Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I have a family dilemma! PLEASE HELP, ANY ADVICE WILL HELP?

ok well 2 months ago my best friends husband died. we planned on monday the 16th to go out to dinner to celebrate his birthday (thats his birthday) well this saturday my b/f mom died unexpectinly. she had been sick for a long time, but we didnt think it was going to happen so soon and out of no were. well my b/f is a wreck and needs me. so i dont know if i should cancel with my friend who is also a wreck and leave her hanging on her husbands birthday...or should i tell ym b/f i will see him after dinner...im just lost for what to do. i want to be there for both of themI have a family dilemma! PLEASE HELP, ANY ADVICE WILL HELP?
If you are in a situation where you have to choose, try to find a medium. For instance, maybe a friend/relative of your boyfriend could stay with him until dinner is over?


If you can't, then you need to choose your boyfriend! That is my opinion. You know, best friends are very important, but, if this man is your MAN!, then he needs you to stand beside him right now. I know this is a hard choice, but I would have to choose my boyfriend. In my life, my best friend would totally understand, because that is what best friends do! This is his Mom! God bless him and his family right now, and your best friend too.


But talk with your best friend. She is your friend and with her being in the same situation, she should be very understanding. Right now, your boyfriend needs you, he is your immediate family (in this situation) He should come first. I know your best friend will understand. You can always send her something sweet and special to let her know that she is in your thoughts and prayers at that time. I will keep you and your loved ones in my prayers. Very sorry for the losses you are dealing with but, something to remember, your loved ones are at peace and in a great presence. God Bless!I have a family dilemma! PLEASE HELP, ANY ADVICE WILL HELP?
You can always email me, anytime! I hope everything lightens up on you soon. Things are crazy here too! And for the last 2 months.

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uh, take 'em both to dinner.
Why can't the 3 of you get together? I mean, your best friend understands what your boyfriend is going through right now, and with that can you take care of both of them without having to neglect one.


Try to talk to your best friend and see if she wants to come over. Then talk to your signifant other. Since she is your best friend do I think that it will be ok to have her around when things get taken care of....
I think you should tell your b/f about the dinner plans you made, and that you want to be there for both, so you are going to go ahead and go to dinner and give him some alone time and you will be back soon. chances are is that he needs some time to cry alone and if you just explain to him I'm sure he will understand and respect that you also want to be there for your friend.
Go to dinner with your friend, she needs you. But don't stay for drinks, or go to a movie or something after. Instead go home and help your boyfriend. And call your boyfriend a couple of times while you're out, just to check up on him and let him know you're thinking of him. If you can, arrange for one of your boyfriend's buddies to come over that night to keep him company while you're out.
Go to dinner with your friend but go to your bf's house before and/or afterwards
Go to dinner with your friend and focus on the Celebration of it and afterwards go to your b/f and explain to him how it was a positive time for your friend and tell him on his mothers birthday you and him shall do the same thing and if she had a favorite rest. go there. Good Luck
your man is supose to come first all the time. Talk to her about it and see what she says .
Well put it This way, on the 16th. spend time with both..show your respect for your b/f and go out with your girlfriend...split your day in half, because right now you are gone to spend the most of your time with your b/f anyway so try and do both, because you might not have time for your g/f after dinner anyway..
well, i think that you should go out with you friend and help her through it all. just tell your b/f that you will see him on sunday or something. if he really likes or even loves you then he should understand that you also have to comfort your friend and you are not going to put your attention towards him. so go out with your frined, and then your b/f
Honey it sucks but they both need you. Go out for the birthday dinner and be available for other friend all nite consoling her. Bring icecream and comfy clothes so you guys can sit on couch to be her therapist. Sit quietly knowing she only needs your shoulder to lean on. You sound like a great friend.hope this helps. God is smiling down upon you.
Keep the dinner date with the friend, then get back to be with your boyfriend after. I'm sure he will understand you keeping your commitment to your friend... and you'll probably only be gone for a couple of hours.
What would you want your boyfriend to do if your mom had just died? You need to be there for him and give him your support. I'm sure your girlfriend will understand, and be there for both of you. I offer my sympathy to both of your friends.
could you maybe all get together? or would that not work? ok, my idea is really stupid. so don't listen to me. do what you think is right.
Invite them both over for dinner, everyone can comfort one another
ok explain what happened to your bf and ask if you can bring then tell your bf that you ant to go out and have a good time so that he will feel better his mom probably didnot want him to mope around she would want him to be happy
Best friends are more important than boyfriends. Both of them need you but you already told your friend you'd be there for her, and you don't want her be both crushed and angry with you. Your boyfriend can hang out with you another day. Just make time for both of them and confort them both and they'll both be happy!

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