a nutshell. My 9 year old has recently started fighting with me physically when I spank him. His dad was supposed to pick him up yesterday and he did not show up...I am really needing a break from the kids and it has been causing all the little things to build up to where I have went off on everyone today. I just want to know what I should do to keep from doing this. Now I feel terrible for blowing up on the ones I love, not a good feeling. Should I go for professional help? I don't know if that will really help or if I will have the time to do this due to working all the time. Any suggestions??? To be honest, I really love my kids but mother hood is hard. Does anyone else feel this way? I know people say they love being a mother but it is stressful or is it just me? My 18 year old has Bi-Polar and ADHD and I see signs of my youngest son having ADD as well. He is going to be tested soon. I really have no idea as how to raise kids with ADD. Any feedback will be helpful.





Thank you for listening...I am having family problems and need professional advice for myself.?
motherhood is very hard





You need to take some time to yourself and correct your children, just because they has mental issues, it is not an excuse to disrespect you.





Set some rules and make sure they follow them. Some professional help might be needed for for the kids, and getting yourself some too will not hurt.I am having family problems and need professional advice for myself.?
It is really sad to know but one cant help by sitting so far so my suggestions will be to sit with him and talk frankly exactly what is his need and what does he want as being a working woman it i will be stressful for u to continue like this and if he does not listen to u then leave it up to GOD may be he will give him some sort of brain to think it over again
when you take your son to be tested ask if there is concealing or some one they have on site you can talk to or if they could help you find some one to talk to I'm sure they would be more than happy to help as a matter of fact why don't you call them asap and ask tell them what your going thur currently and they may have just the right person to talk to

I have a family issues that i need advice on?

well i'm not the mother(shes about 37) but i am her son at the age of 17 and i had a question on how i should talk to her about what she's doing that i think is childish(she's been acting some what of a teenage girl since the divorce with my father). A few days ago my older sister (she's 19) told my mom that she was about 2 weeks pregnant(she live's with her boyfriend) and she wanted to keep the baby which has it's positive and negative side. The positive side is that the boyfriend(he's 21) of 5 years wants to keep the baby too and my sister knows how to take care of a baby better then my mom knows how too..but here's the negative, she is 19, and still working with a fast food job and not even going to college.. that's the negative side. So when she told my mom that she was pregnant the first thing that my mom said was ';you can keep it your not ready and i don't want you to keep it'; which made my sister made and made me mad because our mom always told us to do what ever we want with our lives's as long as we don't go and ask her for help once where over 18... and that it was the first thing that came out of her mouth was about abortions.. and now my mom has been calling my sister's boyfriends mom and talking ';smack'; about how my sister would be fun fit to be a young mother and and telling her to tell my sister get an abortion too.. and my mother is telling my sister's future mother in-law about how bed my sister would be as a mother and how my sister and her boyfriend can't even save money and then she starts talking about out is my sister is going to keep the baby she wanted them to get married right away before the baby is born and the she wants $10,000(i live in a asian-american family and my mom always told us that she'll never follow the rules and she dosen't want anything from us when we get married) if my sister is going to get married to him, which i think is really greedy of her... so how thats what my mom has been doing talking crap about her down daughter, when my mother herself had kids at a young at (about the age of 15) and when her own mother did the same thing to her.. why would she do that to her own kid.. so please can anything give me any advice on what i should do? and please dont tell me to say nothing because im the big mouth in the family and i ten to say what ever i want...





and 1 more question's... why to some mother's miss treat there children the way they where miss treated when they where younger don't they learn from there own mothers mistake and the worst thing to do is disown this child when they should be some what of a support? I have a family issues that i need advice on?
Your sister is going down a hard road as she is without education and will never be able to earn a good wage.


The first thing she needs to do is marry her baby's father and comet him to the support of this child.


Next she needs to understand that her mother is not supporting her and may never approve of her..


Life goes on and she must become mature enough to care for her child and herself.

My family has fallen apart and I need advice...?

I'm 27 and I have a family of my own but my parents just got a divorce a year ago and since then I have been in the middle of all their stuff. My brother is no longer speaking to my Dad becasue of it and I am the only one still trying to keep communication with both of them. This is causing a lot of problems for me because my Mom feels like I am not taking her side. She also doesn't understand why I don't want my kids around her boyfriend much (I just found out that he runs drugs for extra money). I am considering moving to get out of the middle of all this drama because it is really keeping me stressed. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do?My family has fallen apart and I need advice...?
I'm really sorry that you are in this situation.





You need to make clear to mom that your number one priority is your own family. You can't take sides in a divorce - you love each of your parents for differing reasons, but love is something that cannot be compared or thought of in terms of taking sides. Try if you can to make this clear to mom.





Also, running drugs is serious business. You can tell mom that the only time you bring the kids around is when he is not around. It is in the best interest of the kids, and they have to be number one for you.





I would say let dad and your brother come to terms with things on their own. It sounds like you want to be the glue to hold everything together - and as much as you would like this to happen, it really is not a manageable thing to do.





Set up very clear rules on visiting with your kids, be prepared to use the word 'no' if something is not acceptable to you.





Also, find a trustworthy friend, or a pastor, someone that you can trust with your emotions. Your carrying way to much on your plate right now, and you need to give yourself a break.





Take it easy. Much love.My family has fallen apart and I need advice...?
You have no choice, no time. If you KNOW he's running drugs, tell her. That's an occupation where people tend to die. And occasionally people near them die.
Try a short getaway to maintain yr sanity
Definitely move. You need to worry about your own children and your own sanity first and for most. Your mother and father are adults and should be able to handle this dispute between themselves.
Go to each parent, individually and tell them exactly how you feel. That you are upset, you love them but you can't take sides. Tell them in no uncertain terms, you, nor your children will be dragged into it.





And additionally, tell your mom your suspicions of her boyfriend and that she will have to come to you to see the kids. Your first priority is your kids and if the situation cannot improve, do what you have to even if it means moving.
Tell your parents that their relationship and their opinions about the other parent has NOTHING to do with their relationship with you, and if they say anything about the other parent tell them you don't want to talk about it, and if they don't get the point hang up the phone (after saying a quick and FIRM goodbye), walk away, physically remove yourself from them, and only agree to call back, or come back when they can live with those terms. As far as your mother's boyfriend and his drug habit you have every right to keep your children away from that, and you do NOT have to be ashamed of it, tell your mom EXACTLY why you don't want your kids around that scum, tell her you love her and want to be around HER but if she wants to chose a relationship with this man over her own flesh and blood it's her own choice, you are just doing what any good mother would do by protecting your children. Move if you need, to I definately would!!! But I also know saying that is a million times easier than actually doing it, especially if you like your community and have a good solid job. If you have to do what I did with my mom when she and I started having problems, I would only communicate with her through email or written mail, mostly written mail, and I would talk about the kids and what they were up to, I would talk about things going on at my work, you know ';safe'; topics, after a couple of years of this we started to be able to have phone conversations, and I even invited her over to my house after 4 years, for Thanksgiving (I did it when I knew there would be other people around AND it was my terf, she knew from experience I had NO qualms about pitching her out of my house if it came to that). You might have to do the same thing with your parents, tell them you love them, and you want a good relationship with each them, and this is NOT about taking sides, but rather keeping your sanity. I hope you find peace in your relationships with your family, and I hope this helps (worse case scenario go see a therapist, they will help you through this). Much love!
i am 28 i have 3 kids my parents liked to never have divorced..but that was because my father was mean..





Sometimes families just need time to regroup and talk things out


I dont know how you would stop loving someone..and how your family could exspect you to not want things like they was but divorced. Your still a child who represented there love at one time and it would be hard to forget that but at the same time i could see where your mom could think you wasnt on her side





Is there a way you could tell your mom that you want things to be as they was and everyone to get along and its not a case of who is right or wrong but that you love everyone and dont want them to forget this?





It is your soul responibility to see about your kids and make sure they are safe reguardless of your mom as sadly as it may sound..maybe it would be better to move away and give everyone some time so your not directly in the middle..





