Family issues and need serious advice?

im 19 years old and i have a younger sister who is 16 and adopted. and unfortunately, she is pregnant. (5 months).


i dont really want to say this, but umm....there's a chance, the father of the baby could be our stepfather. and even tho it is called rape, she said she voluntarily did it approximately 5-6 months ago. but she said she had been sleepin with her boyfriend around that time too. our mom dont know and we're kinda scared to tell her cuz right now she's gettin chemotherapy for breast cancer. i cry at night when i think about all that has happened. im in college in another state (yes!), fortunately, so im not here to be part of this.





i just want some advice cuz im lost on what to do right now. i have been helping everyone, and my current boyfriend is feeling neglected and he said he dont mind me helpin them, but its like thats all i care about. what should i do?Family issues and need serious advice?
Do not let yourself become obsessed with it.





You do not live there and you were not part of the decision they made to do what they did.





You have go to live your life around you not around others. When you live it around others you end up being the one that loses in the end.





It would take proof that it was his child in order for anyone to take charges out on him and the charges would have to be made by your mother or your sister who allowed it to happen. If there is a chance your mother would listen to you and take it from there so you can wash your hands of it and concentrate on schooling and your boyfriend like you should be doing then talk to her. If you can't then let it go and let them suffer the consequences of a very bad decision.Family issues and need serious advice?
Do you have any more family members that you can talk to about your sister pregnancy. I wouldn't dare tell your mom, she doesn't need the stress she is already sick. Your sister need her behind kick, and the step-father need to be in jail. Don't take on more then you can handle, or you will stress yourself out.
Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault that your 16 year old sister is having sex with your stepfather. Personally, I think that's quite a way to pay your mother back for adopting her and giving her a better life. She's going to burn in hell, sorry. Maybe you should tell your mom when she's feeling a bit better, but please do not hide it forever.
Be there for your mother! I am completely at a loss with the other info...





Good luck!!
hey well im not a professional...im only 16 but i think the best thing for you to do is ask yourself what your mum would want??? would it hurt her less if you told her or more if she found out somehow? I really do feel for you right now and i bet you feel like your life couldnt get worse but do try and enjoy the time you have left with your mother and if.... no when she over come her ordeal you really should think about telling her. Not only that she's your mum and what ever you decide to do or whatever your sisters done she'll forgive her because she loves you. write back to let me know if i helped you.
Well it's very admirable that you have so much care, %26amp; concern for your family. But the truth is, there is little you can do about this, mainly because you are in no position to offer any meaningfull help in the 1st place, short of reporting your stepdad for incest, and rape, %26amp; you have no positive proof of that anyway.





It's not your job to protect your mom from the man she chose to marry, %26amp; besides, she probably has a pretty good idea of what's going on anyway, %26amp; it's also not your job to go around making acusations to your mom about her husband either. Plus, I doubt very much that she is going to appreciate her daughter pointing out to her what a great big mistake she has made in her most recent choice for a husband.





As for your step sister, well she is still just a child, %26amp; needs someone to step up %26amp; be a hero for her.


You can report your concerns to the authorities in the jurisdiction where your family resides anonymously, %26amp; allow them to investigate the situation. In some jurisdictions a 16yo may be considered to be past the age of consent for sex, but was she 16 when she became pregnant?


OK, technically there is no incest since she's adopted, but her stepdad has no business impregnating his wifes adopted daughter, and the possibility of sexual abuse needs to be investigated.





Other than that, try to worry less about things that you have absolutely no control over, and more about the things that you do, like finishing college, %26amp; building your own life.
I think this is a terribly sad scenario for everyone involved. Your mom, you, your stepfather, and even your sister will be able to live with the final outcome of this scenario. Whether it is divorce, being disowned, or your stepfather going to jail. However, the only thing that will normalize this unstable, dysfunctional scenario, is for your sister to grow up quickly, get somekind of employment, and raise this child away from all the dysfunction that surrounded her in the first place. Your stepfather is a PIG and SHOULD go to jail for doing what he did. Whether he is the father or not. Where I come from 16 is a minor. You need to absolutely focus yourself and school. Help your mom stay healthy. Help your sister to make healthy choices for herself and her unborn child. She needs to turn her life around or else the dysfunction will go on forever. That little baby will need love, stability and a healthy home to grow up in. Talk to your sister, help her to get away from your stepfather, and help her to start a new healthy life away from this scenario.
your Mom should be aware of it. do not blame your little sister ,because the adult stepdad ';abused'; her. there is no ';sonsenting'; with a minor child. especially, when the ';freshflesh'; is served under his roof !!!!and that man is married to your mother. this is called ';rape'; your mother should take the necessary disposition and notify the social services or the law enforcement services...Men like your stepdad should be behind bars. and yur mom has enough to do beside her cancer, as staying with a man like that.


first ! talk to your mom. and if you want to stay away from it, this is ok, because at least, yu know that you will be able to sleep with peace of mind. the truth should come out !
Let's take this 1 step at a time....


1. You are over 19, so you are free from any of this. However, if you know that your sister is having sex with your mom's boyfriend, then you know that there is a crime being commited. You have a responsibility to tell your mom, or the authorities. You do not want to be blamed for withholding information. Besides, if you were your mom, wouldn't you want to know? I encourage you to tell her asap. If she is able to get rid of the boyfriend, a big part of the problem can go away.


2. The fact that a 16 year old girl says she gave him consent is immaterial. He is havig sex with a minor. Period. In addition, the fact that your mom is leaving her child in his supervision could be regarded as neglect, and your sister could be removed from the home if the mother does not get rid of the boyfriend.


3. The baby could be taken away from the mother or father if neither is unable to support it. The fact that the father may have to go to jail for rape excludes him from being able to do so, and the fact that your sister is still a minor means that she still has to go to school, which in turn means that she will need her mother to help her raise the child.


However, the fact that your mother is ill may mean that she herself is unable to take care of the baby, and therefore, the baby is at risk of being taken away from the home.


What a potential disaster.


4. I am sure that you want to help out in some way. i also think it is wise for you to stay in school. But realize that this is a major trauma. If things get any worse and you can't concentrate on school, see if you can get a temporary 'leave-of-absence' from school so you can avoid failing classes. It may also allow you to better help your family. You sister and mother need to make some big decisions, and they is going to be some unavoidable conflict.


5. One suggestion I can make is to see if there is a stable relative who would be willing to take custody of your sister and the baby while all of this is happening. if your sister shows that she is not living with the mother, then she can keep her baby safe while the mother gets rid of her 'boyfriend/molestor.' Then, once the truth is dealt with, she can return to live with her mom. That is, if she and her mom can reconcile.


6. As for your sister's new boyfriend, he does not have to be involved unless the baby is determined to be his. That can be done after the birth through a court order. i would concentrate on getting rid of the boyfriend, no matter if the baby is his or not. He is a molestor who should pay for his indecent behavior.


Keep your chin up girl, and kudos to you for being there for your family:)


Good luck!