Saturday, July 31, 2010

Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?

I'm expecting our first and we're both very happy; we waited a long time for this! :D





Trouble is, my grandmother seems to feel very entitled to my child. She calls me every stinking day (crap, I need caller ID) and while I love her, she's got me pulling my hair out.





She routinely asks if I am doing things she did when she was pregnant and when I gently reply that I am not, she acts like I am horribly neglectful and abusive. Seriously lady, things have changed in the last forty five years!





She came by from out of town and just sat on my couch and bawled because I told her no, she would not be having a say in how this child is raised.





The icing on the cake was just a little while ago, she called and gave me this weird ultimatum that we needed to get rid of all our animals (we raise our own food, for crying out loud!) or she would come take the baby away. I just hung up before my head exploded.





What do I do here? She is just acting nuts. :(Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?
She is acting nuts alright.





You are going to have to make it clear that while she loves you and your baby, and while you appreciate her concern and input, you are not changing your lifestyle for her.





Just tell her once... and if she comes over, starts crying just start running the vacuum and ignoring her. I'm serious.Issue with family member regarding our baby... advice please!?
Tell her that her ideas sound just wonderful and you're going to start doing these things right away. Then do whatever you want, how you want and when you want.
She can't take your baby away -- don't worry. She was just being a babbling old lady .... I wouldn't let it get to you.





I find that with older people, it's best not to argue. It's best just to say something like, ';Okay, thanks for the advice, grandma, I'll be sure to do that.'; Then just let it go out the opposite ear. Chances are that a few days or weeks later, she won't remember it.





I'm wondering if your grandmother is just lonely. Is she living alone? Is her husband still alive? She may just be trying to deal with her loneliness, and it comes out in unhelpful ways.





You may also want to try limiting the amount of time you spend with her, till after your baby is born. Being pregnant, you don't need any added stressors in your life.


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hahah just wait until the baby is actually born. Complete strangers will feel the need to stop you and tell you what you're doing wrong! Be thanksful she cares- and brush the comments off
tell her that you will try to remember what she told you and then tell her that it is your kid and you will raise how you see fit ( just please don't abuse it)
Obviously, you need caller ID. My mother was the same way when I was pregnant with my kids. Your Grandmother just has control issues.


Try telling her what she wants to hear and NEVER let her be alone with your child.


She can't take your child away from you as long as you provide a safe secure environment for him or her.


OR..... let her know there will be boundaries that she will not cross if she wants to have anything to do with you or your child.
if its causing u this much trouble just get rid of it. You can probably take it to somewhere in Mexico and get alot of money for the organs
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