The stress can make it hard on ur family and ur kids as well..as it probally does.. I found that my inlaws moving away from me has made it so i have more time to think about my family and my situations and its not so much drama..





I hope something i said helped i know you must be hurting i am so sorry for your pain and i hope things get better and you find peace..once again..
You almost said it...........get out of the middle of it. Let them figure out their own chaos, you do not need to be a part of it.....just because you are related. You do not need to move to be able to tell them you cannot be a part of this anymore. It makes you uncomfortable and it is their job to not involve you in it. What mother wouldn't understand why someone wouldn't want grandchildren around a drug dealer???? Seriously, stand your ground and remove yourself from all of this drama...you sound like a very smart woman and don't let your mother bring you down just because she's your mother. You be the mother she couldn't be!!!
yes, stay out of it. tell ur mom %26amp; dad that u love them both dearly %26amp; equaly, and tell ur mom, that until she gives her bf the heave ho, u will not bring ur kids 2 her house. she can visit them at urs, but no bf with her. and explain y[altho she should know y]dont b a messenger 4 them either. if 1 has something 2 say 2 the other, tell them 2 do it theirselves. u r not the mailman. b firm and stand ur ground. and if u feel the need 2 move 2 get some peace, then do it. good luck .
It would be much better for your kids to get out of that situation. It really is none of your business anyway, except that they are family. If that is the only reason to stay, I would take one look at my kids, sense the chaos in the house and get the hell out.


It is not worth it.


Find an apartment across town and make it work for you. Think of your children first.


I mean, the man is a drug dealer...what kind of people will he be bringing home? And your kids are there???


I don't think so...





Best of luck to you!
God said, that when you get marry your spouse and your children become your family, your Mon and dad they become your second family. you need to worry about your family first make sure the are living in a safe environment. the only way you could help your mom and dad is to pray for them, ask God for guidance and believe and your prayers will be answer.


God bless you.
That is a hard situation
my best advice for you is to (if you believe in God) to get down on your knees and ask God for strength and wisdom 1st for yourself and then for your mom and dad. there could be plenty of reasons why this happening but the important thing is to listen. the bible says to be swift to listen and slow to speak. It also states that a soft answer turns away wrath. I support your decision in not having your kids in that environment believe me i have been in a situation that you or your family wouldn't like if drugs are involved. The biggest thing i can tell you is trust God that He will work ';HIS'; will not yours God doesn't work our schedule and will not start. So don't be selfish in prayer or you will end up disappointed.
Moving will not solve your feelings and a phone call is all it takes to get you right back in the middle of it. My suggestion is to first of all make sure that their situation is not effecting your own family, if there are young children a bitter battle is no place for them and it is hard to understand. As for you letting each parent know that you still love them no mater what and that you will not take sides. For the respect of you as their child that they had out of love ask them politely to stop putting you in the middle. It is easy for parents to regress to a teenage state of mind while going through a divorce. Please keep this in mind for their sake. Try to say only nice things and definitely don't intensify it by revealing to one what the other might have said. After time it will settle down just give it some time. As far a the drug dealer you made a wonderful choice to keep your children away and that is a much more serious problem that I would suggest talking to a professional about. There are hot lines that you can call to turn someone in anonymously so they can check the situations out. Good Luck to you and your family.

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I need to go to family court about a custody issue and i need advice please.. read on..?

I have 2 children with my ex and he has not seem them for a year because he was abusive with them in means of language and hitting our oldest daughter and she was only 6.. After that he said he would not bother the kids until they wanted to see him because they were scared of him.. I have physical custody of them and he only has supervised visitation on the weekend for 4 hrs...


Now he is taking me back to court to see the kids..


This is a bit of his history. Drugs, Alcohol Abuse, Violence..Just a bad situation and my daughters are both sacred of him because of what he has done to them...


My question is as follows: We have been to court before over and over again and he sees them for a month and then decides not to but i would like to know how and if i can obtain the records from when he got arrested for drugs and dwi..


He also recently had a situation where he was molesting his own niece.. Should i get a court appointed lwr ? Can i get his records on my own.. Please help...I need to go to family court about a custody issue and i need advice please.. read on..?
Ok, let's try to answer all your questions and give you some advise with out writing a book. I have been a child advocate for over 5 years and I see this kind of case fruquently.


First let me say, a court appointed attorney is ';a rule'; attorney. Some of the best attorny's I've seen have been appointed to represent the parents. So I would say save your money and us the one appointed to you. Their job is to work for you and look out for your/children's best interest if at some point you do not feel this is happening you can ask for a new one or hire one. But something to remember is they do this everyday, they work in the family courts. So not only are they familier with the situtations they work closely with the pros/judge so this will be a benefit for you.


You can infact simply go to the local law enforcement agency and fill out a request for the arrest reports on your ex, most agencies will require you to pay a min fee for the coping, another way you attorney can request it and ususally this would be free to them. BUT I would recommend you go get it, it will spend up the process when you know you are doing it. All criminal information is public record.


One thing you need to do is present evidence of the past abuse by your ex towards not only your children but also his abuse of drugs/alcohol (this could be the DWI) show he only maintains minimal contact with the children.


If your children are seeing a therapist have them write a report to the court stating the effect having contact with dad may be on the children and if he believes if it's in the best interest. Alot of time, if a therapist states it's not in the best interest of the children, the judge will NOT order visitation in fact he will state visitation will only happen when the therapist states it's in the best interest. Does your daughter want to see her father? If not have her come to court and state that to the judge.


Also, another option is to go to court and if you feel the judge is leaning towards visitations again, then have your attorney request the judge to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) this is a third party non-bias opinion on what is in the best interest of the child/ren. They are appointed by the judge and reports back to the judge. The GAL should/would do an independent investigation, talking to all parties, inlcuding the children, therapists, teachers, family members and report what is in their opinion the best interest of the children.


You stated he had supervised visits on the weekends, if the person who supervises is a specialist, have them write something up for the courts about how the visits are going.


I hope this helps, if you have any other questions I would be happy to try to help you further. Contact me, and I will answer them.


Good LuckI need to go to family court about a custody issue and i need advice please.. read on..?
I don't think you're being very fair to court appointed lawyers. The court appointed attorneys are licensed attorneys, just like one that you pay. The difference is who is paying them, and regretfully, the caseload. They often have a huge caseload, and are often overburdened. However, court appointed attorneys are also often specialists in their fields. Just like a public defender does nothing except criminal work, an attorney who is appointed for custody matters only does that type of work, as a general rule.





CAVEAT: I'm not aware of any procedure for routine appointment of an attorney in a custody case except when the state is moving to terminate parental rights. You may be confusing ';court appointed'; with the Legal Aid society or some such group, which is not the same thing.





All that being said, you need to obtain an attorney. This type of procedure is complicated and fraught with potential pitfalls. If you make a mistake, your children are the ones at risk. If you can't obtain a lawyer for free, you will need to find a way to hire an attorney. For a referral, contact your local or state bar association.
go to the court house and look up his name for past arrests. if he was arrested for molesting his niece than bring that to court also if not than it will be speculation and no solid proof. but the biggest thing to do is get a lawyer not a court appointed lawyer. the biggest evidence that will help you is to proof that you children are scared of their father because of the past experinces.
In the state of Ohio as long as the case is closed and there are no open court proceedings in the case (ex the old DWI , DRUG ARREST ect.) it is public record and anyone that is a member of the general public can obtain it. There may be hassle to get it if they know why you want it but it is a matter of public record do so research at a public library or the net for where you live and see what the records are on public record or call a local lwr and ask. As far as obtaining a lwr check your local court houses, prosecutors offices and evening job and family services ( child services / welfare) departments for att that will help with child cases. Hope this helps and Good Luck to you and your daughters.
With the history you described, it is very likely that supervised visitation will continue.





I am not familiar with the acronym, lwr. However, some jurisdictions allow for a court appointed special advocate, who is an attorney that advocates for the benefit of the child(ren).





You can get his records only if you are named as a victim in the reports or your minor children are the victims. His DUI and drug arrests will probably not be available to you.





