Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?

Okay, I went to my grandparent's house on the 4th of july. I was just sitting there and then my aunt is like ';So are you gonna have it all natural or an epidural?'; I proudly said that I'm gonna try and go for it all natural with no medication. She started going off saying ';You can't do it, trust me, it will hurt! Epidural is best! You can't take the pain. your just a teenager, you don't know how its like';


and then my 2 other aunts joined her.


I ignored, every woman is different, everyone has a different pain tolerance. I know mine is pretty high. and plus pain is just pain, pain doesn't kill anyone.


Then they were talking and asking me who I want in the delivery room with me. I said ';I only want my boyfriend in there.';


They got mad asking ';WHAT? WHY THE HELL DO YOU JUST WANT HIM IN THERE? WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM? OR YOUR DAD?.. uhhh teenagers just want their bfs only..';


I was like ';umm I would feel comfortable with only my bf there.';


and they started to say annoying things and I just wanted to get out of there, it was getting me frustrated.


I am 32 weeks and I'm gonna have my baby shower this weekend, I know my family will talk to me about all that again.





They are getting annoying.


and I really don't want to just explode and say something hurtful.





Has this happened to you?


Tell me your stories!Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?
They're being realistic. Labour is hard enough with an epidural, so I would seriously advise you do take the epidural, I know you want it totally ';natural'; but cop on, nothing is going to happen to you or the baby because of it. They're also being realistic about the delivery room, Labour is hard enough, you need all the support you can get, so seeing your mother is a woman who has been through labour , she knows what you're going through whether your boyfriend doesn't so I would advise you to have your boyfriend and your mother in the delivery room.





I know you didn't ask for advice, and I'm being realistic and probably thinking the exact same way as your grandma and aunts.Family members telling you unwanted advice about delivery?
don't mind them, i was 17 and had my daughter natural and i had my second daughter with an epidural, i have a high tolerance for pain so i can say for myself it didn't hurt at all, go with want YOU want
no , but i understand how you feel, i also want my boyfriend to be just in the room i wanna share that special day only for us + family members will always see the baby after.
you get annoying advice from everywhere. when they bring it up again, just tell them that it's your labor and your delivery and it's completely up to you. and then tell them to drop it because you don't want to discuss it any further. There are people that will tell you that it's impossible to go thru labor without meds, but yet there are people every single day who do it. just set your mind to it and believe that you can get thru without meds, but don't come down on yourself if you cant.


if your family doesn't let go of you wanting just your boyfriend there, ask them if it would be an issue if you were older and married. he's still the father, regardless of your age or status relationship-wise. and the hospital staff will remove anyone from that room that you don't want there. Good luck!
UGH! This happened to me! (and is still happening)





My mother wasn't able to deliver naturally with me or my sister. She ended up getting a c-section. I've been having normal pregnancy body aches and she makes it a point to say that if I'm hurting now I'll never be able to deliver naturally and all other sorts of discouraging things.





I figure it's worth a try. I was all about taking the drugs when I delivered, but the more I think about it the more I want to try without the drugs. Drugs slow down the labor and drag the labor out longer anyway. Besides I don't want to be all loopy and drugged out when I meet my baby for the first time. I say all the more power to you. That just proves what a string independent woman you are!





I also have my Boyfriend's Mother who has been guilt tripping me for weeks now about her not being able to come into the delivery room. I'm pretty modest and don't want his whole family let alone mine looking at my bits and pieces if you know what I mean. It's all about me, my Boyfriend and our Baby not them and that goes for you too.





Not to mention my boyfriend's entire family ragging on my about the baby's middle name. Trust me, it's never going to end. Everyone is going to have their own opinion. All that you have to remember is what YOU want. Who cares what they have to say. You deliver that baby naturally and prove everyone wrong and for the people who want in on the delivery just explain to them that you want to be as comfortable as you can for your first time without having to worry about anything other than your delivery. Then maybe once you've done it and experienced it all you'd let them in the next time. :)
good god girl looks like you have to reserve seats in the labor ward i live in ireland and only and i mean only if its too painful do we get the epidural and the parents don't come in only the partner the other family members can only at the woman's digression this is your baby your labor your birth your experience go do what you want they all have had their kids now its your turn good luck
well my nan is completely opposite - despite this being my 2nd baby - she was advising me not to have an epidural or any pain meds as it makes the baby come out 'dopey' like aha... yeah my son didnt, so my daughter sure wont





i think u should just tell them you have made up ur mind already and you know what you want - and nothing they say or do will change ur mind.





i would leave epidural as a possibility - dont rule it out completely - i wouldnt give birth without one but its your choice!
You are going to get ';advise'; from everyone . . . . no point arguing or upsetting anyone. Just listen to them, and thank them for their information they have given you and that you will think about it and then go and do what you want. Its your body and your baby so you have to do what makes you happy. Just remember to be open minded as a lot of things can happen during child birth and you have to be flexible. If you think you are being given a lot of advise now wait until the baby is born - it will be even more advise from everyone.
Yeah they talk but you're doing fine - ignore it


explain that you want to try a natural birth, if it gets too bad you'll take their suggestions under advisement


with you wanting your boyfriend there...i assume he's the dad? then he has every right to be the one you do this with - it's his kid too and they have to respect it - if you were older and he was your husband they wouldn't be saying a word...as them if that would change things - then ask why - that should not be easy to explain


