Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?

I have a b/f of 5 yrs (living together 4yrs). His exwife n him were too close when I met him. I believe they were each others optional sex if no one was available. When we got serious n he asked me to move from my state to his with my 5 kids I told him there would have to be boundaries set b/w him n xwife. I also had the same boundaries with my xhusband. I accepted the boundaries but found out after moving in with him that he did not. After witnessing exactly how close they were I told him I was leaving. He then talked to his x n explained she'd have to take 2nd place, no more 7am phone calls to ';chat'; and he'd need his key back to his house so she couldn't just walk in anymore whenever she felt like it. His fam didn't like her. I was able to go to his parents or sisters for advice. I had/have NO one here in his state. For 3.5 yrs I tolerated this issue but once I bought my own house a yr ago n found that he moved naked pics of his xwife to our new home...I flipped. more details...Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?
This seems more like an ex problem more than an in law problem. I'll wait for the added details......................





After reading all of that, I'm left wondering why in the world you would fight so hard for this guy.He's still hung up on his ex, his family hates you, he has nothing to do with your family, and you feel isolated and alone. Is there anything good here? It seems like it got turned into a competition that you became bound and determined to win and he was the prize, now that you have own, you aren't happy. You need to really evaluate your relationship. Are you staying because you love him so much and because he is such a great guy, or are you staying just to prove everyone wrong? Because the way it sounds now, with the details you have given, it seems like this is more about winning, than it is about love.


If you are staying for love, then you should go with him to his reunion. How will his family ever change their way of thinking if you avoid them forever. If his ex is there, that's not his fault, but if you are willing to leave him over it, then maybe that's what you should do anyway. Leave him and try to find a relationship where everyone is on equal footing. This one seems very lop sided to me.Anyone out there with inlaw/family issues? would love some advice from u...?
I agree. He is divorced from his ex for a reason, but somehow all of that got lost somewhere.

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it is time to let this dud go...and he can take his pics with him....


no questions asked, I don't need anymore info... get rid of him. this is behaviour that is repeating itself... it will not stop , no matter what you do.


get him out of your life and find a real man not a perve....
If he loves you everything about the ex has to go! The ex needs to be put in her place and so does the family. This is your boyfriends total responsibility and he needs to make that clear to everyone. If the family wants him to keep coming around which at these times include you then they should be told by him to respect his relationship concerning you. No one here can do anymore than he allows them to. The ex is an ex for a reason and she needs to move on with her life. Your boyfriend asked you to be in his life with your 5 children........when he proposed this anything to do with the ex including the naked pictures should have be disposed of. His relationship with his children does not have to include her. He can have a personal relationship with them that involves you. I would feel that I had two choices here......1. Remove myself from the entire situation if things don't change 2. Give him the choice to move with you and the children and relocate as far away as possible from everyone. I could also refuse to associate with anyone that puts stress on my life and does not treat me the way I deserve to be treated. You have to think about your children and how this affects them........if mom is unhappy they will pick up on this very fast. I realize that you have alot of emotions and feelings riding on this relationship but if things are not right you cannot allow others to emotionally abuse you. After all these years things should be different and they are not and you are caught up in a mess. I would never want to be around people that had no respect for me and treated me badly. No one should have to accept this trying to have a decent relationship with anybody. You are trying to have a life here and stability for your family and they all have issues and problems about their past. Just because I love someone doesn't mean they are good for me in my life and it doesn't mean I have to tollerate things that they can change but choose not to for me to stay around. You have to decide all of this within yourself and choose what is best for your life and family. Weigh out the good and the bad and see if it is all worth it sweetie. Take care.
I dont understand what are you asking? He told his ex she would have to take second place? no ther is no place for her anymore, that's why they got a divorce,
I would refoucus and forget about the inlaws for a second...and more on your kids and think ifyou really want a guy like this around them.





He cant make up his mind on anything, how are your kids going to develop a trusting relationship with this guy if you cant..
I agree with the answerers who believe that it is NOT an issue that is solely resting on the shoulders of the in-laws.





Your B/F has a bigger responsibility in all of this.This guy is not worth your time! He has disrepescted you and treated you like a doormat, and heaven knows what the future holds. I'm not sure whether he has a heart for you. And please don't tell me his ex had a key to both your house too??? OMG!!





Please, leave this cheating , dishonest prick and settle for somebody who treats you for your woman's worth. Thank God you're are not married, and get out as easy as a woman with no legal ties. And i don't believe he had a meaningful commitment with you either for sharing his life and your things wit the ex,





Good Luck !
Why would you stay? Why would you move your family to be with this guy? You have two choices. Stay there and live with the kids and dump the guy or move back to your original state and live your life. Both do not include this guy. Get rid of him. He is too much into his ex and will never change.





Good Luck.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GET OUT NOW TELL HIM YOU GIVE UP YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS FIRST ITS NOT HEALTHY FOR THEM TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN HIS LIFE EVEN WHEN HIS KIDS GET OLDER THEY WILL BE TOGETHER AT THEIR CHILDREN'S GRADUATIONS, WEDDINGS GRAND KIDS BIRTHS AND BIRTHDAYS WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PUT YOURSELF THROUGH ALL THE PAIN AS WELL AS YOUR KIDS.
I din't even finish reading the whole question because i already know the answer. From experience get out of that realtionship ASAP. I just left the father of my child because of those issues. I am not going to play second fiddle to anyone. Life is too short. Please realize that while he may claim things have changed, they haven't.


Good luck!