Good luck.

Before deciding on marriage who's advice do you seek the most family or friends?

well, not the bartender because he's been soooo wrong in the past.Before deciding on marriage who's advice do you seek the most family or friends?
my invisible friend Kervik..even tho he is originally from Siberia and still learning our culture, he often dispells the most invaluable and benificial advice- especially regarding marriage i have found~

Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?

Hey everyone! %26lt;3





I'm so confused about which Humanoid album to buy and on top of that I'm not even sure they will be selling them in Canada! O_O





I want to be on the safer side and pre orderthe regular Humanoid album with 12 songs ($12.99) from Tokio Hotel's official website and then download the 4 additional tracks from itunes.





Does that seem like the most reasonable method or do you have any other advice? :D


Thanks!





Poll: Have you pre ordered Humanoid or do you have other plans?Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?
That sounds like a good idea. I might do the same, I have no idea if they are going to sell it in the UK....they didn't release Scream over here, so why would they now?


I might get it off the European website, it's only 13,99 Euro. So I'm planning to do that if it's not in any HMV near by. I would much rather buy it from a shop than online.





Edit : Again, I have no idea.....Scream wasn't even released where I am. But I'm praying the will sell Humaniod in a few weeks.Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?
I think that would be reasonable, except iTunes might make those songs ';Album Only'; and you'll have to download the entire bonus album in order to get those tracks. They're cheap and sneaky like that, unfortunately. It's happened to me before xD You might be better off buying the album with all the bonus tracks.





POLL: I'm not pre-ordering, I'ma have my license so I'm taking my best friend with me and driving to the CD store as like my first driving experience with no parents so it's more memorable :) haha.
That seems like a pretty good plan :]





Poll: I can't :[


My mum is prehistoric %26amp; won't let me pre order it....I hate her sometimes

Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?

Hey everyone! %26lt;3





I'm so confused about which Humanoid album to buy and on top of that I'm not even sure they will be selling them in Canada! O_O





I want to be on the safer side and pre orderthe regular Humanoid album with 12 songs ($12.99) from Tokio Hotel's official website and then download the 4 additional tracks from itunes.





Does that seem like the most reasonable method or do you have any other advice? :D


Thanks!





Poll: Have you pre ordered Humanoid or do you have other plans?Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?
That sounds like a good idea. I might do the same, I have no idea if they are going to sell it in the UK....they didn't release Scream over here, so why would they now?


I might get it off the European website, it's only 13,99 Euro. So I'm planning to do that if it's not in any HMV near by. I would much rather buy it from a shop than online.





Edit : Again, I have no idea.....Scream wasn't even released where I am. But I'm praying the will sell Humaniod in a few weeks.Tokio Hotel Family: Help, I need your advice!?
I think that would be reasonable, except iTunes might make those songs ';Album Only'; and you'll have to download the entire bonus album in order to get those tracks. They're cheap and sneaky like that, unfortunately. It's happened to me before xD You might be better off buying the album with all the bonus tracks.





POLL: I'm not pre-ordering, I'ma have my license so I'm taking my best friend with me and driving to the CD store as like my first driving experience with no parents so it's more memorable :) haha.
That seems like a pretty good plan :]





Poll: I can't :[


My mum is prehistoric %26amp; won't let me pre order it....I hate her sometimes

Moms,dads,family question i really need advice so help please.?

I hate my mother, she makes me clean up after her make me do dinner treats me like a piece of ****. She does everything for my young brother and i feel like cinderella doing everything and my life is exactly like that. I live in the atic alone, never gives me money never drives me anywhere only feeds me and i do everythign on my own and i never ask her for anything. My parents are devorsed my dad lives far away but he just moved into a really big appartment and i want to move in with him but she wont let me then she finally let me so im moving in the end of november. She told me i can't use the internet or anything that i normaly do i can only shower, eat and go out, no ones allowed to come over i only can go out and i have to tell her exaclty where im going.


i don't know what to do and i can't take it anymore.Moms,dads,family question i really need advice so help please.?
If your moving in with your dad, why should she care? I'm sure your dad is more responsible then your mom! Do whatever you want!!! In the mean time ask her if she will miss you. If she says yes ask her if she loves you. If she says yes to that tell her that she doesnt show it much. If she says no to all these things you only have 3 more weeks!

Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?

I'm expecting our first and we're both very happy; we waited a long time for this! :D





Trouble is, my grandmother seems to feel very entitled to my child. She calls me every stinking day (crap, I need caller ID) and while I love her, she's got me pulling my hair out.





She routinely asks if I am doing things she did when she was pregnant and when I gently reply that I am not, she acts like I am horribly neglectful and abusive. Seriously lady, things have changed in the last forty five years!





She came by from out of town and just sat on my couch and bawled because I told her no, she would not be having a say in how this child is raised.





The icing on the cake was just a little while ago, she called and gave me this weird ultimatum that we needed to get rid of all our animals (we raise our own food, for crying out loud!) or she would come take the baby away. I just hung up before my head exploded.





What do I do here? She is just acting nuts. :(Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?
She is acting nuts alright.





You are going to have to make it clear that while she loves you and your baby, and while you appreciate her concern and input, you are not changing your lifestyle for her.





Just tell her once... and if she comes over, starts crying just start running the vacuum and ignoring her. I'm serious.Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?
Tell her that her ideas sound just wonderful and you're going to start doing these things right away. Then do whatever you want, how you want and when you want.
She can't take your baby away -- don't worry. She was just being a babbling old lady .... I wouldn't let it get to you.





I find that with older people, it's best not to argue. It's best just to say something like, ';Okay, thanks for the advice, grandma, I'll be sure to do that.'; Then just let it go out the opposite ear. Chances are that a few days or weeks later, she won't remember it.





I'm wondering if your grandmother is just lonely. Is she living alone? Is her husband still alive? She may just be trying to deal with her loneliness, and it comes out in unhelpful ways.





You may also want to try limiting the amount of time you spend with her, till after your baby is born. Being pregnant, you don't need any added stressors in your life.


.
hahah just wait until the baby is actually born. Complete strangers will feel the need to stop you and tell you what you're doing wrong! Be thanksful she cares- and brush the comments off
tell her that you will try to remember what she told you and then tell her that it is your kid and you will raise how you see fit ( just please don't abuse it)
Obviously, you need caller ID. My mother was the same way when I was pregnant with my kids. Your Grandmother just has control issues.


Try telling her what she wants to hear and NEVER let her be alone with your child.


She can't take your child away from you as long as you provide a safe secure environment for him or her.


OR..... let her know there will be boundaries that she will not cross if she wants to have anything to do with you or your child.
if its causing u this much trouble just get rid of it. You can probably take it to somewhere in Mexico and get alot of money for the organs

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Helping a family in need... I need advice?

I have a large sum of money that was donated to help a woman that I work with. How would you present the money to this woman? Would you divide it into giftcards (Wal-mart, and Gas) would you give her the money?





The problem that I am having is this woman came to me and told me that she does NOT manage money very well. I want her to understand that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get this amount of money at one time. I am going to sit down with her and help her with her finances...





I just don't want her to blow this money...can you offer any suggestions on how you would handle this situation?





Thank you ahead of time for your helpful advice!Helping a family in need... I need advice?
Your suggestion sounds reasonably good. Sit down with her and help her work out her monthly expenses. I suggest you have the costs broken down into category such as food, gas, electricity and deal with the essentials first. I would then suggest you simply give her the amount on a monthly basis in order for her to meet all the necessary costs and avoid the possibility of her going through the money in a lump sum. Good luck with this!Helping a family in need... I need advice?
Long term investment with interest credited to savings account annually
I would give it to her through gift cards!! She already told you that she doesn't manage money well so you have your own answer!! She may not spend the money wisely if you give it to her in cash!! Giftcards are the perfect solution to your problem!
Think about her family needs and divide portions of money into different cards maybe even be generous enough to get a card wallet for each card. Then get maybe get a gas card, a shopping card, a car wash card. It will help lots!!


