I have a close family member who is an alcoholic. This person has many issues but one of them is that they always have to be the center of attention. If they aren't the center of attention they will do something to make sure the focus always shifts to them. I have witnessed this behavior at a wedding, a funeral and countless family functions. It always begins with too much alcohol because ';it's a party'; and ends with this person either becoming belligerent and making a scene or crying and lamenting about their life. Of course the blame never lies with this person, they just have so many things wrong and so many people have wronged them that they have to drink (I'm being sarcastic here!). You also can't say anything to this person without getting them defensive and angry, they talk over you and won't let you finish a sentence. I am having a big family function soon and not inviting this person is not an option, as I said it's a very close relative. I am terrified of what will happen. We have many friends and my spouse's family coming and I would be mortified if any of them witnessed this behavior. I'm not being a snob, we have all tried to be understanding and help but there is a limit to what we can do.I love this person dearly but they are already talking about going out to a bar, drinking etc. I am at my wits end, I don't know how to handle this. Should I do a preemptive strike and warn everyone ahead of time or just say nothing and hope for the best?I need advice about an alcoholic family member?
Everything you wrote about this relatives behavior nails that fact that you say he or she is an alcoholic for certain. I suggest that if you truly love this relative you and those closely associated with this person will seek the help of an Al Anon group so you can more clearly understand how to deal with the alcoholic. Warning everyone that will be attending your function isn't necessary. They will draw their own conclusions and if they address the issue to you just explain that you are aware that your relative has some problems and you're seeking help to know how to deal with it. You are not responsible for this persons actions when drinking and his or her actions should have no reflection on you personally unless you let them.I need advice about an alcoholic family member?
your answer to an alcoholic is there is no luck. he/she is one of your close relative that even make it worse. your best luck is to lecture them and hope the best will come out at the end. you are right advise the people and hope they will understand them.
Don't let them drink before the party. Try staying out of their way. Everyone should be in little groups instead of everyone focusing on just one person. So when they get to your group go to another.
I really sympathize with you. But this persons problem is exactly that, their problem. If you let them get away with it again and again, then you are basically saying loud and clear, its okay for you to embarrass me, and yourself in front of guests. My motto is, if they cant behave, then they must be treated accordingly. Tell this person, that due to their drinking problem and scenes that they cause, you wont be inviting them to your party. Every other family member should do the same. Something must prompt this person, to get help, and start taking responsibility for themselves. Its hard, but it works. I wish you lots of luck with this one.
this person needs an internention and needs A.A HELP TO COME TO GRIPS WITH ILLNESS! alcoholics are famous for trying to get attention in negative ways! i know! because i am alcoholic and am now sober 8 years!! this person needs to be confronted and not coddled! denial is major problem of people associated with people with drinking problem! this person has depression and drinking aggravates drinking because alcohol is a depressant! i had to go through the dt's and almost die before admitting i had problem, but now live by the 12 steps of a.a! and try to help others learn: you do not need alcohol to have a good life! and need to learn how to live without it! good luck!! suggest that person got to detox and get A.A HELP!
Not inviting them IS an option. Do a pre-emptive strike by going to this person and telling them you are NOT inviting them to your function due to their previous behavior. There is a limit to what you should put up with - this person has exceeded that limit. Take control and go to the person and tell them they are NOT to show up at the function under any circumstances. It IS an option. They have earned this treatment.
My brother was a falling-down-drunk kind of alcoholic and got drunk and made a scene at every function he attended. I know NOT INVITING THEM IS AN OPTION. It worked for me. Of course, it hurt his feelings, but that was his own fault.
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