Husband's family controlling and abusive. Need advice urgent advice.?

This is a little long, but please read it thru and respond. Ten points is worth it.





We have been married since last year december. His father owns a store and his younger brother works in the store. My husband has a government job from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.


Before we were married, he didn't have much of a life. He was only working. Government job, his father's store and as a computer tech.


Now, that he is married, it's obvious that he has added responsibilities. A wife.


I am very understanding. I know that he has work to do and he makes a lot of effort to spend as much time with me as possible to build and maintain our relationship.


His brother would open his fathers store in the morning and he would close in the evening. His father is sick, so he can't do it. The brother is irresponsible and undependable so he comes very late to open the store. The father begs my husband to do it.


My husband has to get up super early, leave me in bed, open the store, come back home and get ready for work. They expect him to still come down on afternoons to close the store. When he doesn't or can't, they call him and harrass him to come down. Other times, goods come into the port at 9 in the night sometimes, they call him an hour or two before to go and collect the goods. If he can't make it, his father verbally abuses him and calls him ungrateful. The brother and father are always calling him to do things for them, which he does but there are times when he can't and he is abused verbally by the father and put on a guilt trip by the brother.


He has a lot of responsibilities and no time for himself or me sometimes and it is very stressful and it depresses him a lot. He has spoken to his father and brother about it on many occasions but they seem not to care or want to understand.


When he lets them know that he is spending time with his wife or is helping his wife or they should ask his wife for him to leave home instead of calling him all the time, they make references to me as if i have too much right, or say in what happens to my husband.





What can he do to bring them to an understanding without being abused? What can he do to preserve his sanity and his health? He is overworked and depressed. Thank you.Husband's family controlling and abusive. Need advice urgent advice.?
All he can do it stop taking the abuse. They abuse him because they know he will cave and give in. He needs to let things go. If the brother does not show up then the store does not open period. It should not be your husbands responsibility to carry his brother especially since they are the ungrateful ones and I would be telling them so.





When they start with the abuse he needs to stop it. Tell them that he is not talking to them until they can act like adults and stick to it. If they are on the phone hang it up and shut it off. if it is in person simply walk out. He had to be the one to stop it. They know they can get their way. If a little does not work then they just lay it on.Husband's family controlling and abusive. Need advice urgent advice.?
You should find a solution that works for all of you. One that does not create stress and depression for you, your husband and his father and brother.
He needs to put his foot down, and do what he says he'll do. He doesn't have to Jump when they say so...it's a choice.
If he doesn't speak up, it'll surely continue.
';I'm sorry, Dad/brother, but I already have a job of my own. If you need additional help at the store, I suggest you hire someone.'; Repeat as necessary, and consider changing/unlisting your phone number if they don't get the hint.