P.S. my step mom works for a thing called WOKC wipe out kids cancer. I help a lot with gift packets and fund raisers. If you dont believe me than go to www.WOKC.com
I would get a financial advisor to suggest suitable investment plans so the money is not all spent at once. There should be enough money issued to her to cover her budgeted living expenses and incidentals on a regular basis. Maybe she would like a nice holiday! She is lucky to have someone like you to look out for her. Good luck.
I would put half of it into sensible gift cards. The other half she may need for bills. Like utilities, rent, and things like that. Also, you could have a contract made up, to where if she accepts the money, then she has to provide receipts to show how she spent the money.
Tell her it was just that...donation, and that you were offered the job of handling her finances and that she has to trust you.

Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I NEED ADVICE!!?

I don't think that this question needs an answer because it's obvious that everyone would say family but I have quite a problem. I'm graduating this year and my boyfriend wants me to go study university with him in London. My mom told me that she would like me to stay with her for a year and study here and then for my second year of university I can move out, go live and study with my boyfriend.





The problem is that he's got one more year of high school and by the time he graduates I'm going to be 2nd year in uni. Everything sounds great and well planned but my boyfriend keeps on saying how if I don't move in with him this summer (June 2009) that one more year is going to totally tear us apart because we have a long distance relationship and so on.. and the thing is that I don't know what to do.


My parents say that I HAVE to stay one year with them and then travel but my bf doesn't agree and he's acting really selfish and keeps on convincing me he's right. I do agree with him for some things but I also agree with my mom and dad. I know that my parents love me and I know that my boyfriend loves me, but I can't choose. I don't want to have to choose. And I really don't know what I want because I don't know what will make me happy.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I NEED ADVICE!!?
Well, you don't have a choice. You already said you HAVE to stay with your parents. If your relationship cannot stand the test of time over a year then it wasn't much to begin with. It will be hard but it's only a year. And think of how much you will have to look forward to throughout that year and how exciting it will be to finally be with your boyfriend! Good things come to those who wait. And it's true. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.Boyfriend or family? Big dilemma. I NEED ADVICE!!?
At the beginning of the question I thought boyfriend, because how often do you get a chance like that. If you put it off a year you might never do it. The more I read I thought wow he is childish so your parents make some sense to me, however I still think you should do it but don't live with him I would ditch him live on your own or find a roommate. You only get one chance make the most of it.
ur boyfriend is just being selfish, i'd say go for family, i mean, its not like they don't want you to go at all, just to spend one more year with them, if ur boyfriend is so sure that just one year will tear u apart, then it shows exactly how strong ur relationship is, doesn't it? sounds like a high school kid that still needs a little time to mature
first u need to decide what u want out of life


what u'll choose and what is going to make u happy


u decide whether u stay or go


stop listening to ur parents and boyfriend


they're totally pressuring u and not giving u the chance to decide what u want.


its ur choice and if ur boyfriend really loves u and u decide to stay home


he should respect and understand ur desicion and he'll wait for u


if he can't and is making up excuses then u can find some better that will love and respect u ur desicions and the choice u take and what u want
You need to do what you want, not what everyone else wants. You need to take the time to think this over and which one will benefit you the most. I will say family will always be there for you whereas this guy may not be. A year apart may do you good, if you truly love each other a year apart should not hurt anything, just make your love stronger
its really your choice but yr family have been there from the moment you were born, and your boyfriend quite frankly hasn't. you should do what you think is right deep down. im not sure why he would pressure you into making a decision anyway. on the other hand, your parents cant tell you what to do at yr age!
who cares, it jus one guy tell him 2 f*ck off, hes not worth ruining the relationship wit ur family, besides london sucks and its 2 expensive
go with him youve lived with yuor family all your life go get him
bf
I don't think it's right that he's pressuring you and emotionally blackmailing you


obviously you're conflicted between these two units of love and their wishes and desires


i think that your parents have a good compromise


but at the end it's all up to you


what do you in your deepest heart of hearts want to do right now?


maybe you don't want either option! maybe you'd rather travel around europe for a year or go study in mexico or spain or thailand. don't limit yourself


i always hated those people who followed their boyfriends/girlfriends to uni for the hell of it.


i love my boyfriend more than anything but i'm not willing to stifle his or my dreams for anything.


you're young and you have a lot of living to do. so do it. your relationship with everyone will be stronger for it. and you won't end up resenting anyone at the end of it.
You should not pick what your bf or your parents want. You shuold pick what YOU want. If you are about to enter college then you aqre 18. You are a legal adult. If you want to move to London, that is your choice, if you want to stay where you are, that is your choice. Do what is best for you. If you really want to be with your boyfriend then do that. If you want to stay home do that, honeslty, one year will not kill either of you and if you really love each other you will make it work. Most important, listen to what you heart is tleling you. I tried to please my parents about a relationship once, and i fell sad because i didnt do what i wanted. Do what YOU feel is right for YOU!

Very frustrating family problem. I want your advice?

I am 16 and and only child ( I have half brothers and sisters) I am the only one living at home with them, and my dad is an alcoholic. He works and makes a good living and buys us whatever we want and his a good dad like that, but he is so mean when he's drinking. The thoughts and feelings that go through me toward him when he's drunk are horrible. I try to keep to myself because it really doesn't matter if I say anything to him when he's drunk, because he just has a drunk smart a$$ remark, and trys to stay off subject. My mom is awesome and she's the best mom ever and it bugs her that he drinks very much too but he's good to us in every other way and she some times thinks she would be happier without him but we would have money problems and stuff because she's only a realtor. Whenever my dad isn't drinking, he's a whole nother person, he's nice to me, and is really cool and isn't annoying, but when he does he bugs you non stop trying to come up with every little thing he could do to hurt your feelings and say horrible things.





For example my mom cooked dinner tonight and he tasted a shrimp and say ew those are too salty, and she had been working on dinner for like and hour and a half, and then he took a bite of tibuli and sais my sister makes the best tibuli and it really hurt my moms feelings and everytime we cry he laughs. He thinks he controls EVERYTHING because he has all the money.


My friends come over and he is so embarrassing when he's been drinking. I hate it. I want it to be over with. I can't do anything about it, but GAHHHHHHHVery frustrating family problem. I want your advice?
i know where you come from i had kinda the same situation growing up. the only thing i can say is that you can try talking to your father when he's not drinking (if you haven't already), but don't sugarcoat anything give it to him straight tell him how dissapointed in him you are and how bad he is hurting you and your family. He is supposed to be the protector not the tormentor. Then talk to your mother ask her to help your father by going to counselors and such to find out the best ways to deal with this issue. For my mother she had to tell my father that she would rather have nothing than to have everything including an abusive acoholic husband (by the way this is domestic abuse). Now for you, you need to go to a domestic abuse counselor and talk about these issues pronto. Trust me these types of circumstances really do some wear and tear on your emotional stability. Not just for you but for your future relationships and even your future employments and children you need these issues resolved. This problem can really change your perspectives on future employers teachers and your future spouse, anyone that can be seen as an authoritative or protective figure in your life. When you get old enough to be on your own then you have the power to say ';no!'; do not condone his behavior... say ';as long as you drink and treat me and my family like this I will not give you the privilege of having a father daughter relationship which you do not deserve. I love you, but I cannot tolerate this behavior'; your father might not understand or may even lash out towards you but if he really is a man he will eventually realize his mistakes and maybe get help.Very frustrating family problem. I want your advice?
I used to be in the same boat as you but it was with my uncle, who is now deceased... an dyes horrible thouhgts would go thru my head when he would get like that , FINALLLY i turned 18 and moved out! and life was soo much better on my own I could do whatever I want and I didnt have to deal with that anymore, all I can say is hang in their and if you can start saving so you can move out ASAP!
Sounds like my dad was. but he use to beat the hell out of me on top of that. But the drinking got the better of him and he killed himself 22 years ago. I tried to stay clear of him when he drank. Never brought friends over to the house just because he was stupid. If he doesn't remember the things he say, you may want to take a tape recorder and tape him plenty of times and play it for him when he hasn't been drinking. I did that with my dad,but that didn't go very well. But hopefully your dad has a better Sense of humor on it. good luck
Sorry your life is so frustrating. You can't do much except to gather some courage and tell your father that his nagging and his drinking are getting on the way of your happiness. He probably knows that he's trouble but can't quit drinking, if you feel that some honesty is the best thing tell him he needs help to quit drinking. This might not get him into the next AA meeting but you'll feel better after speaking your mind and confronting him. Whenever your father is drunk leave the room, stop the conversation, you and your mom don't need to put up with his crap. I always tell my birth mother that I will speak with her once she's sober and coherent but while they're mumbling and being jerks no one should be around. Your mom should also voice her opinion. You can't decide how she should deal with her husband but let her know that family life is not fun because of his drinking and that when he humiliates her you feel undermined and angry too. She's not setting a proper example for you. Good luck.
Force repercussions. Make punishments. Have an intervention. If there are no lasting consequences for his drinking, he'll never stop. Get together with your family and proclaim the house alcohol free. Tell him he has to get out or you guys will take action to have him removed.