just be the bigger person and keep your head together...but if you do explode you can always blame it on the pregnancy hormones! :)
I don't know why some people feel the need to give unsolicited advice during the time when you are most sensitive. Just formulate a standard response to shut them down. It is your body, your baby, and your birth experience, and it may be that they feel threatened that you are going to do something that they could not. Birth is a different experience for everyone, and as long as you get what you want/need from it, then that is what is important. You have two ears let their comments go in one ear and out the other.
Well they are right about one thing...It does hurt! I'm working on my 4th child and I could never do it naturally, of course, that's not to say that you can't. Every old lady has an opinion about childbirth regardless of if you are related to them or not and they are just one of the many annoyances during pregnancy. They also may think, even more, that it is okay to express their opinions because you are a teenager and in their eyes, young and naive. Relax, however annoying their opinions are, they don't matter. And it is your right to choose whom ever you want with you in the delivery room, so don't let them make you feel bad about that. If the subject comes up at your shower, just be aloof about it and don't voice your decision to them if they ask. It's really not their business anyway.
OK, well as for the people in the delivery room, they're f'cking crazy. I wanted my husband, and ONLY my husband with me. I don't think it would be fun (or in any way, shape or form, ';OK';) to have every member of my immediately family staring at my crotch while I was pushing my baby. That's just really friggin creepy.





As for the baby shower, these people are buying you gifts (hopefully good, expensive ones, LOL) and I assume that most of them have children, so honestly--just grin and bear it. And just think--you'll have to deal with this until the baby is born, then you have the next 18 years to listen to them giving you unwanted child-rearing advice. :D Seriously though, sometimes (even annoying as they can be) moms, mothers in law, aunts, sisters, etc. actually DO give good advice. So just take everything they tell you with a grain of salt and sort it out later. :)





And EVERYONE gives people who want to go all natural the whole epidural schpiel. My advice: take the epidural, LOL. Seriously though--you know how high your tolerance for pain is. PLENTY of women do it naturally and they live to tell about it. :) Going all natural doesn't make you a hero, and getting an epidural doesn't make you weak. If you think you can't handle the pain, you can always change your mind (assuming you haven't dilated too far. After you reach a certain point, you can't get an epidural if you want one because it would do more harm than good.) I went into my labor thinking I was going to do it all natural, because I definitely have a high tolerance for pain, but I've never had pain like I have with contractions. I imagine getting shot in the gut every 2 minutes with a 12 gauge shotgun would be slightly less painful. LOL Ok, just kidding. Seriously--if you do want to do it all natural, do NOT let anyone (even me, hehe!) dissuade you or force you into getting an epidural. You CAN do it, and you WILL live to tell about it!
Hunny, everyone and anyone ALWAYS has to get there two cents in about pregnancy, if fact if you lasted this far i would consider yourself lucky!





when i was pregnant with my first i had random people walk up to me and start rubbing my belly or people tell labor was the worst thing ever that id never want to have sex again.





let the peanut gallery say what they will just smile and nod and don't even listen....if they already had children, good for them they got to do it how they wanted and now you get to do it how YOU want to.


As hard as it is to ignore it or just let it go as your due date nears and you get more irritable you should try and always remember that family generally means well and they may not know they are saying something that is hurtful to you.





i had to remind my mother constantly. She once asked me how i could trust my husband to be gone for a weekend work trip. I was 9 months pregnant and just burt out in tears and told her that i trust him and she should worry about her own marriage instead of mine.





try and let it go....or try telling them nicely to back off
Sounds like because you're a teenager they feel you aren't ready. I'm 24 and I still get crap. I always thought that jsut my husband would be in the room with me, but now I know I want my parents and his parents there too because this is their first grandchild on both sides and I think they should be there for the big moment. With all the doctors and nurses coming in and out of your room the whole time, and the pain, believe me your parents will be the last ones you worry about looking at your area.





Plus I've noticed with friends the more people the faster it goes. Maybe because with a couple people it's easier to change postions, you don't have to do all the work by yourself. Of course it is your body and your baby, but I would actually talk to your mom about how she feels about not being there. Your mom is going to become your second half, especially if you're living with her, she's been through this before with you, she knows what to expect and your boyfriend will probably freak LOL. So just think about it just a little more before you rule her out.





My friends all thought they were coming into my room but I'm uncomfortable with the doctor even looking at me so everyone but the grandparents and the daddy are waiting in the waiting room for the arrival. We're also keeping them out there until we've had a little bonding time and I go clean up, then people can come in and see the little one.





Make sure you pack hand sanitizer in your hospital bag, and put it on your tray/desk when the babies born, people will get the hint to use it or wash their hands before touching the baby and spreading germs.
Yes yes yes!! People love to give advice aboutpregnancy and parenting. Ny own dad made the comment to me to ';pay the doc a little extra to do a snip snip job'; (tubal) I'm like its none of your buisness! Its my family we take care of ourselfs! He just has his opinion that two kids is ';enough'; I'm 31 I'm grown leave it alone. Lolyou have a right to give your side or opinion you don't have to sit there and take it. Just be tactful and mature or they will just label you ';hormonal!'; Ugh! Hate that too. Lol good luck to you
I had my daughter when I was 18, with an epidural. Then I had my son when I was 20 all natural. Honestly giving birth all natural was easier for me. Yes it did hurt bad, but once I started pushing I wasn't in pain at all. He was born a lot faster then my daughter was. Also I felt a lot better afterward. But that's just me, everyone is different. I had my mom in the room with me because my children's fathers weren't able to make it. Family members are always going to put their opinions in and it probably won't get any easier once the baby is here unfortunately. Just tell them you appreciate their advice, but you will make your own decision based on whats right for you.