I'm sure you all love the person he is and it pains you to see him destroy himself. Catch him when he's sober, and catch him all at once (as a family group). Try to be fair and supportive of any improvements he claims he will make. Chances are he has an emotional dependence on alcohol and needs counseling. Suggest this to the family.





Remind him that you will love him no matter what, but when he drinks, he hurts not just himself but everyone around him. If he loves you and the rest of his family, he will be open to changing his behavior.

Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?

I have a b/f of 5 yrs (living together 4yrs). His exwife n him were too close when I met him. I believe they were each others optional sex if no one was available. When we got serious n he asked me to move from my state to his with my 5 kids I told him there would have to be boundaries set b/w him n xwife. I also had the same boundaries with my xhusband. I accepted the boundaries but found out after moving in with him that he did not. After witnessing exactly how close they were I told him I was leaving. He then talked to his x n explained she'd have to take 2nd place, no more 7am phone calls to ';chat'; and he'd need his key back to his house so she couldn't just walk in anymore whenever she felt like it. His fam didn't like her. I was able to go to his parents or sisters for advice. I had/have NO one here in his state. For 3.5 yrs I tolerated this issue but once I bought my own house a yr ago n found that he moved naked pics of his xwife to our new home...I flipped. more details...Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?
This seems more like an ex problem more than an in law problem. I'll wait for the added details......................





After reading all of that, I'm left wondering why in the world you would fight so hard for this guy.He's still hung up on his ex, his family hates you, he has nothing to do with your family, and you feel isolated and alone. Is there anything good here? It seems like it got turned into a competition that you became bound and determined to win and he was the prize, now that you have own, you aren't happy. You need to really evaluate your relationship. Are you staying because you love him so much and because he is such a great guy, or are you staying just to prove everyone wrong? Because the way it sounds now, with the details you have given, it seems like this is more about winning, than it is about love.


If you are staying for love, then you should go with him to his reunion. How will his family ever change their way of thinking if you avoid them forever. If his ex is there, that's not his fault, but if you are willing to leave him over it, then maybe that's what you should do anyway. Leave him and try to find a relationship where everyone is on equal footing. This one seems very lop sided to me.Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?
I agree. He is divorced from his ex for a reason, but somehow all of that got lost somewhere.

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it is time to let this dud go...and he can take his pics with him....


no questions asked, I don't need anymore info... get rid of him. this is behaviour that is repeating itself... it will not stop , no matter what you do.


get him out of your life and find a real man not a perve....
If he loves you everything about the ex has to go! The ex needs to be put in her place and so does the family. This is your boyfriends total responsibility and he needs to make that clear to everyone. If the family wants him to keep coming around which at these times include you then they should be told by him to respect his relationship concerning you. No one here can do anymore than he allows them to. The ex is an ex for a reason and she needs to move on with her life. Your boyfriend asked you to be in his life with your 5 children........when he proposed this anything to do with the ex including the naked pictures should have be disposed of. His relationship with his children does not have to include her. He can have a personal relationship with them that involves you. I would feel that I had two choices here......1. Remove myself from the entire situation if things don't change 2. Give him the choice to move with you and the children and relocate as far away as possible from everyone. I could also refuse to associate with anyone that puts stress on my life and does not treat me the way I deserve to be treated. You have to think about your children and how this affects them........if mom is unhappy they will pick up on this very fast. I realize that you have alot of emotions and feelings riding on this relationship but if things are not right you cannot allow others to emotionally abuse you. After all these years things should be different and they are not and you are caught up in a mess. I would never want to be around people that had no respect for me and treated me badly. No one should have to accept this trying to have a decent relationship with anybody. You are trying to have a life here and stability for your family and they all have issues and problems about their past. Just because I love someone doesn't mean they are good for me in my life and it doesn't mean I have to tollerate things that they can change but choose not to for me to stay around. You have to decide all of this within yourself and choose what is best for your life and family. Weigh out the good and the bad and see if it is all worth it sweetie. Take care.
I dont understand what are you asking? He told his ex she would have to take second place? no ther is no place for her anymore, that's why they got a divorce,
I would refoucus and forget about the inlaws for a second...and more on your kids and think ifyou really want a guy like this around them.





He cant make up his mind on anything, how are your kids going to develop a trusting relationship with this guy if you cant..
I agree with the answerers who believe that it is NOT an issue that is solely resting on the shoulders of the in-laws.





Your B/F has a bigger responsibility in all of this.This guy is not worth your time! He has disrepescted you and treated you like a doormat, and heaven knows what the future holds. I'm not sure whether he has a heart for you. And please don't tell me his ex had a key to both your house too??? OMG!!





Please, leave this cheating , dishonest prick and settle for somebody who treats you for your woman's worth. Thank God you're are not married, and get out as easy as a woman with no legal ties. And i don't believe he had a meaningful commitment with you either for sharing his life and your things wit the ex,





Good Luck !
Why would you stay? Why would you move your family to be with this guy? You have two choices. Stay there and live with the kids and dump the guy or move back to your original state and live your life. Both do not include this guy. Get rid of him. He is too much into his ex and will never change.





Good Luck.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GET OUT NOW TELL HIM YOU GIVE UP YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS FIRST ITS NOT HEALTHY FOR THEM TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN HIS LIFE EVEN WHEN HIS KIDS GET OLDER THEY WILL BE TOGETHER AT THEIR CHILDREN'S GRADUATIONS, WEDDINGS GRAND KIDS BIRTHS AND BIRTHDAYS WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PUT YOURSELF THROUGH ALL THE PAIN AS WELL AS YOUR KIDS.
I din't even finish reading the whole question because i already know the answer. From experience get out of that realtionship ASAP. I just left the father of my child because of those issues. I am not going to play second fiddle to anyone. Life is too short. Please realize that while he may claim things have changed, they haven't.


Good luck!

My family is interfering too much...advice?

Here is the thing...I'm thinking of moving to Tucson, AZ because of a boyfriend. Tucson wouldn't be bad I suppose. I could transfer to an even better school there, University of Arizona. I'm only going to a community college now and so it would be a much better change. I have no job at the moment because where I live in job market sucks! And I do hate the snow so that would also be a nice change. It is so far away from my family, about 2000 miles. I still live with my parents which is a big seller in leaving. I do love him...I guess. I don't know. Even if this relationship doesn't have a future I could possibly see myself in Arizona and if not there is LA which I don't think is too far. I never really thought about it until I found out he was leaving. Good idea? No? My family thinks its a terrible idea and that I should stay close just in case I get an attack. You see I have anxiety attacks about being alone and surviving on my own. It's a scary thought for me. Please don't make fun. I want to do it and I figure if I go far enough where I can't come back I can somehow get over these attacks that come on so easily. I feel my family is interfering with so many of my choices and that my boyfriend is right. I need to get my own life. I'm 22 years old, yes I know I'm kind of old for living with my parents but, they still treat me like I'm 5. Maybe I do act silly sometimes but I feel I need a change and that if I don't leave I will be stuck in this dumb town forever. That is what my sister thinks. She said to my face she doesn't believe I will ever move out of this town or my parents house. Some role models I have huh? So...what do you think? Should I do it? I would have to save some money back between now and a couple of months from now but...that isn't too hard. I just really need some sincere good advice right now.





And I apologize for the long rant. I've just been holding a lot in but I do need some real advice. And I also apologize if I put this question in the wrong spot. Wasn't sure where.My family is interfering too much...advice?
i used to be like you have attacks but you know what when i did have one my man was there to comfort me and i felt allot better he would tuck me in back to bed or a nice cuppa u will not be on your own u will be fine it will be scary at first i was but after a week or 2 and you fone your parents and your completely settled it's really great after all good luck i moved away from my mom 3 yrs ago now and she still worries moms will Always be like that it's there job. when u are away from you parents have your independence you will feel more growing up and they will treat u like an adult good luckMy family is interfering too much...advice?
here this might help you feel better about the whole thing and put any doubts behind you. Good Day





http://www.picable.com/Concepts/Friendship/How-to-be-Happy.1082807

No family.....scared for the future? advice please?

Well, here's alittle background.


I'm currently 19 years old, I'm very mature for my age. I am currently engaged to an amazing man who keeps me going and is the reason I am the person I am today. When I was younger up til I moved out my family mentally nad physcially abused me. My mother screwed me over and over and over again. And even now, I have 2,000 dollars in a credit card she opened in my name when I was 16 years old, I have a phone bill that I owe 500$ on that she opened in my name and used for a year. My family always made me feel like the loser of the family, I never had a father, I stopped talking to him when I was about 13-14, and even before that we had no relationship, my relationship with my step father isn't nearly as good as it should be. I have a younger brother that I raised all by myself at 11 years old, I picked up a full time job when I was 16 to help buy him clothes for school so he can have nice things, unfortionatly its been about 6 months since we have seen eachother (because I moved out) we keep in touch on the phone. I don't speak to my mother, she mentally and physically abused me for so long and has done so much things to me I can never forgive her for (she's a pill adict) I am now living in my own apartment with my fiance and couldn't be happier, we have been together forever, and he's seen me at my lowest of lows and highest of highs, but I am also sad, sad that I don't really have anyone, only him. My friends are all back home, and I only have 1 best friend I can rely on. I talk to my grandma but she's just like my mother. And other than that I have no other family. Ofcourse my fiances family is wonderful, but there not MY family. I'm done beating myself up and thinking its my fault....but I just wish things we're different.





Any advice?


People with similar situations?





Thanks so much in advance!!No family.....scared for the future? advice please?
i think you should forget your mom and not talk to her again. continue living with your fiancee and talk to your brother when you can and try to help him move out of your moms place as soon as possible if your can :)





i havent been in a situation as bad as yours.. my mom sometimes beats me and i HATE her boyfriend but im only 14 so theres nothing i can do about it.





you're lucky you found your fiancee and i think you're doing the right thing! just be happy!!


hope this helps!


xxNo family.....scared for the future? advice please?
He's your fiance so they are YOUR family. Think of them that way, let them in. It'll make a huge difference! You could also try counseling or groups that have the same problems as you have. Being face to face might feel different then over the internet.

ink cartridge

My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?

I didn't go through an adoption angency, I have never seen them (outside of a baby picture once), and if I can find my brother, then I will find my sister.My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?
That's an excellent idea to contact the Montel William Show.





I THINK the telephone number is: 1-800-montel2





I looked at his website, but, I didn't see any contact information.





Good luck. Try this:





http://www.montelshow.com/tell/My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?
Try calling the Montel Williams show and tell them about your plight.





They find missing parents for adoptees all the time, for their show. It would be a plus because they pay for it and they are so good at it. They can find people that private detectives can't find.





That's what I would do.





Good Luck. I hope you find them.
Do you have your birthparents names, etc? if not the first thing to do is find out where you were born and who they are, alot of searching can be done after you have accomplished that.





Good Luck
sorry to here about your situation, its just put a lump in my throat! ave u been to citizens advice and asked them how u could find them? they must be able to help u! good luck and i hope you find them!! let me know if u do!
become a public figure ,surely u will get all.

My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?

I didn't go through an adoption angency, I have never seen them (outside of a baby picture once), and if I can find my brother, then I will find my sister.My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?
That's an excellent idea to contact the Montel William Show.





I THINK the telephone number is: 1-800-montel2





I looked at his website, but, I didn't see any contact information.





Good luck. Try this:





http://www.montelshow.com/tell/My family still hasn't appeared. I am still searching, if you have any more advice, please help me.?
Try calling the Montel Williams show and tell them about your plight.





They find missing parents for adoptees all the time, for their show. It would be a plus because they pay for it and they are so good at it. They can find people that private detectives can't find.





That's what I would do.





Good Luck. I hope you find them.
Do you have your birthparents names, etc? if not the first thing to do is find out where you were born and who they are, alot of searching can be done after you have accomplished that.





Good Luck
sorry to here about your situation, its just put a lump in my throat! ave u been to citizens advice and asked them how u could find them? they must be able to help u! good luck and i hope you find them!! let me know if u do!
become a public figure ,surely u will get all.

I wantto buy a house, i have bad credit, but my family has grown & i really need a house. any advice iam n dc?

quit kidding yourself. you don't need a house.I wantto buy a house, i have bad credit, but my family has grown %26amp; i really need a house. any advice iam n dc?
You need to work to get your credit score higher and come up with a big down payment. Right now banks are in trouble and are not lending to people they consider risky.I wantto buy a house, i have bad credit, but my family has grown %26amp; i really need a house. any advice iam n dc?
first you need two or more income coming to the house, second a credit score of 580 or higher, third atleast 5% down payment for the house. now if your credit is bad try to put at least 20 % down to show mortage company u r serious buyer.you also need extra money for inspection,closing fees, and lawyer. i would suggest u look for house that are cheap and are foreclosing. so ur mortage would not be so high. i hope this helps.
for me, i have poor credit due to some really bad mistakes when i was younger. in order for hubby %26amp; i to buy a house, we'll have to come up with a MUCH larger down payment, and have to pay a higher interest rate. but i think that we're going to try rent to own for a house.





see if your bank or credit union will work with you. there are people with a credit score of 450 that get homes, so don't give up! there's always SOMETHING you can do.


good luck!
Make an appointment with your banker and bring your last 3 years tax returns and a statement outlining what our present income is and let them do the math ~ they'll tell you what your situation or potential for purchase range could be.





Once the math is done and should be bank turn you down, you could shop for brokers in your area to find another place to mortgage you.





Doing the math first is important

BIG FAMILY PROBLEMS? Please give me advice (a lot of detail, sorry, but dont be put off!)?

My mom don't get along very well. We haven't done for a few years, and i'm always out the house to avoid her. Im 16, my best friend claire lives with us, we've privately adopted her. She's been here since the beginning of december, and i just get sick of seeing her all the time, every single day, and i dont really go out with her at weekends, which has really put pur friendship under strain.





And now my mom seems to favour her over me. All the time. Small things, like, they'll go and watch a film in moms room and wont invite me. Or they'll be in an in-depth conversation in the kitchen, i walk in and they both shut up. Its like claire and my mom have a real mother-daughter bond that i dont have with her. Yeah, im jealous.





And my moms boyfriend has his kids stay over on the weekend, 3 kids one weekend, one the other (different moms). Out of the three kids, ones a girl (Toni) and 2 boys (Little Ju and Michael).





A year and a half ago, i stopped taking toni out with me when i went to meet my mates (im 16 now, and she's 14) cuz every now and then she kept really playing up when she was out with me, and i got sick of it.





About the same time i stopped taking her out with me, my stuff went missing. At first i thought i'd misplaced one of my bras, untili saw her bra strap fell down at dinner. And it was mine. Other stuffs gone, but i thought i'd misplaced it.





When claire came, she encourahed me to look through her bag, and i found my mascara. So i took i out again. I went back out, leaving my newly bought caligraphy set on the side, which was gone when i got back.





LOADS of make up, clothes and even a few books have gone missing.


Claire's High School Musical dvd (i know, she's sad) went missing, and Little Ju said to claire ';oh has toni given you your HSM3 disc back? she borrowed it, didnt she?'; when toni didnt ask, and she was the last one to have it.





We didnt tell my mom, and the short of it is that me and claire confronted toni after finding expensive shampoo and conditioner of claires in tonis bag, and one of my books missing, and me and toni got into a fight.





Ju (moms boyfriend) went through tonis bag and didnt find my book, but me and claire are suspicious that she hid it in the boys room until they left.





i told mom about everything after the kids left, and she didnt know what to do. Ju wouldnt speak to me and claire for days and now we have to stay in the house every other saturday, and one of us is gonna stay in the room at all times to watch toni.





I dont know what to do about my family, mom wont let me move out, she hates my girlfriend simply because she's the same sex as me, i love claire being here but i feel she's pushing me out, my stepsisters stealing my stuff and apparently juliens been calling me all sorts if names like ';carpet muncher'; behind my back. I get enough sh*t on the streets as it is.





PLEASE HELP?! WHAT SHOULD I DO??BIG FAMILY PROBLEMS? Please give me advice (a lot of detail, sorry, but dont be put off!)?
Okay.


1) Forget the Carpet Muncher stuff.. Love your sexuality. Realize its a beautiful gift you have. You can love with no boundaries. If someones jelous or intimitaded by it, let them. Enjoy it.


2) Some relationships with family will always be strained.. But, I would say sit your mother down and try to talk to her alone. Tell her how you feel. That may sound CRAZY but it can't get worse then it already is.


3) The young girl taking your stuff may just want to be more like you. Maybe she wants to feel cool also but shes afraid to ask..OR..shes being bratty. Either way thats something you may just have to deal with unless you can try to friend her and see if that works.





If you want to talk about it more, you can email me.BIG FAMILY PROBLEMS? Please give me advice (a lot of detail, sorry, but dont be put off!)?
First try and keep your cool, this is going to take some work. See if you and your stepsister can call a family meeting, and put it all out in the open. Talk to her dad and try and see if he will talk to his daughter, Now if none of this works, then get a tape recorder, or video, and catch her in the act. tape when her brothers ask if she borrowed your stuff. get creative, send your mother a card, and ask her how the two of you can be closer, tell her you wish that she would think of you like she does your stepsister. Tell her that you love her.
ok i have some of these problems but here is what i do , i lock my room when i am not there , i don't talk unless i want to to my family and about the adopted girl just tell her no if u don't want to go out. about ur mother u can just do a few chores around the house a day and then go out so u do not have to deal with her well it is what i do
1) Just bear it..my life sucks as well and I deal with it. :| only a few more years till you can really get out of there.





2) keep all your stuff in your room and lock your room when you arent there, seems obvious but..just saying





3) You like your girlfriend and thats that, you dont need anyone elses judgement on that.





4) hang out with claire more, like make a plan and just ask if she wants to do something fun. idk, maybe she feels the same way? ~_^





and julien..if thats the boyfriend or the kid..remember, sticks and stones..just words. I would just tell him to go **** himself. lifes short, ya know?

His family treats me awful ne advice for telling him?

Well i have been with my boyfriends for a year and a half and he seems to never be home lately. He is always with his family and going home. He has an excuse every weekend. I miss him but i also don't want to go with him home because his family makes me feel lower class from them. They own a construcion company. Well i keep telling him how i feel but he just gets mad and goes off about how its all in my head and they don't make fun of me.. I dont' know how to tell him so he will understand how i feel? ne suggestions?His family treats me awful ne advice for telling him?
Know matter what you say to him, he will never understand because he is an inconsiderate jerk. Time to get rid of him.His family treats me awful ne advice for telling him?
just tell him no way to do it if you want he to understand you have to be straight forward seems like he isn't hanging around you much so thats the best way to go just tell him how u feel besides it might be the only way to get the point across to some guys

I need some advice on how to raise mone for a birthday family member.?

Sell things or find work.I need some advice on how to raise mone for a birthday family member.?
Birthdays don't need to be expensive. It really is the thought that counts. You can make your own cake, cook a special dinner, plan a special outing to a local park or museum - years from now these things will be remembered more than a material gift. You can also create your own coupons for things you know the person would appreciate - I love when my husband washes dishes or watches my child while I get together with friends. If it is for a child, take a look at familyfun.com for easy, creative party ideas. Spend time, not money.I need some advice on how to raise mone for a birthday family member.?
Hi


try selling something on ebay or at a garage sale etc. If you can't raise enough money then you could always try a few of the cheap birthday ideas in link below.


Good Luck
Hello lovely family.





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ink cartridge

Advice me , am gonna for vacation what shall i buy for my family to make them happy?

father: 52 years


mother: 48





Advice me , am gonna for vacation what shall i buy for my family to make them happy?
Clothing would be nice, but if they have any hobbies why don't you buy them something related to their hobbies.Advice me , am gonna for vacation what shall i buy for my family to make them happy?
depends where you'll be going..really.


but i'd say to send them postcards and pictures of you while you're on your vacation. that'll make them happy to see you having fun.

Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?

Okay, I went to my grandparent's house on the 4th of july. I was just sitting there and then my aunt is like ';So are you gonna have it all natural or an epidural?'; I proudly said that I'm gonna try and go for it all natural with no medication. She started going off saying ';You can't do it, trust me, it will hurt! Epidural is best! You can't take the pain. your just a teenager, you don't know how its like';


and then my 2 other aunts joined her.


I ignored, every woman is different, everyone has a different pain tolerance. I know mine is pretty high. and plus pain is just pain, pain doesn't kill anyone.


Then they were talking and asking me who I want in the delivery room with me. I said ';I only want my boyfriend in there.';


They got mad asking ';WHAT? WHY THE HELL DO YOU JUST WANT HIM IN THERE? WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM? OR YOUR DAD?.. uhhh teenagers just want their bfs only..';


I was like ';umm I would feel comfortable with only my bf there.';


and they started to say annoying things and I just wanted to get out of there, it was getting me frustrated.


I am 32 weeks and I'm gonna have my baby shower this weekend, I know my family will talk to me about all that again.





They are getting annoying.


and I really don't want to just explode and say something hurtful.





Has this happened to you?


Tell me your stories!Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?
They're being realistic. Labour is hard enough with an epidural, so I would seriously advise you do take the epidural, I know you want it totally ';natural'; but cop on, nothing is going to happen to you or the baby because of it. They're also being realistic about the delivery room, Labour is hard enough, you need all the support you can get, so seeing your mother is a woman who has been through labour , she knows what you're going through whether your boyfriend doesn't so I would advise you to have your boyfriend and your mother in the delivery room.





I know you didn't ask for advice, and I'm being realistic and probably thinking the exact same way as your grandma and aunts.Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?
don't mind them, i was 17 and had my daughter natural and i had my second daughter with an epidural, i have a high tolerance for pain so i can say for myself it didn't hurt at all, go with want YOU want
no , but i understand how you feel, i also want my boyfriend to be just in the room i wanna share that special day only for us + family members will always see the baby after.
you get annoying advice from everywhere. when they bring it up again, just tell them that it's your labor and your delivery and it's completely up to you. and then tell them to drop it because you don't want to discuss it any further. There are people that will tell you that it's impossible to go thru labor without meds, but yet there are people every single day who do it. just set your mind to it and believe that you can get thru without meds, but don't come down on yourself if you cant.


if your family doesn't let go of you wanting just your boyfriend there, ask them if it would be an issue if you were older and married. he's still the father, regardless of your age or status relationship-wise. and the hospital staff will remove anyone from that room that you don't want there. Good luck!
UGH! This happened to me! (and is still happening)





My mother wasn't able to deliver naturally with me or my sister. She ended up getting a c-section. I've been having normal pregnancy body aches and she makes it a point to say that if I'm hurting now I'll never be able to deliver naturally and all other sorts of discouraging things.





I figure it's worth a try. I was all about taking the drugs when I delivered, but the more I think about it the more I want to try without the drugs. Drugs slow down the labor and drag the labor out longer anyway. Besides I don't want to be all loopy and drugged out when I meet my baby for the first time. I say all the more power to you. That just proves what a string independent woman you are!





I also have my Boyfriend's Mother who has been guilt tripping me for weeks now about her not being able to come into the delivery room. I'm pretty modest and don't want his whole family let alone mine looking at my bits and pieces if you know what I mean. It's all about me, my Boyfriend and our Baby not them and that goes for you too.





Not to mention my boyfriend's entire family ragging on my about the baby's middle name. Trust me, it's never going to end. Everyone is going to have their own opinion. All that you have to remember is what YOU want. Who cares what they have to say. You deliver that baby naturally and prove everyone wrong and for the people who want in on the delivery just explain to them that you want to be as comfortable as you can for your first time without having to worry about anything other than your delivery. Then maybe once you've done it and experienced it all you'd let them in the next time. :)
good god girl looks like you have to reserve seats in the labor ward i live in ireland and only and i mean only if its too painful do we get the epidural and the parents don't come in only the partner the other family members can only at the woman's digression this is your baby your labor your birth your experience go do what you want they all have had their kids now its your turn good luck
well my nan is completely opposite - despite this being my 2nd baby - she was advising me not to have an epidural or any pain meds as it makes the baby come out 'dopey' like aha... yeah my son didnt, so my daughter sure wont





i think u should just tell them you have made up ur mind already and you know what you want - and nothing they say or do will change ur mind.





i would leave epidural as a possibility - dont rule it out completely - i wouldnt give birth without one but its your choice!
You are going to get ';advise'; from everyone . . . . no point arguing or upsetting anyone. Just listen to them, and thank them for their information they have given you and that you will think about it and then go and do what you want. Its your body and your baby so you have to do what makes you happy. Just remember to be open minded as a lot of things can happen during child birth and you have to be flexible. If you think you are being given a lot of advise now wait until the baby is born - it will be even more advise from everyone.
Yeah they talk but you're doing fine - ignore it


explain that you want to try a natural birth, if it gets too bad you'll take their suggestions under advisement


with you wanting your boyfriend there...i assume he's the dad? then he has every right to be the one you do this with - it's his kid too and they have to respect it - if you were older and he was your husband they wouldn't be saying a word...as them if that would change things - then ask why - that should not be easy to explain


just be the bigger person and keep your head together...but if you do explode you can always blame it on the pregnancy hormones! :)
I don't know why some people feel the need to give unsolicited advice during the time when you are most sensitive. Just formulate a standard response to shut them down. It is your body, your baby, and your birth experience, and it may be that they feel threatened that you are going to do something that they could not. Birth is a different experience for everyone, and as long as you get what you want/need from it, then that is what is important. You have two ears let their comments go in one ear and out the other.
Well they are right about one thing...It does hurt! I'm working on my 4th child and I could never do it naturally, of course, that's not to say that you can't. Every old lady has an opinion about childbirth regardless of if you are related to them or not and they are just one of the many annoyances during pregnancy. They also may think, even more, that it is okay to express their opinions because you are a teenager and in their eyes, young and naive. Relax, however annoying their opinions are, they don't matter. And it is your right to choose whom ever you want with you in the delivery room, so don't let them make you feel bad about that. If the subject comes up at your shower, just be aloof about it and don't voice your decision to them if they ask. It's really not their business anyway.
OK, well as for the people in the delivery room, they're f'cking crazy. I wanted my husband, and ONLY my husband with me. I don't think it would be fun (or in any way, shape or form, ';OK';) to have every member of my immediately family staring at my crotch while I was pushing my baby. That's just really friggin creepy.





As for the baby shower, these people are buying you gifts (hopefully good, expensive ones, LOL) and I assume that most of them have children, so honestly--just grin and bear it. And just think--you'll have to deal with this until the baby is born, then you have the next 18 years to listen to them giving you unwanted child-rearing advice. :D Seriously though, sometimes (even annoying as they can be) moms, mothers in law, aunts, sisters, etc. actually DO give good advice. So just take everything they tell you with a grain of salt and sort it out later. :)





And EVERYONE gives people who want to go all natural the whole epidural schpiel. My advice: take the epidural, LOL. Seriously though--you know how high your tolerance for pain is. PLENTY of women do it naturally and they live to tell about it. :) Going all natural doesn't make you a hero, and getting an epidural doesn't make you weak. If you think you can't handle the pain, you can always change your mind (assuming you haven't dilated too far. After you reach a certain point, you can't get an epidural if you want one because it would do more harm than good.) I went into my labor thinking I was going to do it all natural, because I definitely have a high tolerance for pain, but I've never had pain like I have with contractions. I imagine getting shot in the gut every 2 minutes with a 12 gauge shotgun would be slightly less painful. LOL Ok, just kidding. Seriously--if you do want to do it all natural, do NOT let anyone (even me, hehe!) dissuade you or force you into getting an epidural. You CAN do it, and you WILL live to tell about it!
Hunny, everyone and anyone ALWAYS has to get there two cents in about pregnancy, if fact if you lasted this far i would consider yourself lucky!





when i was pregnant with my first i had random people walk up to me and start rubbing my belly or people tell labor was the worst thing ever that id never want to have sex again.





let the peanut gallery say what they will just smile and nod and don't even listen....if they already had children, good for them they got to do it how they wanted and now you get to do it how YOU want to.


As hard as it is to ignore it or just let it go as your due date nears and you get more irritable you should try and always remember that family generally means well and they may not know they are saying something that is hurtful to you.





i had to remind my mother constantly. She once asked me how i could trust my husband to be gone for a weekend work trip. I was 9 months pregnant and just burt out in tears and told her that i trust him and she should worry about her own marriage instead of mine.





try and let it go....or try telling them nicely to back off
Sounds like because you're a teenager they feel you aren't ready. I'm 24 and I still get crap. I always thought that jsut my husband would be in the room with me, but now I know I want my parents and his parents there too because this is their first grandchild on both sides and I think they should be there for the big moment. With all the doctors and nurses coming in and out of your room the whole time, and the pain, believe me your parents will be the last ones you worry about looking at your area.





Plus I've noticed with friends the more people the faster it goes. Maybe because with a couple people it's easier to change postions, you don't have to do all the work by yourself. Of course it is your body and your baby, but I would actually talk to your mom about how she feels about not being there. Your mom is going to become your second half, especially if you're living with her, she's been through this before with you, she knows what to expect and your boyfriend will probably freak LOL. So just think about it just a little more before you rule her out.





My friends all thought they were coming into my room but I'm uncomfortable with the doctor even looking at me so everyone but the grandparents and the daddy are waiting in the waiting room for the arrival. We're also keeping them out there until we've had a little bonding time and I go clean up, then people can come in and see the little one.





Make sure you pack hand sanitizer in your hospital bag, and put it on your tray/desk when the babies born, people will get the hint to use it or wash their hands before touching the baby and spreading germs.
Yes yes yes!! People love to give advice aboutpregnancy and parenting. Ny own dad made the comment to me to ';pay the doc a little extra to do a snip snip job'; (tubal) I'm like its none of your buisness! Its my family we take care of ourselfs! He just has his opinion that two kids is ';enough'; I'm 31 I'm grown leave it alone. Lolyou have a right to give your side or opinion you don't have to sit there and take it. Just be tactful and mature or they will just label you ';hormonal!'; Ugh! Hate that too. Lol good luck to you
I had my daughter when I was 18, with an epidural. Then I had my son when I was 20 all natural. Honestly giving birth all natural was easier for me. Yes it did hurt bad, but once I started pushing I wasn't in pain at all. He was born a lot faster then my daughter was. Also I felt a lot better afterward. But that's just me, everyone is different. I had my mom in the room with me because my children's fathers weren't able to make it. Family members are always going to put their opinions in and it probably won't get any easier once the baby is here unfortunately. Just tell them you appreciate their advice, but you will make your own decision based on whats right for you.